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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stupid Neighour Disowned Cat.

202 replies

tararabumdeay · 26/01/2019 17:47

He's been an outdoor cat for so long. A fella that sits on car bonnets to keep warm as soon as we pull up. He's 19 and obviously good at looking out for himself to last that long since she chucked him out for weeing and pooping in the house about 10 years ago.

He's nervous, but when it was cold my son managed to entice him to a warm place on the telephone table in the hall.

She's now stopped feeding him (outside) because she's assumed that he's our cat now and we've got no cat food. If I wanted a cat I'd not chose a 19 year old one but he's a little life that deserves respect.

What the hell can I give him? We're non meat eaters but have a tin of salmon. I can't see him cold and hungry.

I've never had a pet/animal apart from a fish that died when I was watching the 'Golden Shot' when I was 5.

The AIBU is why should I pay for cat food because neighbour has taken umbrage or sees an opportunity to save a couple of quid a week?

I can't afford it either as not yet met Mr Micawber's definition of Happiness.

Cat has just scoffed half an Aldi burger - that can't be good for him. Aldi burger is DHs choice of lunch. I'd kick him DH out in the cold for that if I could.

OP posts:
WunderBlah · 26/01/2019 19:12

So did you ask permission from his owner?

Original poster
tararabumdeay · 26/01/2019 19:22

Owner chucked him out years ago. She once had an Alsatian who lived in a cage in the garden even in the winter; sent pet rabbits on a journey to the hills.

I am not the pariah here.

Cat is warm an comfortable on my telephone table in the hall. I'm just worried, never having more than a fish when I was 5, what I can feed him.

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 26/01/2019 19:36

Any meat is good, but you shouldn’t have let your child entice the cat in if you didn’t want to be lumbered with feeding him. I’m not sure I get what you’re saying. At first you’re like ‘not my cat, why should I feed it’ but now you seem to have decided we’ve persuaded you to look after/keep him? If the neighbour doesn’t care, you can pop him to a charity if you don’t want to keep him. A 19 year old cat is unlikely to live much longer and may have veterinary issues.

WunderBlah · 26/01/2019 19:36

Some dogs do live outside and become accustomed so indoors is too hot for them.

You had to coax someone else's cat into your house is the worry. You are saying you have no idea about animals and seem unwilling to just have a chat with the owner as advised by other owners.

One of my neighbours decided my cat was neglected because he was outside and took him indoors. They made no effort to talk to me first and refused to answer the door to discuss. He escaped and came home as soon as he could. He was extremely ill because they fed him the wrong food and he has a set diet.

DareDevil223 · 26/01/2019 19:46

Cats are practically wild animals

What utter bollocks...

OP if you can't be bothered to buy a bit of cat food for the poor old creature then call Cat Protection or similar. An old cat like that dererves some comfort in his late years.

norbert23 · 26/01/2019 19:50

If he's not being looked after by neighbours your local cats protection will help. I think a burger over salmon is probably wise as it might be too rich for him. You're doing the right thing by taking him in. I looked after some semi feral cats who had been dumped and then were very wary of people, which might explain why he's had to be coaxed inside. All ended up very happy house cats and I think this one deserves some comfort in his old age x

ThunderStorms · 26/01/2019 19:54

You must feed him some cat food. He needs taurine otherwise he'll get ill. This is added to complete cat foods - you don't need to pay much.

Cats are practically wild animals. It doesn't really do them any harm to be outside although it would be nice for an old cat to be in.

Ignorant comment. If you’ve ever spent time in a rescue, you’d see how poor the strays are. They can survive outside, but they don’t always thrive. Surviving can be miserable.

Feral cats are not the same as stray pets (or abandoned ones). Even they struggle in the winter.

Original poster
tararabumdeay · 26/01/2019 19:59

It's not that I can't be bothered; I was not prepared.

I am now being implicated in this old cat's final times. I did not chose that. My neighbour has abdicated all responsibility due to us giving him a warm place to sleep because we're soft. Cat wouldn't come in previous years when it was snowing and freezing. He's here now and I'm keeping the heating on longer than normal for him.

OP posts:
norbert23 · 26/01/2019 20:00

You're being extremely kind x

JohnCRaven · 26/01/2019 20:04

How can you be sure she's not feeding him OP? If he's been an outdoor cat for 10 years.

53rdWay · 26/01/2019 20:05

So has your neighbour actually said to you, "I will not feed this cat any more, this cat is now your problem"?

EnteratA · 26/01/2019 20:06

Thunderstorms is right. He MUST have cat food long term. Cats can't be veggie. They can't have dog food which doesn't have taurine. A PP mentioned vets bills. Having cats that lived to 17 19 and 21 I know this to be true. Long terms meds are not cheap. But if keeping him is not a long term option then Cats Protection is your best route. At 19 his days will be numbered living out. I think you've made his ownership status clear and you just want to do the right thing by him. Smile

ExFury · 26/01/2019 20:07

Have you spoken to your neighbour?

One of my cats practically lives outside no matter what the weather despite having access to a cat flap and a permanently open window. One of my neighbours is convinced I’m an evil harridan who has abandoned him. Fuck knows how many times they’ve grabbed him and taken him into their house, but he bolts the next day after they’ve given him salmon or chicken. He does the exact same with an elderly lady in the next street. Yet he’s fed, defleaed, wormed and has his jabs updated every year. He’s got a bed that he occasionally kips in.

Talk to your neighbour before claiming her cat.

KitKat1985 · 26/01/2019 20:08

For what it's worth OP I think you are being very lovely. A small burger won't do him any harm as an occasional thing.

Do you have any shops that open late this evening? Some supermarket branded cat food won't be too expensive. You probably need a can or two a day.

twiglet · 26/01/2019 20:08

The tinned salmon he will love you can mix it with some cooked (and cooled) rice. Will also give a more substantial meal for him.

I would call RSPCA if you don't wish to keep him. His rehome chances are very low but he will be warm and fed as long as his health is OK. He may be put to sleep if not.

Your neighbour should be banned for keeping animals!

toddlepod · 26/01/2019 20:09

You're being kind, generous and compassionate to an old cat. Give him somewhere comfy he can sleep - an old throw? - he's out of the cold and wet and all he needs is a couple of sachets a day and maybe some tidbits. I do hope you can continue to look after him, poor old soul.

EnteratA · 26/01/2019 20:12

Just a thought. Check the aldiburger ingredients to make sure no onion before you feed him any more. Onion is not good for cats.

CSIblonde · 26/01/2019 20:13

Sliced ham, tuna, chicken, salmon are all fine. A big box of go cat is £2 & last 2weeks for me. My tabby girl won't eat anything else. She was next doors but they never fed her or flea treated so last year when it was - 3 & she was out all night in the snow, she became mine for good. If you don't want him, call RSPCA. Poor baby.

Dumbie · 26/01/2019 20:14

Rspca are rubbish unless they can get on the news.

Nothing better than cat food or a special raw diet. A tin of fish will do for the evening though, but pop to the shops tomorrow for anything tbh.

Otherwise, try cat chat for local small rescues. There are a few that specialise in old cats like goldies oldies. The smaller rescues really do care, and you can check to see if they are a no kill rescue

Amallamard · 26/01/2019 20:14

Has the neighbour actually said they aren't feeding the cat?

Ozzie9523 · 26/01/2019 20:15

You’re being kind OP, poor old thing. How can people be so cruel. Own brand cat food is very cheap. Or phone a local shelter. Xx

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 26/01/2019 20:16

for goodness sake stop berating this OP

she brought the cat in OUT OF THE COLD to help the poor creature, a cat who seems not to have a real home or shelter. She's not enticing him in for the sake of badness.

and ime if cats want to eat a burger they will, or a tin of salmon. and a couple of meals of non approved food is not going to plummet any stray into taurine deficiency over the weekend

If you want to help I'd get a small shelter set up, cats are very resilient and if he is used to being outside he'll probably have quite a lot of personal bolt holes, you could make a nice shelter for him somewhere as a pp already said...maybe a cosy blanket and a couple of dishes
He may set up home with you , he may prefer his outdoors life with a few side benefits.

Salmon for tonight, water to drink and basic cat food from somewhere if you want to keep him around.
Keep an eye on him learn his ways and approach the cats protection if you decide you can't get anymore involved. They may speak to next door and remind her of her responsibilities

RainbowBriteRules · 26/01/2019 20:17

You’ve basically stolen this woman’s cat Shock.

EnteratA · 26/01/2019 20:17

Please don't choose RSPCA. For an old cat Cats Protection may very well fund meds. The branch vollies will be involved with local fund raising for special needs cats even is they are fostered.

Ozzie9523 · 26/01/2019 20:17

I’ve got loads of cat food which my lot won’t eat - are you in Essex by any chance OP?