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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you naively swore you wouldn't do when raising your child - but ended up doing?

129 replies

m4rdybum · 27/01/2019 13:47

Lighthearted really, but curious Grin

When pregnant, we bought a new born bottle set which had a dummy included. Silly old me said "oh well we'll have it for emergencies but I really don't think we'll use it - they're awful don't you know".

DD is now 13 days old and has had her dummy from the first night Grin Because it settles her and gives mummy and daddy a bit of quiet.

OP posts:
Lookingforadvice123 · 27/01/2019 15:04

Not too many things actually, but I think mainly because I went in with an open mind. I was happy to use a dummy or formula if it worked for us - which it did!

I wanted to limit screen time which, within our own limits, I have, as DS age 3 only has 1 hour max in the weekday evenings and it's rarely on in the day (more relaxed on the weekend but it still tends to only be an extra eg 20 mins before lunch or before we go out).

I've relaxed over junk food since DS has gotten older but I only envisaged myself being stricter until he was about 2 anyway.

Basically go in with low standards and you won't disappoint yourself!

I've definitely given in too easily for an easy life on occasion, though.

UpTree · 27/01/2019 15:07

It’s not though intohell.... A child has watched so much telly that they’ve developed an accent from it!
I consider myself to be pretty chilled out by most stuff but that is insane!

NannyKasey · 27/01/2019 15:09

No Dummies ever
No Screen/TV time
Exclusively breastfed until weaned

Yes that really happened [big grin] Wink

Both mine had dummies (bobos) within a week (same with DGDs)
The electronic babysitter (TV) gave me the chance to go to the toilet in peace.
I gave up Breastfeeding DD at 6 weeks as she wasn't thriving ,
DS wouldn't latch on after 3 days so gave up then as well.

My DD is 29 (has 2 DDs aged 6 and 2) and DS is 26 so I don't think I did a bad job

CoastalLife · 27/01/2019 15:10

DH and I were adamant that we would have no toys in our living room. That it would be an adult-only oasis of calm, and DD could have all her toys in her room and we'd bring them down a few at a time for her to play quietly in the kitchen whilst I did some baking and DH cooked us beautiful meals.

Ha. Hahahahaha.

My lounge looks like fucking Toys R Us. I do all my baking with DD so it's strictly "family-only" consumption as if I look away for a nano second she's licking the spoon and then shoving it back in. DH still cooks lovely meals though and to be fair DD is a really good eater (which we bloody deserve - she is crap at sleeping and doesn't travel well so it's nice to have one 'win').

I think I just had this mad idea that somehow having a baby/toddler/child would just slot in around everything else. Apparently DD did not get that memo 😂

SpotlessMind · 27/01/2019 15:11

I was so sure that I would not be a mum that tip toed around her baby, that babies need to get used to noise. And then I was presented with a baby that woke up screaming if I so much as looked at him the wrong way - so much tip toeing followed, I used to know the exact configuration of steps I needed to take to get out of the living room without hitting a squeaky floorboard.

EastEndQueen · 27/01/2019 15:12

I was going to give DS small portions of whatever we ate, he would eat real food and not be fussy. I knew this would be fine as would be strict on meal times in a ‘take it or leave it way’

Today he ate a toddler squeezey fruit yogurt for breakfast and after swimming rice cakes and a biscuit. At lunch time he rejected our lasagne (despite liking pasta done with tomato or cheese based sauce) and so had a cracker, banana and half a chocolate muffin. He is just emerging from his nap now and I can hear DH giving him the other half of the chocolate muffin Blush

I also carry emergency bribery chocolate buttons. For emergencies like the Circle Line Grin

EastEndQueen · 27/01/2019 15:14

I also did not get the model that plays on the floor with a few wooden creative toys whilst I cook

SpongeBoobBigPants · 27/01/2019 15:20

Opening packets of food in a supermarket before paying for them to give to toddler in trolley. I honestly couldn't understand why people couldn't wait until after they had paid. Now it's anything to get round as quickly as possible without all hell breaking loose.

Sparklingbrook I had those videos too!! Honestly can't believe I put both DD1 and me through them. With next 2 kids it was CBeebies from day 1!

emzw12 · 27/01/2019 15:21

I think I copped out on every single thing possible - except dummy (but that was probably only because DS didn't want it).
I thought I'd be the perfect parent lol!

MeOldChina · 27/01/2019 15:23

I was only going to have normal TV on and Cbeebies would be a last resort when ill or needing distracted.

I was going to have a one in one out toy policy.

Annoyingly DS never liked a dummy as a baby so we managed to dodge that one. People look at me like i'm boasting when i say he never had one. We did try!

Biscuits.

whatsnewchoochoo · 27/01/2019 15:32

Everything. Absolutely bloody everything. I am nothing like the mother I thought I'd be (but probably happier for it)

MaryShelley1818 · 27/01/2019 15:37

I was absolutely adamant I would never ever let DS in our bed. I’ve coslept with him every night since he was born and he was 1 at the beginning of last month!

Screen time...he loves Peppa and Sesames Street.

Bloody beige food...he’s never happier than with a plate of fish fingers and smiley faces 😊

donajimena · 27/01/2019 15:43

MeOld I tried desperately for my eldest to take a dummy. No, he just screamed all day unless I walked him in the pushchair or took him for a drive.

Original poster
m4rdybum · 27/01/2019 15:46

@NannyKasey Bobos in our house is sleep Grin

Dummys are dodis.

OP posts:
Since2016 · 27/01/2019 15:51

Peppa. I held out until DD was about 2.

We never did dummies either until she was >2 and then she randomly decided she wanted one? Same child never took a bottle...

Tbf I did the whole anti screens, anti sugar, anti jars for weaning and although she has more tv now than I would like (38 weeks pregnant) she’s pretty good. So I’d say I stuck to most of it tbf!

We’ll see how the no dummies, EBF, no screens, 100% homemade food, no sugar etc bears out for number 2...

I also thought I’d be a lot stricter than I actually am. DH says I’m a soft touch...

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 27/01/2019 15:58

No dummies past the age of 1
Not too much telly
No phone till secondary school and certainly not an iPhone or similar
No letting children sleep in my bed with me ever
Potty trained well before 3...

I was an idiot.

DS only gave his dummy up last year aged 7 (he has SN and a sleep disorder- I haven’t slept a full night since before I had him)
DS also still gets in my bed with me every night when he’s not stimming up and down the hall in the early hours
Both children love screens of any kind
DD aged 11 has my old iPhone but it’s an iPhone nonetheless.

Like I said, I was an idiot. It didn’t occur to me that any children I had wouldn’t slot straight into my life and do what I wanted them to, just because I’m their mother.

LunaLovesgood · 27/01/2019 16:06

Like a pp I thought I would be quite strict. I would be firm but fair and there would be absolutely no negotiating with a toddler 😂😂

DD is three next month and a master in negotiating an extra 5 minutes before bed. I'm so soft with her it's ridiculous. But so far she's polite and happy and a funny little girl so I think we're doing something right for now

itsbritneybiatches · 27/01/2019 16:15

Screen time on the iPad. She plays a lot of reading and spelling games tbf which are her choice.

Co sleeping. She's five and still in our bed most nights. Wouldn't change it.

Breast feeding - I really didn't want to but changed my mind when she was born and did it for six weeks until I got a cold sore the stopped.

Biancadelriosback · 27/01/2019 16:18

Letting DS play with my phone is the biggest one here. If it means I can have a cuppa/catch up on an episode of something/go to the toilet then he is more than welcome!

Yura · 27/01/2019 17:09

Mine never used a dummy and were exclusively breastfed. big parenting boast - in reality they rejected bottles and dummies ferociously, so we had no choice. They also live vegetables and fruit and dislike chocolate, so i can boast about perfect nutrition. and they don’t sit still in front of TV, so it was pointless.
All in all perfect parenting on the surface, but i’m so jelaous of kids that take a dummy, accept bottles and can be sat in front of the TV! mine are non-stop.

Yura · 27/01/2019 17:13

Oh, they also both rejected anything rheycwere restricted in - carcsears, buggies, jumperoos, bouncers. not a chance. We exclusively used slings. again, not our choice

SimplySteve · 27/01/2019 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cinemalover · 27/01/2019 17:24

I don't have any kids yet but I've said that I'll never stick them in front of a screen, cook healthy meals, avoid junk food, only give them educational toys etc..

I'm sure that will change GrinGrin
(Hopefully not though!!!)

couchparsnip · 27/01/2019 17:29

Everything!
Dummies
Bottle feeding
Screens
Junk food
And I wanted them each to learn an instrument up to grade 8 - both gave up in primary school, having never practiced. So disappointing!

YesitsJacqueline · 27/01/2019 17:32

Oh yes haha , here we go :
Dummies
Formula
Ipad/tv
McDonald's
Co sleeping
Bribery .

Hahaha what a twat I was