Upset by comments from mother - aibu?

[TheSubtleKnifeAndFork]

I gave birth (second baby, if that's relevant) early on Wednesday morning. Saw my DM and DF on Wednesday afternoon. My mum
walks into the room and the first thing she said to me was "Do you still have another baby in there?" and when I responded (can actually remember what I said something like "oh, that's nice mum" in sarcastic tone) she went on "it doesn't look like you're tightening up very quickly, is everything OK?"...

AIBU to be upset by this? My MIL was there and seemed quite shocked, but I didn't want to make a big deal and spoil grandparents meeting baby for the first time. It's playing on my mind that she felt the need to be so cruel, even though I know there isn't anything wrong with me or my post partum body.

First of all - congrats on your new arrival

And second of all I’m sorry she said that. Can’t believe she didn’t congratulate you or saying anything about your little one! Age must have really fucked up priorities. Is she always like this?

*she not age

What a bellend

What a stupid, mean thing to say.

Wow. Does she have form for trying to upset you? Maybe next time you see her you could ask if she thinks she's getting dementia. No? Well it certainly seems like you've forgotten how to behave in normal society.

I'm sorry she spoiled what should have been a lovely moment. Congratulations on your new baby. 6 weeks is just for your internal uterus to contract, and it takes much longer for your full stomach to come back in. Your mum is just too old to remember.

😡
Is your Mum usually horrible?
Congratulations on your baby. I hope your Mum realised that she was unkind and offered to put a load of washing on, push the hoover round, cook dinner and clear away and put some home made ready meals in the freezer.

I think "Fuck off" is the phrase you are looking for.

Congrats on your baby

Congratulations!

That's awful. Is she usually so unpleasant?

Ask her if she is being deliberately vile or if it is an accident. Her response should be interesting. Anyone who tries to body shame a woman who has just given birth is a bastard.

Has she always been so nasty?!

Tell her to close the door on the way out.

I'm betting she has a habit of comments like this. What a thing to say to anyone, but to her daughter who has just done the amazing thing of birthing a human! Bitch.

My niece (then 8) looked at me suspiciously after DS1's birth and asked me if I was still pregnant. Of course, she was a child so that's different.

Does she have a habit of thoughtlessly blurting stupid things out, or does she have form for being deliberately mean?

My mum said similar (she's very nasty at times).
How is your relationship in general? It does sound quite nasty. All I can say is her intention wasn't one of love and admiration was it?

Distance yourself from her. Not forever but let her know you won't tolerate it

My mum said the same to me after my second.
We were on the way out of the NICU where we’d just visited my son, born early due to me having life threatening pre-eclampsia and him and I having endured a most traumatic delivery and few hours following. No ‘he was lovely’ or ‘how are you doing’. We were outside the lifts and my adult sister jumped in and tackled it for me.
I’m pretty thick skinned and I’m ok with my body’s changes, and my new normal. And I certainly never expected myself to bounce back two days after birth. Turns out mum wasn’t coping well with her own issues at the time but I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

Bloody hell OP. That is harsh in any circumstance but just after having a baby and giving her a new grandchild. What a horrible thing to say. Is she always this horrible to you.

Congrats btw

She let everyone know just how nasty she was. I'm glad your MIL was there - she'll see what you have to deal with.

Congratulations!!

What a thoughtless and ridiculous thing to say?!

Try to ignore it. Some people say stupid things sometimes. It was clearly a bonkers comment. Is she says something horrible again, pick her up on it immediately though.

And huge congratulations, too!

Does she have form for this?

Congrats on your little one

A different POV.. On first impressions it sounded like your mum was being nasty but after you said what you said I think she may have just been a bit concerned. She told you why she said it and then asked you if everything was alright..

This is exactly the sort of thing my mum would say. She's 70 now and as entirely thoughtless as you can imagine! Her mouth engages much before brain and she's always told me she'll worry about me first, grandbabies second.

Maybe your mum was just a bit worried about you and didn't take the time to think over whether her words would cause you upset?

I hope so, it would be mean otherwise and that's not very nice at all. Either way, don't let it get to you.

Enjoy those newborn snuggles - I bet your baby is beautiful, OP

To be honest I’d have stooped low and commented on her wrinkles or something! Petty but it would make me feel better!

I had this from an aunt (she does have dementia now). I know how you feel it really upset me. Congratulations and don’t let it spoil your lovely news 💐

My fil did exactly the same. And then gave me regular updates on my stomach size as the days and weeks passed. In front of whoever else was visiting.

King of dicks.

Sarcasm is all well and good, but I've always found a straight down the line "that's a really unkind thing to say." followed by a hard stare and pause for a response, is much more effective an approach. They can't laugh or shrug that one off.

My mum wasn't the best but even she wouldn't have been so bloody rude and thoughtless. That was a nasty thing to say and you should call her out on it.