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AIBU?

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Original poster

How much payment to offer?

68 replies

FriendOfAFriendOfAFriend · 27/01/2019 13:17

Friend is doing me a favour as of Monday by taking my daughter to school each morning. She’s going that way with her own kids. She lives 5 minutes walk from me but will drive to school. Slight detour en route to the school to pick up my daughter so not out of her way per say, however, I want to offer her something by way of payment but wondering what others would consider offering? Is £5 a week to much/little? I can’t offer booze as a thankyou as she doesn’t touch it so I want to offer her money for fuel.

Thoughts??

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 27/01/2019 13:20

Is that 5 days a week? I think £5 is far too little. Maybe £20 a week.

rookiemere · 27/01/2019 13:22

I would say £10 a week would be appropriate - can you walk your DD to hers in the morning so she doesn't have to do the detour ?

Charlie97 · 27/01/2019 13:23

It's a tough one, is she doing it as a favour or to earn a little money?

£20 seems a lot, maybe don't do money but give vouchers or lunch once in a while?

Slothcuddles · 27/01/2019 13:25

If it’s only £5 walk from you, that’s nothing in he car. It would badly make a dent in the fuel she used per week. So I think a token gesture of £5 per week is good. I think £10 would be too much- I wouldn’t accept it would be too high

SpoonBlender · 27/01/2019 13:25

Sounds reasonable to me. "Can I offer you a fiver a week for fuel?" gives her the chance to politely accept or politely turn you down.

Letsmoveondude · 27/01/2019 13:26

Hmm, I’d sort of work it in as half of what breakfast club would cost.
Breakfast club would be £5 a day here (£25) so I’d probably give her £50 a month.

That way it’s definitely fair for each party, they gain out of being helpful to you, and you gain out of their help.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 27/01/2019 13:26

i think offer £10 or 15 I think £5 is too little but £20 too much. Breakfast club here is £4.50 a morning and you would have to get dd there so she's saving you money and inconvenience.

Ellisandra · 27/01/2019 13:26

I would speak to your friend. If it’s a favour, you’ve already agreed it’s not for payment.

But, it’s a big favour.

So I’d say, “I really appreciate this, but I don’t want things to become awkward or for you to feel I’m taking advantage. Would you like petrol money each week? Or about a babysit for you ?”

Make it clear that you are willing to pay or offer favours in return.

All MN could say £10 is a nice gesture but if she’s expecting you to offer £15, that won’t help you!

Puggles123 · 27/01/2019 13:27

If it’s only a small detour £5 is more than reasonable, just maybe reiterate to her that if anything changes or she changes her mind about doing it that she can tell you so she doesn’t feel trapped. It sounds like she is happy to though, and her choice to drive if it’s walkable.

VimFuego101 · 27/01/2019 13:28

I would say 10 - 5 seems too little.

missell88 · 27/01/2019 13:29

I'd say £10 and a bunch of flowers or chocolates.

Babymamamama · 27/01/2019 13:31

£5 is a bit insulting? Maybe ask her what she thinks is fair and if she declines I would instead buy her regular thankyou gifts. I used to look after my friend's little one quite regularly. I didn't want any payment but the mum sometimes bought me posh hand creams, biscuits or whatever at random times which was really really nice.

Snappedandfarted2019 · 27/01/2019 13:32

£5 is insulting its a pound a day

PopCakes · 27/01/2019 13:33

Could you offer her favours in kind (Eg a date night while you babysit or something). As a friend I wouldn't feel comfortable taking money (although she might he OK with it which is fine obviously). If you're going for money £5-10 is fine.

Original poster
FriendOfAFriendOfAFriend · 27/01/2019 13:39

Is that 5 days a week?

Yes

doing it as a favour or to earn a little money?

A favour, she won’t expect me to give her anything.

Thanks for all replies, I’ll talk to her tonight about it all.

OP posts:
Original poster
FriendOfAFriendOfAFriend · 27/01/2019 13:40

£5 is insulting its a pound a day

That’s what I thought tbh.

OP posts:
petmad · 27/01/2019 13:53

compromise walk you daughter to her house so no detour however small but offer petrol money or a small gift anyway.

Juells · 27/01/2019 13:57

I'd walk the DD to her house as well, and wait outside until she was ready to go. Not have her detouring to pick another child up, and not imposing on her household early in the morning when she's getting ready to leave. Make everything easy for her, she's doing you a favour.

userschmoozer · 27/01/2019 14:04

What can you afford? How about you find out where she does her main shop and buy her £20 a month voucher?

Starlight456 · 27/01/2019 14:05

Is this a long term thing ?

Could you offer to collect ? Something helpful.

I would also put in their to trial it and can pull out at any time

FrogFairy · 27/01/2019 14:08

I think £10 per week is about right.

It is not only about covering petrol but acknowledging that she is going out of her way to help you.

Ethel36 · 27/01/2019 14:18

I think £10 is perfect. It's to cover both fuel and her time.

Original poster
FriendOfAFriendOfAFriend · 27/01/2019 14:33

It is not only about covering petrol but acknowledging that she is going out of her way to help you

This is exactly it.

I think I’m going to offer £10 a week and go from there.

OP posts:
pollyname · 27/01/2019 14:41

I would find it hard (a bit demeaning really) to accept money (I take a friend to school and recently had someone, not a friend, ask me to take their child as well). Could you periodically give her a petrol voucher? I would have found that easier to accept x

Waveysnail · 27/01/2019 14:41

£10 a week and just give it to her Monday. If she refuses to take it you could save it and give it to her as gift voucher every 6 months - mum does this with friend who does her hair