No screens in the bedroom

[Fridaysgirl]

I've stuck completely to this rule so far. Kids are now 10 and 12.
They do have their own "playroom" downstairs- where they have a TV, PlayStation and Nintendo, an old laptop for homework etc and tablets are kept here too (so I can keep an eye on what they are doing).
I really believe that their bedrooms should be electronic free zones and even made sure the WiFi signal doesn't reach that far.
My oldest is now telling me AIBU but I want to stick to my guns. They can have electronics (and I think they are very lucky in what they have) just not in their bedrooms.

I think reading for enjoyment suffers the most. Mine certainly opt for screen over books. The youngest, who at 11 is too young for screens in her bedroom by my rules, is the only one who reads voluntarily at bedtime. I think that’s a shame. They were all readers before.

I dont think that screens in bedrooms suddenly equals no boundaries whatsoever. I dont see how playing a game on a saturday morning upstairs v downstairs makes any difference to sleep if you instigate a screens off an hour or so before bedtime rule.
You can still have lots of parental controls and monitor what they are doing by popping in and taking an interest and blocking certain games etc.

It's just upstairs they are not allowed devices. I want them to sleep well and yes have a sanctuary away from the pressures of social media. How is that controlling?

I am a foster carer. When one of the children reached the age of 11 and went to senior school, their social worker insisted they were to have internet access in their bedrooms (phone/ipad/laptop). So I had to comply and obviously allow the older ones to have it too.

I just switch the wi fi off at 10pm. Mine are 14 and 12. Thats the rule. (I switch it back on at 10.15 so me and DH can watch Netflix but DC are none the wiser xxx

Utterly, utterly unreasonable. Deeply controlling. Storing up trouble for the future

Oh give over!!
OP's kids aren't deprived. They have a room for devices. So basically, if you have any rules your kids don't like, you are storing up trouble for the future? Absolute nonsense.
There has been research that recommends no electronic devices in the bedroom.
Also, I suppose all kids must have these devices whether their parents can afford them or not just to save storing up trouble for the future?
Never fails to amaze me how far some parents will bend over backwards to stop a tantrum.

We don’t have a extra room and for reasons my DD6 has a smart tv to watch Netflix / YouTube etc on and DVDs in her room, a Nintendo switch, tablet and iPod touch in her room.

If you have no screens in the bedroom and have children of different ages how do you monitor what they are watching? How strict are you for example on a film with a 12 rating if you have a 13 yo and a 10yo. If the 13yo has to wait for the 10yo to go to bed what time is the 13yo staying up until?

My kids aren't allowed phones in bedrooms at bedtime until they are older. 12yo hates having to hand me his laptop and phone at bedtime but he would be tempted to stay up rather than go to sleep.

Is the chill out room for both boys? My kids enjoy space away from their siblings so a shared chill out room wouldn't work. They also listen to lots of music and it's easier for them to use their phone than buy a separate device.

I don't think it's controlling. All the advice from health professionals in regard to sleeping advises no screens in bedrooms or for an hour before sleep.

I have two older boys, 17 and 19 and they have TVs, consoles, phones etc in their rooms.

My younger children - two boys, 5 and 10 - have no tv, no console etc in their room. It's a sanctuary. They do have access to tablets and portable DVD players and when they go on these they're absolutely allowed to have them in their rooms.. but it is strictly motioned time wise. My older boy has ASD with a PDA profile and his behaviour escalates unbelievably when he's in co tact with technology of any sort.

My 12 year old daughter is allowed on her phone in her room when she comes to stay but has no console or anything.

My 8 year old girl follows the same rules as my younger boys.

Usually this means no technology during a school week and only allowed on the weekends. It works for us.

I think you're being perfectly reasonable given your kids have their chill out space and everything they need there.

How do I police it? Screens only three days a week in the bedroom, the other four are reading and music nights. Xbox/tablet/switch is limited to an hour on a weeknight. If TV is chosen, it goes off at 8:30. Easy.

Also, he wouldn't DARE to go behind my back and watch things he isn't supposed to. I can check what has been watched as he only had access to Netflix, and I can see the history of his YouTube account as I'm logged in on my phone.

He knows any funny business and I'll remove his devices, so he doesn't bother.

YABU, sounds like you are trying to raise your children in the middle ages. WiFi in the bedroom is an essential utility for teenagers.

WiFi in the bedroom is an essential utility for teenagers

In the house, yes. In the bedroom? Not so much.

Don't your kids do homework in their bedroom? Lots of homework is set online.

At lot of people don’t seem to have much trust in young people or respect for their privacy.

Authoritarians always do tend to dress it up as “I’m doing what’s best for you.”

Will come back to bite these people.

Making people hand over their phones and laptops etc at a set time? Run your childrens’ home like a prison and you’ll see the back of them as soon as they can get away.

My DC have phones in their rooms but no tvs or consoles, it works fine, I don't have a TV in my room so we're all equal, they can watch what they want downstairs as I don't really watch TV and play on there consoles when they want.

No need to give in to peer pressure if you aren't happy imo

Disagree Streetwise.

Kids aren’t great at self-regulating - they need guidance and teaching. Maturity doesn’t happen over night.

Mine are a bit older - It is now their responsibility. 16 they got TVs, 14 they were allowed phones in their rooms. With that came an expectation that they were responsible for themselves, their sleep, their use of devices.

My youngest still doesn’t have screens in her room. It’s absolutely not a problem. She plugs it in downstairs, gets into bed and reads a book. She’d be on her phone watching slime videos otherwise.

I know I’m going to sound like Mrs Smugpants here but I’ve never had to limit screens and internet with my dc.
They all have managed to self regulate.
Yes, they used it for watching shite but they also used it for educational purposes.
Haven’t come a cropper so far

Meant to add that it’s entirely up to you. Every kid is different and it’s good to set boundaries if you feel they are necessary

I actually don’t see a problem with not wanting TVs or consoles in their bedrooms at their ages, but you’ve said they have a laptop for homework in that room as well? Does this mean you wouldn’t allow one of them to take the laptop upstairs to do homework if the other one is watching tv/playing a game and the noise is distracting? That seems a bit unreasonable, I know some kids do homework in front of the tv but to not have the option to take it somewhere quieter seems odd, and particularly as they get older it doesn’t seem workable really.
Do you see this as a permanent rule, or one which will gradually be relaxed as they get older?

You’ve got to give them their space
They have that. It’s in the playroom.

Screens aren’t harmful. The most recent research from Oxford University shows that fairly clearly
Umm, that’s not quite what they said. Have you read the study, or just the tabloid headline? Like everything it is about moderation. The screen may not in itself be harmful, but what is done with that screen and for how long can lead to harm. Tech in bedrooms can lead to a lack of sleep. That’s why it should be limited.

DD won’t be having screens in her room. She will eventually have a TV in her playroom and uses a laptop / tablet for homework and games.

but to not have the option to take it somewhere quieter seems odd

That’s what the kitchen table is for.

Making people hand over their phones and laptops etc at a set time? Run your childrens’ home like a prison and you’ll see the back of them as soon as they can get away.

People on diets may not have chocolate/booze in the house. Not having electronics in the bedroom at bedtime is so that they aren't tempted to stay up all night. #1 is too old for this rule, #2 is excellent at self regulating while #3 wouldn't be able to resist falling asleep while watching YouTube,

• but to not have the option to take it somewhere quieter seems odd

That’s what the kitchen table is for.*

Do the kids have to do homework at different times or when nobody's cooking or tidying in the kitchen then?

My kids all have desks in their rooms.

No screens in the bedrooms in our house, and the adults