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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is buying siblings out ot of an inherited property a fair thing to do?

94 replies

Stormypaige · 26/01/2019 16:02

This is hypothetical. I've never bought a house, I don't know how it works so sorry if this is a stupid question.
and hopefully this situation is many years in the future.

When my dad passes away (hopefully many years from now) his house will be left to us four siblings. I am the only one of us that might realistically be able to afford it as my career with hopefully be paying well by then. I love my childhood home and would hate to lose it. Is it fair to get the house valued and buy siblings out? Or would they likely feel aggrieved that they hadn't had the opportunity of putting it on the market and getting a potentially higher price? If it's an inheritance, is selling the fairest way to do it?

OP posts:
WhoPooped · 26/01/2019 16:38

*Over the years as the property massively increased in value there was a tendency to think they had made the wrong decision.

But if they'd sold it to a non-family member, the same would have happened. As long as market value is paid I can't see the problem*

Yes that’s the logical and realistic view... however they may not see it that way with their sibling and try and pressure them into handing over more money

RomanyRoots · 26/01/2019 16:41

I was going to buy out my sibling, but decided against it in the end, but it's fine if you offer the same as would have got on the open market.

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 26/01/2019 16:45

Definitely not crass, death is part of life, don't come to out house we often discuss who might get what and who is getting the crap, my mother has already started tidying cupboards out to save us a job and she's only 66.

Back to the OP it makes sense for a family member to buy it, saves on estate agent fees, as long as everyone is happy with that and the valuation then all the better. Hopefully care home fees won't eat it away first.

Roussette · 26/01/2019 16:49

Only I'm more your DM's age than you and I don't want to leave my children a mess (which my DPs did to us). So I get the tidying out cupboards thing.

However, if my children were talking about what they were going to do with our house whilst (hopefully) we still have a lot of living to do, I would think it very odd to be honest.

And I'm not one to keep things to myself. They can ask me anything they want about our finances, money, wills whatever. But please don't speculate on buying the house we live in yet!

Besides which, what's the rush? No one can do anything. You can't get your siblings to agree to anything because nothing is fixed. Life has a tendency to throw a curved ball at you when you're least expecting it

amusedbush · 26/01/2019 16:51

DH is inheriting half of his granny’s house, the other half is his uncle’s (granny’s son). We are going to take the house and have agreed with his uncle that we will have it valued and pay half of the market value.

If he didn’t want us to take it then it would have gone on the market to be sold but that would likely take longer and incur fees. Swings and roundabouts.

EmeraldShamrock · 26/01/2019 17:00

Yes it is fair to buy them out. I am in a similar situation, 1 of 4 DC. The others already own their own home and have done well in life, we have agreed when the time comes if I am in a position to buy it, it will be sold for 150,000, I would leave myour share in the property to reduce the mortgage. It is worth 240 approx, they would each getime 50,0000. If I am not in a position to buy it, it will be sold at market value and we will get 55,000 instead I really hope I am in a position to buy it

EmeraldShamrock · 26/01/2019 17:03

My DM has early dementia and wanted to discuss this. I think it secretly kills her I am not in secure housing.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 26/01/2019 17:04

No reason why you couldn’t do it if everyone was in agreement. However are you sure none of your siblings feel the same way about the house? And if you bought it, wouldn’t you want to change things and make it your own?

Have a good think about why you want this particular house. It might not meet your needs by the time it’s available to you.

Fortybingowings · 26/01/2019 17:06

Don't assume that you won't have debts to pay too. Even if he owns the house outright, it's likely that he might incur care fees at some point. Therefore you would have to cover that from house equity before you and the siblings decide what to do.
The house would also need to be valued at market rate before you buy it, as others have pointed out above.

FullOfJellyBeans · 26/01/2019 17:10

I wouldn't have a problem with that. You have it valued by two estate agents and based on that agree between you a price for the house. You'd be saving them solicitor's fees, estate agent fees and the general hassle involved in selling a house (buyer pulls out etc) so as long as they agreed price is reasonable they would probably be fine with it.

Haisuli · 26/01/2019 17:12

My mum.was talking about this the other day. When her dad died she was the only.one out of all four siblings that could have afforded to buy the others out. She could have done it up and rented or sold it, but they decided together to sell it as it was. She says she never regretted it as she didn't profit at the others' expense and there was no bad feeling . Sounded sensible to me

TeacupDrama · 26/01/2019 17:17

you can't auction it and bid as you can't bid on anything you have an interest in as it could be seen as shill bidding to force price u

so if it went to auction she actually could not bid on it

Lifeofsmiley · 26/01/2019 17:19

I’m never one to shy away from talking about death, wills , inheritance etc but this does feel crass to me to be considering this just now when you say it will be many years in the future.

Roussette · 26/01/2019 17:22

I'd love to know how old the OP and her Dad is

Littleraindrop15 · 26/01/2019 17:23

What if another sibling wants to buy it?

Think it's worth discussing this as the four of you

Atalune · 26/01/2019 17:24

Stop entertaining this idea!

How utterly crass and morbid.

EmeraldShamrock · 26/01/2019 17:26

My dad's sister, my aunt the eldest moved straight into my Nan s house, there was lots of bitterness but no body challenged her. She has since passed and one of her adult children now lives in the house.

paintinmyhairAgain · 26/01/2019 17:28

if i had ANY idea my dc were thinking about this when i could be on the planet another possible 40 years, i'd be releasing equity and bloody well spending it on a comfortable retirement !

mintbiscuit · 26/01/2019 17:30

My Dad did this when my Nan died and bought my aunt out. Ended up falling out with his sister. Money can bring out the worst in people. Bear that in mind.

Babyroobs · 26/01/2019 17:32

My fil died a few years ago and the house was on the market and not selling. My sil eventually bought it, it was valued by 3 different estate agents first. Thank goodness she did buy it when she did as the London property market has dropped quite a bit since and it just wasn't shifting.

paintinmyhairAgain · 26/01/2019 17:32

how old is your df op out of curiosity ?

fancynancyclancy · 26/01/2019 17:33

my cousin did this, had 3 valuations took the middle option & looked at sold prices. Siblings were happy as the house still stayed in the family & less fees to pay.

A friend is thinking of doing this as her father died a few yrs ago & the property has been on the market for a year & struggling to sell. Her sibling lives abroad & just wants the cash sooner rather than later.

paintinmyhairAgain · 26/01/2019 17:37

and more to the point where is op ? maybe they have realised how selfish and u they are, df aware of this idea ? not doubt he'll be thrilled that there are so many random strangers advising her how to get her mitts on the property / cash !

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 26/01/2019 17:39

It's financially fair so long as you pay the market value (and you'd have to pay IHTax on the real value even if you agreed a lower price with siblings)
It would need discussion though, it wouldn't be "fair" if it upset your siblings for some reason.

Doubletrouble99 · 26/01/2019 17:41

Rousette - what an odd attitude! Really just typifies all that's wrong with the British attitude to death and making plans etc. Far too many people don't like to talk about this which is just silly. I am in my late 60s and certainly would have no problem at all with my children thinking of the future and discussing what might happen when I die. Would be particularly keen on them running it past me too to be honest but that depends on the family dynamic really.