How much payment to offer?

[FriendOfAFriendOfAFriend]

Friend is doing me a favour as of Monday by taking my daughter to school each morning. She’s going that way with her own kids. She lives 5 minutes walk from me but will drive to school. Slight detour en route to the school to pick up my daughter so not out of her way per say, however, I want to offer her something by way of payment but wondering what others would consider offering? Is £5 a week to much/little? I can’t offer booze as a thankyou as she doesn’t touch it so I want to offer her money for fuel.

Thoughts??

I wouldn't say no to some really indulgent skin care stuff such as Liz Earle every now and again, I'd never buy it myself. A sleepover for her child so your friend can have a night out? Something for her child? A hamper of luxury foods?

I agree that I wouldn't take any money off you, if I were helping you out like this, as a friend. It's not money that it is costing her really, it is time (and commitment - what happens if her dd is ill for example?). I would be quite upset if you though so little of my friendship that you insisted on paying me for it. Somehow worse as it is such a small amount, IYSWIM?
But I do think you should insist upon something like babysitting for her one night a month (for a late night) or one night a week (for a class or choir or badminton or something), or offering her something that you can do for her - so maybe , if you are a baker, a lovely cake every now and then, or something. You do need to acknowledge the commitment and how much it is helping you, but I don't think money is the way forward.
Maybe a cinema voucher with the offer of babysitting attached, once a month ??

Thanks for all responses; some excellent suggestions as an alternative to cash.

My friend brings my children home from school every day. In return I have her three girls every inset day for the full school hours.
I still feel I get the better end of the deal 😊

I agree with buying her a present to say thank you, not a payment. A long time ago my mum looked after a family’s children during the summer holidays and refused payment, they bought her a microwave. Sounds ridiculous now but it was the best unexpected gift she could have received and all for doing something selfless

I looked after my friend's little boy for an hour a three mornings a week as a favour. I loved having him so wouldn't dream of accepting payment. She used to give me a voucher for Sainsbury's every so often or fill my car up with petrol. I'm not sure if this is correct but when she did offer to pay me something each week I was told it classed as working as a child minder which I was not registered for. Also, payment in kind is the same if a regular thing so I asked her to only do it on the odd occasion.

£5 a week is the worst of both worlds for her. Removes the warm glow of doing a favour for a friend while simultaneously hardly being worth having. If you go with cash then £50 a month would be more reasonable.

Personally though I would offer to have her DC (possibly overnight) at half term or something so she can have a night out or get a more significant gift of attraction tickets / cinema voucher at half term.

I say around £10 a month too - given monthly or half-termly then it's a good amount towards filling up the car/freezer or paying her hairstylist. And don't offer, as she'll undoubtedly refuse - give cash, in an envelope with a firm "I want you to have this, I really appreciate what your doing for me and this is just a little something towards covering your petrol and personal costs of helping me. Thank you." I do the same for another mum who does me a similar favour. When I offered she refused, but this way works for us.

Oops meant £10 a WEEK, not month!

I think you should do a trade. Once a mo th tell her you will have them on a Saturday afternoon, so she has some free time...

Thanks everyone. So many great ideas. The only one that won’t work is having her kids for her as between us there are 9 so that’s not practical but I have some really great ideas here.

I think in this situation as she's your friend, don't offer her anything, just give her a tenner a week or £40 at the end of the month, because if you offer she will most likely feel she has to refuse. I did pick ups after school for another mum a few times a while ago, it included having her child for 2 hours and giving him his tea. She didn't give me so much as a Christmas card. Which obviously makes me reluctant to do it again because any show of appreciation is nice.

The only one that won’t work is having her kids for her as between us there are 9

Does she drive a bus?!

I would go with £15 a week and if she doesn’t accept it, put it on a card (Tesco etc) and leave it in her house next time you’re round.

Does she drive a bus?!

No lol no bus!! 😂

I've stopped a similar arrangement when I was taking my daughter's friend to school. She was a lovely girl but felt a little taken advantage of as I didn't even get a Christmas card, never mind a bottle of wine! I wouldn't ask her - I would just give it to her - £10 a week is a fair amount I think. If she declines it, but her a voucher or something each month, or maybe a meal out voucher and the offer to babysit.

My childminder charges £5 per day for a school drop off in the mornings.
I wouldn’t pay a friend a Childminder’s rate but maybe £5 a week is a bit low. £10 sounds a bit better xx

So many great ideas. The only one that won’t work is having her kids for her as between us there are 9 so that’s not practical
Lol the friend that I have the arrangement with has 7 And I have 4 of my own. 😂

I think giving her cash weekly seems a bit demeaning. It sort of takes away a bit of the joy of doing something for a friend. It's nice to do a favour expecting nothing in return.

I'd say much better all round to unexpectedly give her a voucher/gift every six months / year or just every now and again as a thank you. That way when she does get something it's as decent amount and it doesn't sully the joy of doing a favour.