To feel so angry

[secretnames]

so my stepdaughter she's 12 and lives with me and dh her dad we got her a re-conditioned iphone 6 for christmas even though she only got and iphone 5s last christmas but anyway, she was over the moon

i go to make her bed on friday morning and there is a note in the middle of the made bed (she never does this) saying to santa only, so obviously i open it and it's a letter saying how she got the wrong phone she wanted a 6s and it's the wrong colour

i have seen red! now she has been at her mums this weekend but i want to take the phone off her i am sooooo angry, AIBU?

12 and writing to Santa?
I’m very confused.

Aren't you concerned about a 12 year old writing to Santa?

I don't understand why this would make you angry. She's 12. Just leave the note where it is and ignore it.

Was she trying to be tactful and saying to Santa?

Dear SDD
Tough shit (or maybe something less aggressive)
Love Santa

Well as it was addressed to someone else just ignore it 🤷‍♀️ no need to say anything. As long as she was grateful to you she hasn't actually done anything wrong.

12 and at high school though is she not a little old to still believe in Santa??

Your reaction is WAY over the top. She's a young child, ffs. The only concerning part of your story is that a 12 year old is still writing letters to Santa.

Ignore it. She’s certainly left it for you to see and is trying to play you. Leave it to Santa and if he chooses to ignore it then hey ho.

It was addressed to Santa so just ignore it. Maybe she wrote it just in case a bit of magic would happen.

Fab- don't you mean hey ho ho ho??

I'd be disappointed too if I asked for something and got something else.

At 12 sheisild enough to be responsible for keeping her room tidy and making her bed.

It’s not like she threw it in your face and said it’s the wrong one is it?!

You’ve read a private note. No good comes from snooping

Get over yourself

• she is old enough

most ridiculous over-reaction of the month.

Why do you read notes that are addressed to someone else for a start?

She would have liked another colour, did you know or just ignore her preferences? It cost a few pounds to buy a decent phone case, it's not a huge deal.

It's mean to be so fuming because she is your stepdaughter, it's pathetic to want to take her phone because you are sulking. Grow up, you are the adult here, she is a little kid.

Ignore it. We can’t always get what we want in life.

Wow that’s terrible! You are not being unreasonable, she’s being ungrateful. I think you should suggest to her that if she doesn’t want it, that’s fine, she can hand it back but there won’t be a replacement.

I wonder if she’s written it to Santa because it seems less confrontational? Remember she’s only 12, she doesn’t have the necessary skills to address this like an adult.

Sorry I am wetting myself at “why are you reading notes addressed to someone else?”

OP, you’re over reacting hugely.

She’s 12 and believes in Santa?! Okaaaayy

You shouldn’t have read what wasn’t addressed to you.

I’n Very surprised a 12 yo would write to Santa.

Hand it over to her Dad and let him deal with it. Your reaction to ore-teen selfishness is way over the top.

Her Dad just needs to have a short, quiet talk about counting your blessings.

@CallMeVito 'most ridiculous over-reaction of the month'

I hate to disagree with you, but have you seen the specsavers thread? I think that is just ahead of this.

I would just forget about it.

1 i haven't said anything to her as i wasn't sure what to do

2 she'd already told us before christmas that she knows he's not real

2 she made no preference to what colour and i bought her a selection of different colour cases

4 she said to me on friday afternoon did you see anything in my room today so she obviously wanted us to read it i said no i never noticed anything

She might not realise it's more expensive for a different one and this is her way of seeing if it could be swapped but without upsetting you by asking directly?

If it was a jumper and it was the wrong size she might ask if she can exchange it for a size up but she might not realise it's not quite the same with expensive gadgets as the other model would cost more.

It's hard to tell without hearing her tone of voice or depending what she wrote in her letter (which I think she wanted one of you to see).

I cannot understand, why is she writing to Santa in January??!?

Presuming she's said nothing to you, then just ignore it. It's more possible at this age that she's trying to fit in and say "oh yeah, my SM got me a six, er, it's so unfair, I wanted a 6s" and is trying this narrative out in a letter to Santa (at a completely odd time of year). She probably is happy with it but is in that slightly awkward peer group thing where you're supposed to pretend that all adults are awful embarrassing and out of touch - do you think it could be that?

She was over the moon. Or at least acting grateful at Christmas.

This behaviour is about something else if you ask me. Remember she is 12 and try and get to the bottom of it.