To ask what you naively swore you wouldn't do when raising your child - but ended up doing?

[m4rdybum]

Lighthearted really, but curious

When pregnant, we bought a new born bottle set which had a dummy included. Silly old me said "oh well we'll have it for emergencies but I really don't think we'll use it - they're awful don't you know".

DD is now 13 days old and has had her dummy from the first night Because it settles her and gives mummy and daddy a bit of quiet.

Bedsharing
Didn't intend to BF past 6 months
TV - I have it on at home with him while he plays sometimes and he watches In the Night Garden. It's a great show and keeps him quiet!

TV. It would never be on in our house oh no. Turns out mummy needs some news headlines or Frasier in the morning to feel like an adult. And DC need Tinky Winky and co so mum and dad can wolf down dinner without pick up requests.

I will still try and draw the line at Peppa though, she's a brat.

Shouting.

Saying ‘if you don’t put your coat on we’re going without you’ etc.

TV time -DS1 we had to take the baby gates down and teach him to climb up and down the stairs as we found him sitting on the sofa watching a Postman Pat Video ( yes we are both a lot older now). He had woken up, climbed over the baby gates at the top and bottom of the stairs . Found his video and turned the tv and Video player on. He was tiny, under 18 months.

Read books on demand - Tried my best, they loved a story, but honestly would have been reading 24/7 (suppose that would have sorted tv time out though).

Listen to them - I love a conversation me, we have discussed all sorts of weird and wonderful things over the years, I love listening to their take on the world. I listened ( and learnt a lot) about rugby, dinosaurs and trains, planes and automobiles. Discussed the new and outs of Fireman Sam, Postman Pat etc. but I cannot, just cannot listen to the Console game plots, drives me to the edge, they are so boring. I tried I really did but my brain just switched off.
Sparklyboots My two would/will state their case from here to the end of time. I am quite happy to even now say 'because I said so.'

I did give them dummies, added formula when they looked like they would make it themselves as they were hungry, and they did creep in our bed when I gave up on Supernanny's put them back in their own bed advice led to exhaustion.

The thing that I fell for was the 'making memories' thing. I really packed it in, every cultural experience, sporting activity and learning opportunity I could get them to. Now they are in their late teens (and more) they don't remember much of it at all. They remember trudging round London in the rain, eating wam sandwiches and how I would never let them have anything from the gift shops. Might as well have stayed at home watching Postman Pat or Transformers.

I genuinely don’t find the post about their child’s American accent from You Tube videos funny

Neither, but each to their own I suppose.

Mine was always I never wanted to use the phrase 'because I said so!'

After having a DS who is ridiculously inquisitive I have used this phrase way more than I could ever of dreamed!!

@UpTree
I don't think the pp means she's actually developed an American accent instead of her normal accent.

My dd watches YouTube and speaks in American accent when playing with her dolls/figures and role playing (as that's what she watches)

She does not talk in an American accent any other time.

No pain relief in labour, no TV until they were at least 7 (haha), no cooking separate meals, no disposable nappies - these are all things I totally caved in on!

I went round a friends house and she was feeding her young DS.
She put him in the high chair put the telly on and serves him chicken nuggets and chips. I swore I would never ever do any of those things
That was until I became a parent of course 🤣

I remember being a bit judgy seeing a baby in Mcdonalds chewing on a chip. God I was a dick.

Mine was only ever going to drink water or milk, with the occasional (diluted) fresh fruit juice or smoothie. Fizzy and squash would only ever be allowed at parties.

Lol.

I had real visions of how I would EXPLAIN things to my children. I was a primary school teacher and this gives a really false idea of how easy children are to control. I had happy, relaxed relationships with the majority of children I taught and they were always obedient!

Then I had a late talking, headstrong toddler to deal with and life got so much harder. There was no reasoning, only distraction and physical removal (firemans lift exits from baby groups, anyone?).

Having said that, I am sure he has perfect pitch now because he watched the same baby Einstein dvd three times a day for about a year

Dummies!!! I was adamant I didn't want our little one having them until my step mum bought some and I caved. They worked a treat and I'm glad I used them now as it settled her quickly. We went cold turkey with the dummy when she was 4 months and havent looked back since xxx

Was not going to cosleep. Held out until the sleep deprivation nearly killed me, then kicked myself for not doing it sooner.

Was not going to have a house full of brightly coloured plastic tat, my DC would all have educational wooden toys kept in their rooms.

Was not going to be one of those mothers that has to have the baby physically attached to her all the time, absolutely not! Then DC1 came along and was one of those babies that has to be physically attached to someone all the time, oops.

Honestly used to think slings were a parenting philosophy choice for hippy types, not a survival mechanism for parents of clingy koala babies who just want their sodding hands free without the baby screaming

I think the American accent thing is really interesting; there's a child with a pronounced capacity to hear (and see, according to the post) the alternative registers and codes and adapt to them. It's a sign of accute social sensitvity - she'll make a brilliant negotiator, writer, performer, artist, advertising exec, PR guru or any number if public sector roles that require people respectfully to take on the codes and ways of thinking of others.

Just in relation to being able to speak in another accent, my family are all brilliant natural mimics but to be able to do it at will so young is pretty special. All the great mimics I know have a good ear for music, too.

Young children pick up accents pretty easily though. I always remember a young girl I used to teach who went on holiday to South Africa for three weeks. She came back with a full blown SA accent. Her mother is South African and obviously she was around her all the time but never had the accent then.

I wasn’t going to let me children come to the toilet with me. I couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t just leave them outside the bathroom for a few minutes. Then I had two 20 months apart who scream blue murder if I go out of eyeline for a nanosecond, and it’s so much quieter if I just take them with me.

I was also adamant I’d be very relaxed about breastfeeding, I was going to try it but if it wasn’t working I’d go to formula. The DD arrived and I became obsessed with BFing and flogged myself half to death getting it to work. Happily after 6 weeks it did get loads easier & we stuck with it.

@AhoyDelBoy my DB spent a 2 week holiday with a boy from Liverpool when we were around 7years old .... it was amazing how he developed this brilliant Liverpudlian accent!

I had some mad, fantasy idea of what I'd be like as a parent - some kind of disney ideal falling between Mary Poppins and Caroline Ingalls.

I was going to breastfeed, never use dummies, always feed healthy organic food, power through childbirth with no pain relief, restrict television, sing my babies to sleep, always speak kindly but firmly, never shout, never drive around until they both fell asleep park up and fall asleep myself, never co-sleep, never use formula, never hustle them through the doorways of nursery/school and then run away as fast as I could, never show my toddler how to turn on the TV at 5.30am so that I could have another hour of sleep, never use jar food, never pray for them to fall asleep at night so that I could collapse in a heap of exhausted bewilderment wondering how the hell I mis-judged almost every aspect of parenthood so badly!!!!!

I've already posted mine further down, but a friend of mine was adamant that her baby would only wear white! No stripes, no dots or colours it must be plain white....

A few hundred changes later because ever speck of milk spilt showed on the clothes that changed...

I love this thread.
Never planned not to use a dummy but never foresaw just how dependent my kids would be on it. Have only just managed to wrestle it away from the eldest and I swear to God she's showing withdrawal tremors.

It was my ex who had all the ideas ...
No dummy
No formula
No tv
No sweets
No fast food
No co sleeping

He wasn't willing to follow it through though. That was my job apparently. Arse

Now he's no cell phones, no make up, no going out to eat, no ear piercing, no late nights. My kids are young teenagers and I do as I please when they are with me.

Why so much dummy hate?! They’re actually recommended now to reduce SIDS so you can consider it good parenting now

Breastfeeding was my main one. I wanted to do it for at least a year. Lasted 10 days with my reflux, tongue tied baby before mastitis set in and I was a quivering wreck. Still sad about it now a few years on. Did slightly better with DD2 but still didn’t make it to a year - actually hated it.

Thought I would love all the earth mothery, attachment parenting mallark. Was shocked that I ended up having more in common with Gina bloody ford! I was all about routine, sleep schedules, in their own rooms at 4 months etc etc. I think I found the whole thing so overwhelming it was my way of gaining some control over the chaos... didn’t see that coming!

Didn’t stick to:

• no staying in his room til he fell asleep
• no letting him creep into my bed
• no bribing with chocolate to do homework
• no scooting on pavements
• no toy weapons

Did stick to:

• no fruit juice or fizzy drinks
• no TV on schooldays
• no dummy
• no baby rice
• no unsupervised iPad use (and only at weekends)

-

Ds1 stuck to all the rules, he was a nightmare in his teenage years hated school us in fact everything and pushed every boundary. Ds2 ten year gap was so exhausted with ds1 I let him do whatever he wanted just to have a quiet life. Never had any trouble with him in fact he is uni now and such a great kid.