To think I may never get my driving license?

[Noturningbacknow]

NC as I don't want this linked to previous posts.

I've been 'learning to drive' on and off for years. It's the same pattern every time: I do lessons, get to about the same level of confidence (which isn't high, but it never seems to go beyond that), go for a test, fail. In total I've done about 4 tests over 10 years - I say about because one doesn't really count, I got so nervous I didn't actually complete the test. The 2 tests I've done in the past year weren't complete disasters, but it seems like different errors pop up every time making it very difficult to address with my instructor. My instructor says my driving is fine but there's always something I seem to mess up on, whether it's the manoeuvres or just general observations. I don't think I'm a terrible driver but I do get nervous easily and the driving test doesn't exactly help with that!

It's really gotten me down over the years and I feel so embarrassed that I can't seem to master a skill most people take for granted. I've had to miss out on many things because I don't want to ask for lifts and public transport isn't great and it's affected my employment prospects too.

So what do I do now? I'm already learning on automatic and I've spent so much money on lessons, yet I don't seem to be improving much. I don't have anyone I can practice with either, so I'm having to rely on paid lessons all the time. I have another test booked in but I really feel no more confident than I did when I first started learning. Do I just give up and accept that I'm going to live like this forever? Was anyone like me and eventually did pass somehow? I feel like all my lucky stars would need to align on the day for me to pass

Oh no, I am in your position now, I failed 4 manual tests 20 years ago, and learning Automatic, I have booked my test for March, I have been having hypnotherapy for anxiety which has really helped. I am off to the Dr, for him to prescribed something for my nerves for the day. When I failed 4 tests it was different things each time. I don't have a car to practice on so rely on paid lessons.

I feel quietly confident, it helps that my driving instructor has put up tutorials on you tube for us to watch, manoeuvres, tricky roundabouts locally.

Try an intensive course. I passed on first attempt after doing one of those.

You can do it, I failed 2 tests through nerves and then passed with flying colours. That was 22 yrs ago and I have had a trouble free journey since then

Have you tried taking anything to calm your nerves? Perhaps Kalms or Rescue Remedy might help you.

You can do it if you get your nervousness under control. I understand the nerves, I was the same. But as soon as I failed a test I would book my next one, and passed on my third. It was absolutely silly things I had failed on, and it was purely down to nerves.

Try and blag it, tell yourself you're good enough, rather than getting bogged down in your worry about it. If you fail, it really isn't the end of the world, you just had a bad hour. But don't give up, and don't be put off trying again sooner rather than later.

Don't give up. I passed on my 5th go, made different errors on each failed test. I also know someone who passed on their 9th go. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

I'm about to start learning again, 16 years after I failed my last (3rd) test. This time I'm going automatic (I now have a disability which means I can't drive a manual). Racing the DCs - dd1 is 19 and dithering about learning - I keep reading her my personal riot act about don't-do-what-I-did-learn-NOW!! Ds is 17 on Sunday and has his license ready to go. I think I'll do it after ds but before dd1. DH (who does all the driving) is prepared to get an automatic for me to drive when I pass (he much prefers manual but really would prefer if I did more of the driving!

I had over 100 lessons. I failed twice and the one time the examiner thought I had not revealed disabilities. All got sorted. I finally passed 26 years ago and although I have never been a great driver, I know my limitations and can use my car to do the journeys I need to make. But I nearly gave up but the more practice you have the better. Can family members take you out to practice? As your attempts have been spread out I would give it another go.

My strategy in the end was just to keep doing tests one after the other and eventually you get lucky. There is no point driving fine in lessons and messing it up when it actually counts. That’s what I used to do. I took over 8 tests in the end. I’ve been driving 6 years with no accidents now.

I passed on my 7th! All down to nerves. I went to the doctors and was prescribed Propranolol to calm me down and it worked. I was 18 when I passed. I just kept booking test after test. I was not giving up! Don't you give up too!

I'm going to go against the grain and say you should cut your losses and accept that it isn't for you and is causing you needless unhappiness stress and financial strain. We all have things we can't do, that others find a breeze, it isn't a moral failure or a reflection on you as a person You've mamaged for a decade without needing to drive, is it really absolutely essential for you or do you just think you should be able to drive?

I don't think it's a skill people take for granted. Learning to drive is hard.

Whatever you do don't give up! You have come so far. I know a couple of folk who have given up after a few tests and what a shame. I told myself when i was learning I would just keep sitting tests until I passed, nobody needs to know how many tests and when you are taking them. It is hard with the nerves but keep going!

Off topic slightly - but I wonder what all the people who say "retest all drivers every 5 years" make of this kinds of stories.

I was the same
For some reason I just persisted , I think it took 8 years
One day I passed . It was the BEST moment of my life

I feel For you , but persist and don’t give up

Spend £750 on lessons. Got out of the car with 3 prepaid lessons to go and said I'm never doing that again! I was throwing good money after bad and hated every second behind the wheel. I was only doing it really because it's something 'adults' are supposed to do. Admitting to myself that it's a skill i do not have and was never going to confidently have was wonderfully freeing.

That said I live in a city with fabulous public transport and I have no kids.

Forget the plant based crap you need beta blockers. I failed 4 tests due to nerves with a different fault (s) each time. The beta blockers obliterated the nerves but none of my consciousness and I passed 5th time. I've been happily driving for 20 years now.
Even if I'd failed I'd have carried on because I knew with the beta blockers I could do it.

I've obviously survived without driving all these years but it does mean I've missed out on a lot of things, not gone for jobs I liked because it was inaccessible etc. I just hate feeling dependent on people and when you don't live in an area with good public transport sometimes you do feel like that.

I have been thinking of doing an intensive course but they're so pricey and I can't bear the thought of failing after doing one. I will definitely try some anxiety medication too before my next test but I can't figure out if it really is nerves or just that I'm not a very good driver. It's a bit of both, probably.

I'm pretty much resigned to doing test after test until I get lucky. But it's so hard not to give up - psyching yourself up every time is so exhausting and the feeling of failing yet again is horrid. I don't even want to tell my partner that I'm going for another test and I hate going with the instructor every time and having to go back in the car and make conversation after I've failed.

I think retests should be every 10 years. Too many drivers have no Idea about the rules of the road, or haven't got good enough reactions. The test would need to be easier though. At the moment, it's just too difficult.

Don’t give up, loads of people fail over and over again. You aren’t on your own.

If I was you I’d decide that I was going to keep doing tests until I pass. Rather than thinking ‘this is it! Do or die!’

Two words: Beta blockers!
I was like this too OP. Never thought id ever pass. Super nervous and it tripped me up. Then my instructor suggested beta blockers and I sailed through my third test in an oasis of calm. It was even a pleasurable experience!

I was also going to suggest hypnotherapy like a PP did. I’ve heard of it working wonders. I used it to prepare for giving birth after a previous bad experience and it was so good, I’d definite try it to prepare for another event that I was terrified about.

DD asked if her instructor could sit in on the test (test number 4) as apparently its allowed, they're not allowed to say anything driving related though. It made a massive difference to her nerves and she passed.

I failed a whole bunch of tests. Once you have failed more than one the anxiety becomes huge and this in itself is a barrier to passing ime. When I did eventually pass I had a perfect test score and have now been driving fine with no issues for a couple of years, people are comfortable in the car with me etc and nobody has ever asked how many tests I have taken.

I had a couple of instructors as the first one was rubbish (wasn't drilling me enough so I was lax on mirrors etc but never corrected), second was fab but I failed one with him from nerves and then relocated so I just took a couple more with another guy.
Are you always using the same instructor?

Best thing to do is not tell anyone you are testing etc. I didn't even tell my DP he came home and I showed him the certificate. Took the pressure way off.