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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for help with managing the bane of my life that is Fortnite?

87 replies

Fortshite · 26/01/2019 21:24

Ds 10yo has recently been allowed to play Fortnite.

Quite frankly it has turned him into an arsehole overnight, I thought the fucking minecraft phase was bad.

I already limit games console significantly. It's not allowed on week nights, it's generally limited on the weekend to a couple of hours in the morning, then an hour or so some time later in the day, that's if we're home all day. We don't have televisions upstairs so he can't just take over the lounge all day anyway.

One day on it today and he sounds like a friggin addict, begging to go back on it, trying to get us out of the room so that he can play, he's moody, he's irritable, he's aggressive, he's being lazy. He's not usually like this at all.

He's currently upstairs having spent 5 minutes sobbing and chasing me around the house begging to be allowed on it tomorrow because I said that he wasn't allowed to play on it after all the behaviour today.

I don't want to ban it altogether because I know his friends play too, but I can't bear the way it makes him.

OP posts:
TillyMint81 · 26/01/2019 21:34

Sounds awful, poor kid that it affects him in this way. I think if it's doing this much damage he needs to have your help to step away from it. Maybe weekends only? He is old enough to understand that his behaviour means he has lost his game? X

Intohellbutstayingstrong · 26/01/2019 21:36

Get rid of it. Why on earth did you get it in the first place?

ballsdeep · 26/01/2019 21:36

Mine is exactly the same
Whinging all the time when we ask him to get off it, turning into an ungrateful sod when I we are going somewhere nice, like the cinema, because he doesn't want to get off it.
I have limited it to weekends but I am seriously thinking about banning it

Intohellbutstayingstrong · 26/01/2019 21:37

Isn't he underage for it to?

Waveysnail · 26/01/2019 21:37

Id ban it but I don't allow ds 10 to online game

ILoveMaxiBondi · 26/01/2019 21:38

Get rid of it. I did (got rid of the whole console) and it has improved our home so much.

namechangedtoday15 · 26/01/2019 21:41

We banned it completely for DS (13) for about 3 months when we thought it was negatively impacting his behaviour. He really knuckled down to school work afterwards etc so he is now allowed to play for 2 hours on a Friday after school and then 1 hour on either Saturday and Sunday. And if he asks for more, it's a straight No every single time.

Original poster
Fortshite · 26/01/2019 21:46

Why on earth did you get it in the first place?

Well I will answer that, a few reasons. He had wanted to play it for a while, most of his friends play it, dh and I had a go of the game ourselves first and it seemed ok (imo).

It's easy to say just don't get it but peer pressure is a big thing at his age.

OP posts:
Intohellbutstayingstrong · 26/01/2019 21:55

@Fortshite Perhaps if you had done a bit of research around all the lunacy that seems to follow Fortnite around then you may have decided against it. I'm not sure peer pressure is a reason. You are the parent surely. Just get rid of it. Problem solved.

Original poster
Fortshite · 26/01/2019 21:55

I do feel guilty because he obviously can't cope with it which is understandable. Yet now it will feel like the end of the world to take it off him.

OP posts:
Intohellbutstayingstrong · 26/01/2019 21:56

Google Fortnite addiction...... very worrying

Original poster
Fortshite · 26/01/2019 21:58

Intohell that's not really helpful but thanks all the same.

I asked for advice not judgement, there's no use saying why did you do it when it's already been done.

I'm asking for advice from people who have dealt with similar.

OP posts:
BackBoiler · 26/01/2019 22:00

He will get bored of it very soon believe me!

GlitterStick · 26/01/2019 22:04

Do not even get me started on that fucking game.
I hear ya. Turns mine into arseholes too.
Let the youngest on recently (11) and absolute nightmare. Personality change overnight. Wish I was kidding.
Fuckers banned for the forseeable, as whenever I ban and let back on after a week or so and give him the benefit of the doubt, week of lovely behaviour, straight back to square one!
Never a problem with any other games. Grrr.

bellabasset · 26/01/2019 22:05

A local school has recently advised parents about 5 pupils being groomed and it's been on community fb pages.

Just be aware as these under 11's were being threatened.

Intohellbutstayingstrong · 26/01/2019 22:05

I'm not judging you at all. I'm just surprised you didn't at least find out a bit more about it before you bought it for him. I would suggest you get rid of it because it sounds like he is already in a mess about it. You clearly dont want to because you dont want to upset him. I would suggest you do some research. There is huge amount online about the issues linked to this game and also lots of advice

namechangedtoday15 · 26/01/2019 22:06

OP as above, we've let our DS go back on it after doing lots of research and yes, to a certain extent because a few of his friends play. I think it's a case of knowing your son and establishing ground rules. I have to say it's been widely criticised at my other DCs primary school and I think 10 is perhaps too young. Or could you perhaps text the parents of his friends and agree a 1hr slot where they all play, but that's it for the week?

LL83 · 26/01/2019 22:10

My DD is the same. We have been very strict with one hour on a Saturday morning if she has behaved through the week. We are more flexi with other games but she knows not to ask for more on fortnight or it will be reduced/stopped.

MildlyMiserable · 26/01/2019 22:10

At least Minecraft had some educational tools - learning about gemstones etc, Fortnite has me baffled.
My 15 YO is addicted 5 mins in, time limits don’t seem to work - unplugging the TV does 😊

Original poster
Fortshite · 26/01/2019 22:14

I was aware that it can be addictive and so on, I've read and heard the horror stories, but because his games time is quite limited I suppose I thought it would be more manageable, I mean believe me his friends are on it A LOT more, lord knows what they're parents think.

I wondered if anyone had found ways to manage it without banning it altogether.

I'm not afraid to ban it if that's what needs to be done, but even before he had it it was a problem, it's a social thing for them.

OP posts:
teaorwine · 26/01/2019 22:17

Ds plays it, and has struggled massively going off it at times, including crying, arguing and slamming doors. We knew the issues in advance however given it was all his friends talked about we agreed to download it. He gets 20-30 mins four days a week, have had bans, but found they didn’t help. The game is designed to be addictive and talking to him about that over a period of time has helped, as he’s gotten a little older (now 11) and understands that and is getting better at learning to regulate himself. Agree with trying to establish an agreement with other parents even if it’s just a few of his friends.

artisanscotcheggs · 26/01/2019 22:29

Honestly the only effective way to deal with this is to rip the plaster off in one go. I'd take it away entirely, it's only going to get worse. There are plenty of other things to do.

Beamur · 26/01/2019 22:35

I think for some kids it is hugely compulsive and many parents know exactly what you're going through.
My advice is to have a serious chat with your DS and lay down the rules. How long it will be allowed for and that if he goes through all this whining and complaining then it will simply go for good. And mean it.

geekone · 26/01/2019 22:39

I don’t get this i really don’t think it’s the game. I don’t know what but my DS9 plays fortnite talks to his friend and he is allowed 30’kins a day and 2 hours at the weekend and he comes off it sometimes before his time is even up.
He does a lot of other stuff though today he had football and cycled 8k on a dog walk tomorrow he will have 3 separate hours of football. We also played with his scelextric and HP trivial pursuit.
Does your DS do other things to keep his mind and body active?

ballsdeep · 26/01/2019 22:44

Yes geek tone, mine does.
Mine goes to. Football for three hours on a Saturday, walks, swimming, cinema trips, cycling and board games but he keeps going back to it. So yes, you can behave like this even if you have an active. Body and mind

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