No screens in the bedroom

[Fridaysgirl]

I've stuck completely to this rule so far. Kids are now 10 and 12.
They do have their own "playroom" downstairs- where they have a TV, PlayStation and Nintendo, an old laptop for homework etc and tablets are kept here too (so I can keep an eye on what they are doing).
I really believe that their bedrooms should be electronic free zones and even made sure the WiFi signal doesn't reach that far.
My oldest is now telling me AIBU but I want to stick to my guns. They can have electronics (and I think they are very lucky in what they have) just not in their bedrooms.

Does everyone have a kitchen table?

The kitchen table?!

How confortable for kids wanting to kick back after a day of school /hobbies.

Yes that as well Why.

Kids can and do self regulate. Overly restricting stuff makes them want it more and less likely to self regulate.

The kitchen table in our house isn't a quiet space.

Dinner being cooked there, and we have a second TV there, so DH is often to be found watching Match of the Day there.

No really quiet space downstairs as it isn't big enough. There are four bedrooms upstairs though, for homework etc.

Mine have all screens in bedrooms. Consoles the lot. They need to learn self regulation and do. I don’t feel the need to control but if you do and it works for you then fine.

My experience says differently Streetwise but each to their own.

It's not the screens. It's the cameras.

They'll be dancing in their pants for an audience before you know it.

The issue with thr playroom is the sharing, who gets what. Personally I'd didn't have an issue, although with one child, my daughter has thr play room to herself and never spent time in her room, but with more than one kid I get they like alone time.

I'd permit it and just set a time limit and remove devices ie by ten o clock or whatever.

I never allowed DS to have a TV or the PlayStation in his room but I fought a losing battle with his phone. I'm not a hypocrite, DH & I have never had a TV in the bedroom & we never take our phones to bed. From around 16 DS has had trouble off & on sleeping & obviously when he was at Uni I couldn't 'police' him. He is now in his first graduate job, in a house where he has no WiFi in his bedroom. He reluctantly told me recently that I was right all along - no more sleep problems.

No phones in rooms overnight, the teen has zero self control so surrenders it willingly when she heads to bed. There are televisions, but the walls are paper thin so I know nobody is watching anything at 3AM. Moderation.

I think that's what you have to consider. If you know that your DC will be up all night on their screen and gadgets absolutely put some rules in place.

But some DC are quite able to police themselves.

There comes a point when your teens have to be able to manage their own screen use. Draconian rules don't teach that and create resentment.
I think it's your job as a parent to teach them how to do something rather than preventing them from doing it, this applies from crossing the road to using the internet.

Kids can and do self regulate. Overly restricting stuff makes them want it more and less likely to self regulate

And if they don't? Are parents supposed to sit back and allow it?
If a child is refusing to come off a game or having a meltdown because he is addicted then someone has to do something.
There isn't a problem if a child self regulates but in reality and especially in a younger child, often, they don't or can't.

My sister in law has a no screens upstairs rule she has 3 boys- 12, 8 and 7 she said best rule she ever did when moved house.

It’s your house and your choice -

Sounds like they have quite a lush playroom and living space- this one rule is not going to be too detrimental.

So what time @linlou do the 3 boys go to bed. I have already asked this and nobody has answered. If the oldest one wants to watch a film or play a game not suitable for the younger ones, how late does he have to stay up in order to do so?

We allow DS1 to have his school laptop in his room (this is work only and gets checked so no games on it, but of course he can watch YouTube etc). All personal devices are downstairs only. DS2 age 12 is begging for a phone but we only let DS have one at 14, an old one of his dad's! We've been told we're mean but they do heron line, just where I can see it!

Heron! Wtf auto correct, heron is a whole different ball game!

Adults don’t self regulate so I wouldn’t expect a child to.
I’d limit it to the sitting room and kitchen and no where else.
Secretively in their rooms is when the bullying/sexting/accessing dodgy sites starts.

@sweeneytoddsrazor they are not my kids so I do not really know!

When they are here the 7 year old goes up roughly 7.30 the 8 year old about half hour later and older child about 9pm but I don’t know home routines. They are all happy with the arrangement tho and the boys enjoy reading books so the older one may do that- again not my children.

But for the OP they have a playroom so when younger ones have gone to bed older one can have the playroom until bed time. Bed time is bedtime so all she is doing is getting ready and going to bed- why would she be watching a movie when it’s bed time?

SistersResisting yes, the limits you suggest would work. The OP is fortunate enough to be able to have a downstairs room for her kids to use for homework, activities and screens so can easily enforce a physical segregation in that way. Few people have a house large enough for that.

I hate dealing with exhausted students who have been up all night whether it is texting friends, playing games, or watching movies. The lack of sleep is not good for their health or learning.

That’s the first issue - lack of sleep. The second issue is screen time - blue light from screens disrupts melatonin production and delta brainwaves so the brain doesn’t full rest and process which is important for young people still learning. The third issue is what they might see or do on screen.

There are many ways parents can deal with those issues. No screens in the bedroom is just one of them.