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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is buying siblings out ot of an inherited property a fair thing to do?

94 replies

Stormypaige · 26/01/2019 16:02

This is hypothetical. I've never bought a house, I don't know how it works so sorry if this is a stupid question.
and hopefully this situation is many years in the future.

When my dad passes away (hopefully many years from now) his house will be left to us four siblings. I am the only one of us that might realistically be able to afford it as my career with hopefully be paying well by then. I love my childhood home and would hate to lose it. Is it fair to get the house valued and buy siblings out? Or would they likely feel aggrieved that they hadn't had the opportunity of putting it on the market and getting a potentially higher price? If it's an inheritance, is selling the fairest way to do it?

OP posts:
2019hereicome · 26/01/2019 16:04

I think if everyone is happy for you to buy them out that’s fine. But I think if they disagree then it should be put on the market and split.

WhoPooped · 26/01/2019 16:06

It’s fair as long as:

  1. You ask if they mind... they might be happier to keep it in the family than to see strangers living in it
  2. You get an unbiased market valuation done and offer them the same as they would get if sold to someone else

If any of your siblings are unhappy with this then it’s not fair to do

llangennith · 26/01/2019 16:07

You get it valued by two or more estate agents and, based on that, agree between you on what it's worth.

StillRunningWithScissors · 26/01/2019 16:09

If they were all in agreement, and you used a valuation to determine the price, I can't see the issue.

Just because a house is valued at a certain price, it doesn't guarantee that it will exceed or acheive that price. It may not sell for ages, while costing you all money.

I'd say approach them all (not now obviously), and see what they say.

Sirzy · 26/01/2019 16:10

If you buy it for market value then realistically that would probably be more than he selling price would be.

However none of us can say really because it’s for you and your siblings to discuss when the time time comes. A lot could change between now and then

CanYouHearThePeopleSing · 26/01/2019 16:10

My BIL bought his brother (DH) out of their parents' house. We had estate agent valuations done and went with the middle valuation. I'm sure I read at the time that you need to sell at a sensible market value (may have something to do with the value of the estate for inheritance tax, I can't remember).

Hwory · 26/01/2019 16:10

Tbf I wouldn’t be happy to sell the family home to one of my sibilings at a lower rate then we would get on the open market.

I also wouldn’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched. Most people have to sell the family home for care home fees or sell to move to a retirement property.

Stillme1 · 26/01/2019 16:13

Even if the decision is that the house has to go up for sale you are still entitled to make an offer.
It depends on your finances. If you are able to provide the full sales price then fine. If your finances will only run to three quarters of the price of the house it could still be workable because you will be refunded your own one quarter share shortly after purchase. Some lenders might be willing to take this into consideration.

chockaholic72 · 26/01/2019 16:13

I did it. My brother and I were left a do-er upper that my dad had bought and moved into before he died. My brother didn't want to live there, we put it on the market but it didn't sell, and eventually I suggested buying it off him. We had it valued for probate previously, so we used that as the value. Still living in it, doing it up bit by bit. It wasn't my family home, but I am very happy here, and it wasn't too stressful.

Neverunderfed · 26/01/2019 16:14

My dh bought his brothers out of an inherited property. They got it valued by three agents and averaged it out.

flowery · 26/01/2019 16:14

Whether your siblings consider it “fair” or not might depend how much you offer them for it!

But I agree with pp- best assume it will never happen, as it’s entirely likely the house will need to be sold to pay care home fees before then anyway.

ImNotKitten · 26/01/2019 16:15

All depends on your family dynamics. Do you think they’d object?

Personally I’d rather a sentimental property stay with a sibling even if it meant selling it for slightly less that it was worth but money does do strange things to people.

ivykaty44 · 26/01/2019 16:18

Auction the house on the public market and whoever wants it most will bid high enough

Grandadwasthatyou · 26/01/2019 16:20

One of my dsis bought my late DM's house. We got it valued by 3 different estate agents and took the average over the 3.
We saved money because naturally there were no estate agents to pay.
It's strange though because she changed nothing, right down to the ornaments, and even years down the line now it's weird going to visit as if my Dm is still there.

Isleepinahedgefund · 26/01/2019 16:22

If there are potentially going to be four owners, it's easiest to sell and divide the proceeds. If you buy it or someone else buys it makes no difference - a hassle free sale is always the best option. So long as it's at fair market value it's no problem.

Roussette · 26/01/2019 16:22

Hmmm. We are older, have adult DCs, and I would be a mixture of shocked/mortified/upset if I thought any of my children were thinking through buying out their siblings on our house whilst we were still very much alive.

Isn't it crass to be thinking of this now?

Roussette · 26/01/2019 16:25

FWIW my brother did this. He bought me and my siblings out of the house my parents lived in.

However, they had both died and we were sorting out their estate/Wills when he floated the idea. It never entered any of our heads to think about it whilst they were alive and living in the house

jackio2205 · 26/01/2019 16:28

So this is difficult, because although you'd pay them their fair share, your buying what was their childhood home too, it's not just a property, so i'd have a think about what that might mean going forward, will they feel that they can have a say over ur house, comment on any changes you make etc, will they want to come over at all? It's not right, but doesn't mean they might not feel it, i'd think about this carefully OP xxx

KateAdiesEarrings · 26/01/2019 16:28

You shouldn't assume an open market sale would bring a higher price. They're unlikely to discount it for you. As PPs said, they'd get valuations and then agree a price. Realistically that's just as likely to end up being more than they'd get on the open market, as it is to be less.

landoflostcontent · 26/01/2019 16:31

I have seen this situation more than once. In one case the other siblings were happy for big brother to buy them out. Over the years as the property massively increased in value there was a tendency to think they had made the wrong decision.

In the other case the sibling who had lived in the family house and cared for their parent until they died was (in the will) given first refusal to buy the others out. Again the other siblings were quite happy but didn't quite understand it wasn't their family home anymore and would just wander in when passing. This did not go down well with the new owner.

Just a couple of ideas to think about

AWishForWingsThatWork · 26/01/2019 16:31

It isn't crass to be thinking of what death of loved ones might bring/result in IF you agree that is sensible for people to discuss and plan for their own deaths (wills, insurance, guardianship of minor children, etc).

As long as you realise that circumstances and relationships may likely have changed a great deal by the time these events actually take place...

SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/01/2019 16:34

Over the years as the property massively increased in value there was a tendency to think they had made the wrong decision.

But if they'd sold it to a non-family member, the same would have happened. As long as market value is paid I can't see the problem.

AcrossthePond55 · 26/01/2019 16:34

I don't see a problem with it as long as it's all done within the settling of the estate and handled by an independent solicitor if the executor is one of the heirs.

My cousins (sort of) went through this. Cousin 1 told Cousin 2 a year before their mother died (she was ill and had severe dementia) that he would like to have the house instead of his full share of the 'cash' assets. She was fine with it as long as it was all above board with multiple evaluations, lawyer involved etc. By the time Auntie died, he'd changed his mind so they sold the house and split the money.

FevertreeLight · 26/01/2019 16:34

2nd property stamp duty?

Roussette · 26/01/2019 16:37

If you have planned accordingly, i.e. made wills, covered Inheritance Tax if there is any, etc etc there really is no need for adult children to be working out what they are going to do with your house whilst you are still living in it!

The OP says hopefully it will be many years away, if so, why try to sort out what you might do years in the future? It's insulting to the still living parents, and quite frankly sounds grabby.

Now... it's different if you become infirm or have to move to sheltered accommodation, or go and be cared for somewhere - then conversations maybe need to be had.