The smoking granny!!

[Aprilshowersarecomingsoon]

Dd has a new friend, lovely girl. Dd started secondary school and has clicked with this girl. All good. Tf (the friend) has a horse at her dgm's farm and invited dd last week. Over the moon, dropped dd at Tf's house for dgm to collect. Dgm drove them back.
And smoked the entire journey. About 30 mins.
Dd invited to sleep at Tf's last night. Apparently the dm smokes in the house. Dd melt down as I said sorry no.
Invited Tf to sleep here instead.
Dd invited to the farm again.
I dropped her off then awaited a message to pick up...
The dgm brought her back. No notice it was time for me to set off, dd had not known the plan. Smoke again.
How can I be assetive without being rude?
Can't have dd around full on smokers!

With the greatest of respect a 12 year old isn't competent enough to assess the risk and then take the right action to keep herself safe.

I have been a ponymad 12 year old. If someone had offered me a ride on a feral thorobred stallion I would have taken it. And at 12 I had helped for 2 years at a riding school. And unless she has owned or loaned or ridden every day since she was 3 she won't be a good rider. She might be a competent novice but that's all.

It's very exciting finding horsey friends, even more so when they have their own and are willing to share but it can honestly end in tears. Either go with her and supervise, arrange an instructor to pop over and assess accept that the risk isn't the passive smoking it's the ponies and especially if it's an actual working farm rather than just a stables.

I actually never said dd would be riding.
It hasn't been mentioned yet, she is happy mucking out, grooming etc. Time will tell and I would be speaking to the dgm then for sure.