To think I may never get my driving license?

[Noturningbacknow]

NC as I don't want this linked to previous posts.

I've been 'learning to drive' on and off for years. It's the same pattern every time: I do lessons, get to about the same level of confidence (which isn't high, but it never seems to go beyond that), go for a test, fail. In total I've done about 4 tests over 10 years - I say about because one doesn't really count, I got so nervous I didn't actually complete the test. The 2 tests I've done in the past year weren't complete disasters, but it seems like different errors pop up every time making it very difficult to address with my instructor. My instructor says my driving is fine but there's always something I seem to mess up on, whether it's the manoeuvres or just general observations. I don't think I'm a terrible driver but I do get nervous easily and the driving test doesn't exactly help with that!

It's really gotten me down over the years and I feel so embarrassed that I can't seem to master a skill most people take for granted. I've had to miss out on many things because I don't want to ask for lifts and public transport isn't great and it's affected my employment prospects too.

So what do I do now? I'm already learning on automatic and I've spent so much money on lessons, yet I don't seem to be improving much. I don't have anyone I can practice with either, so I'm having to rely on paid lessons all the time. I have another test booked in but I really feel no more confident than I did when I first started learning. Do I just give up and accept that I'm going to live like this forever? Was anyone like me and eventually did pass somehow? I feel like all my lucky stars would need to align on the day for me to pass

Exactly, damned if you do, damned if you don't. On here I have seen non drivers viewed by the driving community as being: lazy, undesirable, CF, looked down on as EVERYBODY should be able to drive, it is a life skill right!

You need to keep going when you fail, that is where you are going wrong. It's horrible I know. I was super confident but a bag of nerves on the day. I can honestly say I was the most nervous I've ever bn on my driving test. Second test I was worse than the first but thankfully passed. My leg wouldn't stop shaking.

My dh took 5 attempts, he was actually really gd just very unlucky. He kept going as he needed to pass and had spent a fortune.

You don't really learn how to drive properly until you pass, and you will get better. You need to keep going you've put so much time and money in to this.

I was the same as you OP, picked it up and put it down several times.

This time I got to test ready and it took me 5 goes to pass. My instructor said I was ready from the first test, nerves just got the better of me.

In the end I got some rescue remedy and some calm balm and used both for the test. Wether it was the placebo effect or magic I don't know but it worked.

Keep at it OP - you have come th is far, don't give up.

Took me 5 attempts, some down to bad luck, some down to nerves from me. I was also very embarrassed and didn't think I'd ever pass!! I second trying an intensive course and maybe even a different test centre to shake things up a bit. Where I used to live people would quite often choose the next town as it was smaller and easier to drive around.

I used to struggle with the controls and watching the road at the same time. Once I got more practice/experience under my belt and the controls seemed more automatic to me I could concentrate on the road and it got easier.

Oh and my last test, the examiner who came out was notorious for failing everyone. When I saw him I sort of resigned myself to failure and it took the pressure of me, which ironically helped me pass!

My DP passed on his seventh attempt. He changed driving instructors and also the area he took his test in (chose a small village instead of a city or town), seemed to do the trick for him. He failed in the past for all sorts of seemingly petty reasons (things drivers do all of the time). Nobody drives how they do during the test at all.

One tip I was given was to choose rush hour, you spend most of the test in traffic .

Someone at work passed after failing five times. He didn't give up! Just kept going. You need to keep trying and build your confidence and tell yourself you can do it! Good luck.

Don’t give up - my son failed 4 tests before he finally passed, different faults each time. He finally passed and is now a very good safe driver, just got very nervous with tests

Keep going! I took loads of tests and nerves got the better of me every time until the last one where the examiner was lovely and put me at ease. I moved to a big city after passing though and hardly drove. I hated driving and ex would really undermine me. Now I'm single I've bought a car and am starting to really enjoy it. It's absolutely about how much you practice. Would it be possible to buy a cheap automatic and ask friends to "sit in" for you (that's what we called it when I was young, no idea if people say that now)

Some people are daft!! Shaking because you are nervous of a test doesn't mean that you are too nervous to drive overall. It means that you're nervous of tests!

I used to shake so much driving (after I passed my test) that I had to pull over and calm down. It was just practise and getting out there. Once you pass, get yourself on Freecycle and drive all round town collecting things it really did the trick for me as I was stuck in a rut only driving on roads and routes I knew.

Keep going if you can, as you say it will be worth it in the end to have more independence. Do you sit as a passenger with DH? I wonder if trying to sit in the passenger seat but think like you're driving might help build confidence and expose you to lots of different driving situations. Just trying to be aware and look out for things. Not sure what you failed on, but if it was those sorts of small things, it might be useful. I used to cycle a fair bit before learning to drive and I think that road experience was helpful.

Oh and for anyone wondering, I no longer shake when I drive. I could probably have done with some medication, but it was just nerves. The more you do it, the more familiar it gets.

I finally passed when I had a good teacher (female )

Before I had
Chatty man
Shit man
Shitter man
Screechy woman

So if You have a good one - hang
On in there

And don’t tell people .

People were SO surprised when I eventually got it

Go to the GP and ask for Propanolol —a beta blocker. Mine prescribes it for driving tests.

One tip I was given was to choose rush hour, you spend most of the test in traffic wink

I like that idea

I spent 17 years learning on and off, 4 different instructors, failed theory test..,

IME it's as much about the instructor as it is about you.

My final instructor refused to put me in for my test until I could complete my "practice test" with no faults... it really made a massive difference I think... I passed the first time I had a test (2 years ago tomorrow!)

Have you had practice tests?

Not RTFT but i would suggest if you're going to try kalms or such like to try them a few days before, I tried them due to my nerves and ended up sobbing the whole night on them 😭 lol. A good job I didn't try them on the day before my test! Good luck btw, I passed my 4th after some really bad tests, what helped me was thinking of memories of a lovely family member that had passed.

I think you should keep going! I'm in the exact same boat (for 10 years too) . I've never been confident enough to just go for it.
Got some great advice here after my last failed test which was to keep going and I now have a lovely instructor who gives constructive feedback. I decided that 2019 is the year I'm going to really go for it. I have a test booked for February. I feel confident. No idea if I'll get it this time but I'm going to keep pursuing it, as long as it takes.
One thing that upset me was how expensive lessons are and feeling like I wasted money but I now look at it as an investment in myself and my future driving. I'm sure you'll get there :)

Two words: Beta blockers

This 'solution' could result on unfit drivers being on the road, you can't take drugs everytime you drive!

There are many things I would like to do, be an F1 driver for instamce, but I can't, why do we assume that everyone should drive?

For driving tests Tilly not all the time! Dr would nit prescribe it of it was unsafe to drive with.

Don't give up! And don't listen to the comments of the smug drivers on here advising you to accept that it's not your thing. It's some of the existing (arrogant and shit) drivers on the road who've made the test much harder for us.

I'm in my fifth year of learning to drive (age 40), must have done around 60 hours with instructors and 10,000 km in my own car with my husband. I thought about giving up because I was anxious about certain aspects of driving. Over time, this anxiety is dissipating and I now enjoy it and have seen my confidence really improve. I just need to pass the test (have failed once). DH and driving instructor say I can drive. Sometimes these things take time and the experience gained in the meantime is never wasted! But I do regret not having learned when I was a teenager.

For nerves/stress I recommend a good walk. Walking got me through a very stressful period last year and it also helped me not be stressed when I took my test the first time.

I had several years of on and off lessons, spent plenty of money but never felt test-ready. I ended up doing an intensive course, it was brilliant as it gave me the opportunity to do things over and over again - such as spending two hours driving up and down a dual carriageway with a couple of roundabouts until I was confident. And no time to forget between lessons, as the next lesson was the next day! Expensive, but worth it, and I passed first time. I also didn't tell anyone except my partner that I was doing it - it meant no pressure or expectations from other people. Good luck!

Keep trying!

I failed my test 4 times. I got so nervous that I shook so much I couldn't keep my foot on the brake, never mind control the clutch. My hands would be so sweaty that they would slip on the steering wheel. (Oddly, I was never nervous beforehand, this started the moment the examiner asked me to start driving). I abandoned one test in tears, because I knew I'd fucked up.

None of my instructors could understand why, as my driving was fine on lessons.

I had loads of practice between my 4th and 5th tests. My friend's dad used to take me out in his car at least twice a week, and I had a lesson a week as well. I got to the point that all the manouevres were automatic, I did them almost without thinking. By the 5th test, I knew I could do it and regarded the business of proving this to the examiner as just a bit of an irritating formality.

I passed on the 5th go and it was the best thing I ever did. Being able to just get in my car and go somewhere makes life much easier and more fun, and I've had some great jobs that I would never have got if I couldn't drive.

Keep going and you'll do it, my colleague took hers 8 times and she's one of the best drivers I've ever been in a car with.

All those smug first time passers trying to put us off, actually according to Brake, 17-24 year olds are much higher risk of crashing than older drivers. Drivers aged 17-19 make up 1.5% of UK licence holders, but are involved in 9% of fatal and serious crashes. Young Male drivers are involved in many more crashes than young Female drivers according to Brake.

Reasons cited are: youth and inexperience, over confidence, poor Assesment of hazards, prevalent risk taking, speeding, drink and drug taking.

So there you go, I don't see nervous drivers in their statistics at all! So keep trying peeps we will get there and make much safer drivers😃😃😃😃😥

Can your dh or mum or dad or a reliable friend drive? I found having my own car and going out in that (as well as lessons) far more useful.

Also, taking your test in your own car much easier and you're more comfortable and confident (IMO)

If you fail this next test, you have to book the next test on the same day. Don’t give up. I know someone who had to do more than 10 tests. Don’t view a test as an end game; it’s just part of the process and be prepared to fail and try again.

At least in this country the price of the test doesn’t double for every retest!

Is your instructor giving you tips about what time of day to go for?

Instructors are very variable. Like a pp said, change if it’s not working for you.