Upset by comments from mother - aibu?

[TheSubtleKnifeAndFork]

I gave birth (second baby, if that's relevant) early on Wednesday morning. Saw my DM and DF on Wednesday afternoon. My mum
walks into the room and the first thing she said to me was "Do you still have another baby in there?" and when I responded (can actually remember what I said something like "oh, that's nice mum" in sarcastic tone) she went on "it doesn't look like you're tightening up very quickly, is everything OK?"...

AIBU to be upset by this? My MIL was there and seemed quite shocked, but I didn't want to make a big deal and spoil grandparents meeting baby for the first time. It's playing on my mind that she felt the need to be so cruel, even though I know there isn't anything wrong with me or my post partum body.

Congratulations OP!

I’m sorry your mum is such a dick she sounds similar to mine.

Really sad that some women act like that to other women, even worse when it’s your own daughter

She really does have a mouth issue. If she’s visiting you, you can ask her to leave.

When I had my first, my friends boyfriend (now husband, great) when he saw me about 5 weeks after the birth 'I thought you'd had the baby! Why have you still got a bump?' Dickhead.

You can't learn to be empathetic , you can't even fake it. If it's a skill that your brain hasn't developed it never will.
You can tell your mum that her comments hurt you but she won't actually get it. She by the sounds of it is unable to imagine how she feels is how you would feel, only being able to see the world how it directly effects her. She may actually think her comment was helpful !
She can learn however to not talk negatively but that is a very hard skill to learn when you think your comments are factual and not negative.
The best you'll get her to do is to be sympathetic. Sympathy is not great, it's unfeeling and ends up making someone feel worse or no better.
I'd set the scene with her. Hi mum, today we are only going to say nice things about the baby and talk about what you've been up too.
I expect she is probably very good at holding court about herself.
The Prosecco comment again she can only see how the baby or you having one has effected a part of her time with you she enjoyed and pointed that out as it was factual.
Don't expect anything more or less from her as she is incapable. Keep your visits to what you can cope with.
Congratulations on your baby.

It was rude and nasty and I hope she has realised that by now.

If she does it again say ‘I was brought up to believe that it was rude to comment on appearances. In fact, mum, I thought you were the one who brought me up that way!’

@cushioncuddle - that's a really interesting and thoughtful response, thank you. I hadn't really thought about it the way you describe.

She does have a lot of redeeming qualities, don't get me wrong, but this aspect of her personality is hard to swallow. My poor dad is driven mad by her inability to either apologise when she's in the wrong, or accept a genuine apology from him if he upsets her.

At least I have learnt something from the way she acts - although I'm faaaaar from perfect I always, always say sorry if I am in the wrong/upset someone/am being unreasonable.