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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stupid Neighour Disowned Cat.

202 replies

tararabumdeay · 26/01/2019 17:47

He's been an outdoor cat for so long. A fella that sits on car bonnets to keep warm as soon as we pull up. He's 19 and obviously good at looking out for himself to last that long since she chucked him out for weeing and pooping in the house about 10 years ago.

He's nervous, but when it was cold my son managed to entice him to a warm place on the telephone table in the hall.

She's now stopped feeding him (outside) because she's assumed that he's our cat now and we've got no cat food. If I wanted a cat I'd not chose a 19 year old one but he's a little life that deserves respect.

What the hell can I give him? We're non meat eaters but have a tin of salmon. I can't see him cold and hungry.

I've never had a pet/animal apart from a fish that died when I was watching the 'Golden Shot' when I was 5.

The AIBU is why should I pay for cat food because neighbour has taken umbrage or sees an opportunity to save a couple of quid a week?

I can't afford it either as not yet met Mr Micawber's definition of Happiness.

Cat has just scoffed half an Aldi burger - that can't be good for him. Aldi burger is DHs choice of lunch. I'd kick him DH out in the cold for that if I could.

OP posts:
BlueKarou · 04/02/2019 13:01

OP, why don't you just call the Cats' Protection people? Tell them a stray cat has come in your house (If he was chucked out 10 years back then I'm pretty sure he counts as stray now) and can they take him away? All this letting him in and kicking him out is a little cruel.

You don't want someone else's elderly cat, that's absolutely fine, just don't invite him in and feed him!

sweetkitty · 04/02/2019 19:47

Totally agree phone Cats Protection so he at least has the chance of a happy end to his life.

Post a note through the owners door

Dear Neighbour

Your old cat had been coming into our house for food and shelter. We don’t want a cat but don’t want the poor old thing to be neglected. We are going to phone CP to come and get him so he had the chance of a nice warm home for the rest of his life (or something like that).

0valtine · 04/02/2019 20:25

I came here to say post a letter through neighbours door too.

SabineUndine · 04/02/2019 20:56

Get a litter tray from Wilkos or a pet shop for about 3 quid and put a small amount of cat litter in, that way it's contained if he needs a poo while he's indoors.

And give him plenty of cuddles, it sounds as though he needs a few.

Harebellmeadow · 04/02/2019 21:04

Oh please keep looking after him you are banking karma for your son please dont laugh me out-- dont call cat protection they will put him down, and he has survived so long, let him live. He is yours now. Wont live mich longer, a few years at most is max lifespan. Omelette, buttery potatoes, chicken soup, even the burger is fine in an emergency. The burger is probably more nutritious than actual cat food so no need to kick your DH into the snow. Kind of him to share his lunch - should get huge brownie points for that. All the best for your new family member.

Reflexella · 04/02/2019 21:09

I’m wondering if this is my cat.
He howls to go out even in Siberian temps.
They are really good at looking sad & hungry. Have you never read six dinner Sid?

Banjax · 04/02/2019 21:20

honest to god OP, he's been sitting outside for "years" and you've not spoken to the neighbours now he's in you house??? How about you get off your bloody phone and speak to the neighbors instead of a bunch of strangers?

longwayoff · 05/02/2019 07:03

OP must have a bet going with a friend on how long she can string along a bunch of cat lovers, all saying much the same thing. Or she has a very boring life.

WunderBlah · 05/02/2019 11:26

Agreed.

Reflexella if this is your cat then your neighbours are certifiable.

Original poster
tararabumdeay · 06/02/2019 18:27

Cat still here but enjoying playing out now it's warmer in the day at the moment. Neighbour didn't feed it today though; she usually leaves a bowl of dried stuff outside. So we fed him half a pouch and yes, another half a burger (just meat not processed).

Thought about rescue and re-homing but this street is his home and has been for 15 years.

I will not put notes through doors as it's too PA. My relationship with neighbour used to be close but things have changed. If I see her we'll talk but the house is battened down with a figurative 'Do not Disturb' sign when I get back from work. I know how that feels because it's what I want to do some days.

We've managed to monitor the poops, since the smelly one the other day, by listening for scratching early in the mornings but that won't always be possible - I do turn off my alarm at the weekends.

DS describes the 'phone table as just another car bonnet.

Do stop having a pop though please; there's a touch of gray regarding this issue but we/he will survive.

OP posts:
minkies11 · 06/02/2019 18:29

I think you're doing the right thing - can't imagine he'd like being in a rescue centre after being an outdoor boy for so long and may never be rehomed. And I bet he loves having the odd burger!

longwayoff · 06/02/2019 19:43

You said she stopped feeding him ten years ago. Now she usually leaves some dried food out. Do keep up with yourself.

Original poster
tararabumdeay · 07/02/2019 00:43

"You said she stopped feeding him ten years ago."

Did I? Where?

Whatever, your comment is not helpful.

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 07/02/2019 09:32

You did actually say she stopped feeding him 10 years ago

KittensAndCake · 07/02/2019 09:53

So she does feed him? 🤔

Oh well let him in when it's cold and treat him to the odd burger and he'll be fine living his final months/years in the street that's his home.

KittensAndCake · 07/02/2019 10:00

Did I? Where?

Erm, yes you did say she'd stopped feeding him.....

She's now stopped feeding him (outside) because she's assumed that he's our cat now and we've got no cat food.

And here...

He's abandoned by his 'owner' because she's grumpy he's sitting by our radiator. She made a point of not feeding him.

🤔

Original poster
tararabumdeay · 07/02/2019 20:06

Ah, context! Not stopped feeding 10 years ago but recently as the poor soul has trusted us to come into the warmth and she, perhaps, looks at it like we'll just take over.

Also for context she's nicked my parking space of 20 years. Now it's a parking and a cat one! She asked nicely if she could park there and I said no. She's done it anyway.

And, and. She's just posted a picture a a cute ginger cat not wanting to get up in the morning and likening it to her and her fiance - who is six years older than her son.

I want to post this picture on FB but I'm not going to. Picture was found on the web but looks so similar. I shall leave the picture of the telephone table in my hall with a ginger cat sleeping there next to the radiator to your imagination

Stupid Neighour Disowned Cat.
OP posts:
sweetkitty · 07/02/2019 22:59

I don’t get this at all maybe it’s just me Confused

WhatTheNightBrings · 07/02/2019 23:18

She's just posted a picture a a cute ginger cat not wanting to get up in the morning and likening it to her and her fiance - who is six years older than her son.

She's just posted where?

Catzpyjamas · 07/02/2019 23:37

OP, you have done a great thing looking after this old boy. However, I think you now have a decision to make - are you prepared to take him on permanently or does he go to a shelter?
If you put him back out on his patch, he's going to keep coming back to you for food and warmth. Are you prepared to take on his veterinary care? Would your neighbour agree to pay vet bills?
(If he is going to be a long term guest, please provide him with a litter tray. All the best hotels are en suite. Wink )

Treble9 · 07/02/2019 23:41

You people feed your cats such shit. The cheap stuff is full of crap a cat is not designed to eat.

BerylStreep · 08/02/2019 11:03

Do you actually own the parking space? If so, you should enforce that. If not, then it's not really yours to nick.

It is clear that you really dislike this woman. The age of her fiancé is none of your concern.

You've basically nicked her cat, yet you are trying to blame it on her that she has stopped feeding it. Well of course she has, the cat is in your house.

Also, lots of cats are not like dogs that will ask to be let out to go to the loo. If you are keeping it inside then you need to provide a litter tray.

steppemum · 08/02/2019 11:18

OP - the cat may well have decided to come indoors because he is getting too old. My Grandparents were adopted by a sweet cat who was elderly. The vet thought she had been living wild vor years, but coudln't manage the hunting/cold night any more and had adopted my grandparents.

But that probably means he is not veyr well too. That is going to cost a fortune in vet's bills.

As to toileting, I am very surprised he is pooing inside. I suggest you feed him in the mornings, and then within half and hour kick him outside for half and hour, or more. Do the same after every meal.

He has no concept of asking to be let out, he may try and get out, but after 19 years, he does not associate asking you with the loo

viccat · 08/02/2019 11:29

The cat needs to see a vet. Cats in their late teens are very, very likely to have various health issues (kidney disease, hyperthyroidism, arthritis, bad teeth, to name a few) and if he's spending all his time hunched on your little table and seems incontinent (from what you describe) he's probably not feeling too well...

Contact a local rescue to ask if they can help with a vet check up at least? Old cats don't usually just die peacefully in their sleep and euthanasia is sometimes the kindest thing.

sweetkitty · 09/02/2019 15:58

I was thinking OP why don’t you just go over and talk to your neighbour about the poor cat? Would save all of this.