To consider having a home birth

[EmUntitled]

DD is nearly 2 and we are TTC number 2.

With DD my labour was really quick - 4 hours from first twinges to birth. 90 minutes from waters breaking. We only just made it to the hospital in time and if it had been rush hour or roadworks I'm sure we wouldn't have got there in time. The car journey was by far the worst part of the whole thing.

As I have heard generally second babies are born quicker, I was considering that a home birth might be the way to go. However I have always thought there was no way a home birth would be for me. Am I mad to even consider it?

@Seline I'm so sorry you experienced that, it sounds awful.

I don't know if there is an option to plan a hospital birth but have midwives on standby for a home birth if it all happens to quickly. Basically I'm concerned that I won't have a choice because there won't be time to get to the hospital (as there almost wasn't last time) so if me and my midwife are prepared for a home birth it will be less stressful than ending up with an unplanned home birth.

I hope that makes sense!?

My first was born in a stand alone midwife only birthing centre a super quick birth like your first in hospital under 15mins until birth. Lovely natural experience no issues
Had same worries about 2nd coming faster but it was a more complicated delivery very medicalised and having seen how fast things can go wrong i would now never have another baby anywhere other than a consultant led delivery suite regardless of how much i enjoyed my first labour i look back in horror at how risky it really was amd how naive i was to think everything runs smoothly in labour and delivery !

Seline neither would I.
I know what that feels like - we nearly lost DS when he went into anaphylactic shock at a few weeks old.
Facing A hospital situation again while in labour makes my blood run cold. I was treated horrendously, like a piece of meat on a slab. I prefer to trust statistics, and my personal risk factors. This pregnancy for example: I’m early 20’s, normal bmi, single pregnancy, 2 previous uncomplicated births, no gestational diabetes, normal iron and hb levels - there is no medical reason that indicates me or my baby need to be in hospital.
The risk of serious complication (like placental abruption) in a low risk pregnancy is there whether you choose to give birth in a high tech fully staffed hospital, or in the middle of a field surrounded by deer.

I had a normal first birth so felt like a home birth was pushed on me for DS2. I went into hospital to be checked as my waters had gone. I was only contracting 4 mins apart but it suddenly all went wrong with a cord prolapse and my cervix was at risk of rupture due to the position DS was in. We had a csection ten minutes later under GA and the consultant said afterwards that had I not been in hospital we both would’ve died and I live ten minutes away.
I feel really angry that had I followed my Midwife’s advice such an awful outcome would’ve happened. Home births might statistically be safe but why on earth would you risk your babies safety. Apologies if this offends anyone but this was all very recent and I am still emotional about what happened.

@Georgie I disagree, I would rather hear both sides of the argument before making a decision

No I said the scaremongering. You can say it’s not for you but telling the Op the child will die if she does is awful.

I found that whilst I was in labour at home I was pretty relaxed and felt in control of the situation. By the time we'd driven to hospital and i had to wait to be seen at the birth centre, my stress levels sky rocketed and the contractions felt so much worse. So I actually can really see the appeal of a home birth as it would avoid going into an alien environment and I think the whole process would feel calmer. That being said I had a complicated 48 hr labour, so I would have had to have been in the hospital. But if I had a fast and straightforward experience like you, then I think I would seriously consider it.

Ok fine. I’ll leave you alone.

The problem with saying, “ignore the statistics that says low risk second and subsequent births are safer at home than in hospital because if you are one of the ones an emergency happens to the stats won’t mean anything” is that you are ignoring the risks of being in the hospital.

If something happens to your baby because you chose to give birth in the hospital at not at home, then the stats won’t mean anything either. Not to mention the worst birthplace option which is of course delivering in a car footwell with no medical professionals, which is mitigated entirely by choosing to give birth at home.

It’s basically a dick move to scaremonger in either direction. OP, it’s your choice. Both home birth and hospital birth are safe options. Not guaranteed- either of them - nothing ever is. But they are both safe, research backed, reasonable choices which are yours and yours alone to make.

I have had 2, the second appeared quickly so DH delivered him. I enjoyed both experiences.

My mother is also a midwife and she had 4 children in hospital. I asked what her opinion was and she said if I was sure I didn't want pain relief then home was the best place for me.

If your labour is fast, perhaps get dh to read the basics of delivery. Not great having to coach DH while I was pushing. It was just

'Shit, it's a head!'
'Yes'
'What do I do?' speed dials maternity unit
Maternity unit: 'You are third in the queue'
'Where are the towels?!'
me pointing to the hand towel
'Stop pushing! His head's out!'
'So catch him!'
'Oh' dc2 rapidly appears and is almost dropped as he's so slippery, blood and fluid all over the floot
Maternity unit: 'You are second in the queue'

We were fine, paramedics came and sat with me until midwife got there, I delivered placenta and was tucked up into bed. DH went to pick up dc1 from nursery and he met him after his nap. Definitely get yours to read up if you choose to stay home.

I’ve had two lovely home births. My 2nd especially was wonderful and very relaxed. My first wasn’t as relaxed (I had no idea what I was doing), but I believe it saved me and my dad from a lot of horrible and unnecessary intervention (fine if it’s needed, horrible and traumatic when it’s just done for the convenience of moving you off the ward). The home birth midwives are fantastic and really experienced and are quite keen to transfer you calmly if any issues come up (which is rare, but reassuring).

OP if the hospital is 15 minutes away from your house it’s unlikely midwives will get from the midwife centre (which is further away?) quicker than that. If things start fast you can just turn up at the hospital, you don’t have to go to the midwife centre.

Well said @Georgie
There are also a lot of unnecessary interventions done on hospital.
My home birth baby would've been considered undeliverable if I'd allowed VEs. If I was in hospital this would've ended in emcs.

He wasn't undeliverable and was born fine at home.
My first was instrumental but in debrief was discovered there wasn't really a need for it to be.

Mumsnet is always very anti hb. There are some wonderful Hb groups on Facebook who have high and low risk stories along with women who choose not to Hb. Far more balanced and less scaremongering and emotive than here.

The birthplace study says it all. You're safer at home

@EmUntitled In my trust you would be advised to book the homebirth for that exact reason and then if you wanted to go into hospital and had time just ring and say that’s what you were doing. You could even call at the first twinge, they could come out and assess you and you could then make the decision. It’s much better for you and the homebirth midwives if you have met and they know about your history, access to your house, parking etc. before the event if they can.

*my dd (I don’t have a dad and he definitely wasn’t present at my birth!).

The risk of serious complication (like placental abruption) in a low risk pregnancy is there whether you choose to give birth in a high tech fully staffed hospital, or in the middle of a field surrounded by deer.

Yes but the outcomes are vastly different! obviously! That’s the whole point.

You can choose a home birth right up until you're in labour. You don't have to make decisions now.

You will probably be fine if your pregnancy is low risk, but there's always a chance things can go very wrong very quickly. You have to decide whether it's a level of risk you're happy with and whether the experience of a home birth is worth the potential outcome.

Of my 3 closest friends who are mothers, one would have been fine having her baby at home. Another would have been fine with her first, but her second would have involved being blue lighted to hospital for an emergency c section (although I don't think it was exceptionally time critical, and I think they would probably have made it to hospital OK if I'm remembering correctly). Another friend's baby would have been fine but she would quite possibly have lost her life (massive PPH, crash surgery performed). As for me, I would have been blue lighted to hospital for an EMCS and I think would have probably lost DD by the time I got there.

So that's five births, all at term, no previous problems, low risk pregnancies and healthy mums. Only two of the births would have been successful homebirths. The others resulting in very real risk to the lives of mother and/or baby. I think it's easy to forget that giving birth is still very dangerous for women and babies, even in 2018.

I have never seen a study that says homebirths are safer than hospital births. I can see the appeal of a homebirth but for me the risk is way too high. If you are one of the unlucky ones, you won't care that there was only XYZ% chance of it happening. Everybody knows at least one woman and/or baby who wouldn't be here without emergency intervention during labour or delivery.

You can say it’s not for you but telling the Op the child will die if she does is awful.

I agree. Good thing no-one said that isn’t it?

I had a homebiirth for my second, and the labour was so quick my husband had to deliver the baby before the midwife arrived. Had I been booked for a hospital birth DD would have been born at the roadside somewhere - I really do think you need to consult your midwife and your partner. In my experience the general public seems to be randomly split between those who think you're insane and those who don't. Most of them (like me) have only their own experience to go on which is usually a grand total of two births. Plus the ones who think you are insane will have the most to say on the subject.

Yes, you can choose to go in to hospital at any point for whatever reason you like. Even if the second your labour starts you change your mind.

I think you need to be really careful here. A lot of people seem to be suggesting that a tricky labour/ delivery is a consequence of a high risk pregnancy and is therefore predictable which just is not necessarily the case. I didn't have a high risk pregnancy but I would have died if I had not been in hospital. I needed intervention in seconds, not 15 minutes, when I started bleeding out after delivery. Thank god an emergency team was poised to run into the delivery suite. You just can't tell what could happen, to you or the baby.

I did not have a good experience at all with the care in hospital, midwife etc and I'm sure a homebirth would be much less stressful but at the end of the day they can preserve your life.

The risk of serious complication (like placental abruption) in a low risk pregnancy is there whether you choose to give birth in a high tech fully staffed hospital, or in the middle of a field surrounded by deer.

Of course it is. However if I'd been in the middle of a field I wouldn't have DD sleeping on my chest right now. That is the difference.

I had home births partly because my first was so fast about 4 half – 5 hours and partly as time on postnatal ward was awful.

MW with first two were very pro HB - and second birth though very quick - taking MW by surprise, and she was struggling to get a second MW there supposed to be two present, but it was a great experience.

Third not so much - we were unlucky my MW was changed to one who was very anti HB.

Endless lies leading to us having to complain – scaremongering and lying about results to try and get pg classed as high risk –(which she was caught out on her manager had prof she got some extra support) – and seek HB support groups out – and then it was supposedly sorted.

Except the third labour was very quick but MW could have got to us very nearby and very quiet Sunday evening roads.

They made no attempt to get to us insisted there was no such thing as rapid labours and lied in notes afterwards caught be debriefing manager and they were arse covering awful when they turned up 40 minutes after birth.

Afterwards was nicer than hospital but scariest moment of our lives having DD2 just DH there so much so we couldn’t face having another child (– which TBH we’re fine with now 3 is enough).

Ironically there was a campaign to increase HB at the time in our area .

We were unlucky but I’d definitely talk to your MW and see how supportive they are likely to be.

There’s nothing like your own shower, your own bed and tea in your favourite mug with your newborn after a Home birth. It is absolute heaven (and no hideous post labour ward). The MWs come and check up on you later the same day, the next day. It’s lovely.

I had the same MW for mine - pure coincidence that she was on call. Wasn’t part of the MW team I was assigned to.

Labour was just lots of pacing around the living room, on the exercise ball, in the bath. Bedroom for delivery. Managed to work delivering around sleeping toddlers.