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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stupid Neighour Disowned Cat.

202 replies

tararabumdeay · 26/01/2019 17:47

He's been an outdoor cat for so long. A fella that sits on car bonnets to keep warm as soon as we pull up. He's 19 and obviously good at looking out for himself to last that long since she chucked him out for weeing and pooping in the house about 10 years ago.

He's nervous, but when it was cold my son managed to entice him to a warm place on the telephone table in the hall.

She's now stopped feeding him (outside) because she's assumed that he's our cat now and we've got no cat food. If I wanted a cat I'd not chose a 19 year old one but he's a little life that deserves respect.

What the hell can I give him? We're non meat eaters but have a tin of salmon. I can't see him cold and hungry.

I've never had a pet/animal apart from a fish that died when I was watching the 'Golden Shot' when I was 5.

The AIBU is why should I pay for cat food because neighbour has taken umbrage or sees an opportunity to save a couple of quid a week?

I can't afford it either as not yet met Mr Micawber's definition of Happiness.

Cat has just scoffed half an Aldi burger - that can't be good for him. Aldi burger is DHs choice of lunch. I'd kick him DH out in the cold for that if I could.

OP posts:
Original poster
tararabumdeay · 26/01/2019 23:16

I have tried to help Herbie in the cold of winter for years before now. He's only just got the confidence to come inside the last few weeks. Before that he's been left out freezing.

I have not nicked him. I'm trying to comfort him in his last months/years. He's abandoned by his 'owner' because she's grumpy he's sitting by our radiator. She made a point of not feeding him.

OP posts:
KittensAndCake · 26/01/2019 23:20

Keep the cat he has been sifting on car bonnets to keep warm the poor guy....

To be fair my cats do this, even though they have a lovely warm bed at home. Some cats do prefer being out.

Why would she suddenly stop feeding him? Maybe the old boy's diet has changed so she doesn't feed him outside in case another cat eats it?
Seems strange that he has survived for 10 years on the streets 🤔

Oh well OP, congratulations on your new cat 😉

53rdWay · 26/01/2019 23:21

Has the neighbour actually said this to you though?

EnteratA · 26/01/2019 23:25

WunderBlah Cat would not get to 19 and have all his teeth well enough to eat a burger if it had been outside with no attention for ten years, it would have gone long ago

WRONG. Eating a burger is not an indicator for teeth. My cat is 18, does not have a tooth in his head and he pinched a leftover homemade inch thick burger about a month ago. He ate it no problem.

WunderBlah · 26/01/2019 23:30

Ok!

OP has the cat got teeth?

When did you speak to the cat's owner last? Ever?

EnteratA · 26/01/2019 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LadyBathory · 26/01/2019 23:33

You can give him egg and fish with rice.

Singlenotsingle · 26/01/2019 23:35

A burger is just minced meat and cereal. Not difficult to eat.

BerylStreep · 26/01/2019 23:55

I think you need to have an explicit conversation with your neighbour. You have been very vague on the thread as to the exact nature of the contact to date.

My DSis' neighbour insisted on feeding her cat, even though she repeatedly asked her not too. Finally, in exasperation, she said to the neighbour that she could keep the cat, so long as it was clear DSis would no longer be responsible for vets fees or food. Could this be what is happening?

Conversely, my neighbour bloody well tried to steal my beautiful burmese cat, and had concocted a tale of neglect in their heads to justify their actions. Angry They continually fed her despite me asking them not to and she would come back stinking of perfume. Angry

If this cat has been an outdoor cat for the last 10 years, I can't see the urgency in dealing with it tonight. Why has the neighbour told you that she assumes it is your cat now? It sounds like she is really pissed off with your actions. My DM had outdoor cats for years and they were well cared for and had shelter. Could that be what is happening?

Original poster
tararabumdeay · 26/01/2019 23:59

I am not a troll if indeed that was mentioned above. It's pissing down outside and I just opened the door. It took 3 seconds for cat to come in. He's gaining confidence being here. Next door neighbour's door is 1 metre away but she's stopped leaving food out for him.

It's been five days since the cold weather and cat is now, it seems, inventing a new life for itself.

OP posts:
GalacticChickenShit · 27/01/2019 00:02

But HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO THE NEIGHBOUR?

Ucangourownwoo · 27/01/2019 00:09

Go and knock on her sodding door in the morning. The internet can't help you figure out what's going on in her head. Get a grip and have a conversation!

EnteratA · 27/01/2019 00:20

I am not a troll
OP It was not directed at you but one of the hostile posters preceding Smile.

BlueEyedBengal · 27/01/2019 00:23

Speak to the neighbour she has a responsibility for this poor old man. You are very kind but myself as a cat owner of many years can tell you once you feed them then you will have a furry friend that won't go home . So you need to remind her it's her cat and she has to feed him.

Teapot1984 · 27/01/2019 00:32

I'd personally contact the RSPCA as your neighbour has essentially booted out a very elderly cat with no food or shelter save for the kindness of a neighbour.Its probably not the cost of cat food your neighbour wants to skimp on it's most likely the vet bills that elderly pets could
potentially rack up.Your neighbour is a dick,thank you for being a decent person and looking after the poor cat.

Maelstrop · 27/01/2019 00:33

Go and knock on her sodding door in the morning. The internet can't help you figure out what's going on in her head. Get a grip and have a conversation!

This and omg, you say she's grumpy because he's sitting by your radiator, wtaf? Your kid enticed him in, you haven't actually bothered speaking to the neighbour and you haven't got him proper food yet. Make your ruddy mind up!

Original poster
tararabumdeay · 28/01/2019 00:06

Cat is still here. Bought cat food. Cat eaten it. Neighbour is aware of this.

I don't want her cat. It's already ruined my antique telephone table by sitting on it so long.

Plus, it sits there so long I worry about it getting bored. If the cat comes in should I be entertaining it and making sure its flippin' five basic needs are being addressed?

I/we did not coerce this cat. We offered it warmth. NOW we're buying it food and saying hello. It's allowed to display its nature/space in that we ask if it wants to go out or come in (more like it tells us). It's been five days out of 19 years.

What about my basic needs? I do not want a cat, fish, tamagochi, sea monkeys, bees, slime aliens, worms, ants or stick insects - though I would never harm any.

OP posts:
TheEntertainerr · 28/01/2019 00:30

There's not much that can be done. Either you let the neighbour get on with it or you take him in. I don't think the RSPCA would do anything, as he's don't being mistreated as such.

Please don't give him rich food such as red meat, dairy is no good for cats, and cats milk is akin to fizzy drinks. Water to drink, white fish/chicken boiled with rice until soft. I adopted a 17yr old cat and in less than a week ended up at the vets with gastroenteritis because the food I'd been giving her was too rich. Or get the senior cat food which is fish/white meat.

longwayoff · 28/01/2019 07:31

Witless.

Weenurse · 28/01/2019 07:38

Looks for local shelter or RSPCA. Our local one does do euthanasia o healthy animals, so some have long, happy lives there.

LEMtheoriginal · 28/01/2019 07:45

Thing is, that cat will get sick at some point - then what?

53rdWay · 28/01/2019 07:46

You’ll struggle getting any shelter to take a cat when you can’t say whether or not its owners have abandoned it, tbh.

“hello RSPCA, my neighbours didn’t want this cat.”
“Did they tell you that?”
“I fed it a burger, they’re not feeding it.”
“Did they say this to you?”
“It’s sat by my radiator and my neighbour is grumpy with me.”
“So have the neighbours given it to you? No? Yes?”
“It’s ruined my antique telephone table.”

jollyoldsoul · 28/01/2019 07:55

Put the cat back outside.
For someone who doesn't want a cat, you've gone massively out of your way to obtain one.

flumpybear · 28/01/2019 07:55

Poor little mite - at 19 he'll struggle to find and kill his
Own food, my much loved very good hunter died at 19 and she couldn't have caught a cold when she was thst age. Moggie food isn't expensive, give him warmth, put an old towel on your telephone table and let him enjoy his last days. You're a super star for helping him ✨⭐️🌟💫

Vinorosso74 · 28/01/2019 07:56

I know hindsight is wonderful but the poor cat should have been rehomed when he was first booted outside at age 10!
Cats Protection may be able to help-they won't PTS because he's old but may if it turns out he has serious health issues which impact on his quality of life.
Whereabouts in the country are you? Lots of smaller rescues are also no kill so people may know of somewhere.
I agree you do need to speak to neighbour too.