To ask when you're in ICU in a coma, who cleans you?

[LadyandGent]

Is it female for females?

@BettyDuMonde your post made me cry because of how eloquently you spoke of how much basic care means to patients and relatives and what a difference delivering this with compassion can make. @crosser62 this is the difference you make

Also, I can't talk about patients ringing their end of treatment bell without crying anyway (which is sometimes tricky at work where I treat patients with cancer!)

Claracracksthenut - I've had a couple of ICU nurses talk about being possessive of their patients (often when I was able to hear but not indicate that I was able to), I never thought they were actually serious! On more than one occasion though, a nurses voice has been the thing I focussed on to wake up - I then proceed to panic like crazy, be completely disoriented and unfortunately be quite aggressive in the process (with no way of controlling it).

ICU nurses are beyond amazing at what they do, their ability to blend technical ability with the 'softer' skills of nursing is phenomenal. How they remain so patient I just don't know.

My father was looked after beautifully (that’s the best word I can think of to describe it) by both male and female nurses in ICU recently. Whilst in icu it was two nurses permanently and in hdu it was one. The male nurses were just as kind, loving and supportive as the female ones and I know I really wouldn’t care whether it was a male or female nurse washing me if I was ever in a similar position.

To all doctors and nurses, you do an amazing job but please don't assume because you've seen hundreds of naked body parts that that makes it any easier for some patients who really struggle with vulnerability

As a doctor, the day I stop appreciating this is the day I leave my job. And I hope I show this to my patients by my actions

I was in itu following an operation and the nurse was male. I was 19/20 at the time. I remember him resisting my catheter because it hadn’t drained anything. Possibly giving me a wash but I was fairly out of it. My parents were there too and he was lovely and kind, I’m now also a nurse but paediatric and not picu. I couldn’t do that and I think those who can are amazing. My mum was in itu 2 years ago and hdu recently and the care she received was outstanding.

I have worked in many care settings. Although male nurses are on the rise, in my experience, there are still usually more female nurses than male.

So, worst case scenario... you would have had a male and a female attend to you. Whenever I have worked with a male, I have taken care to do the intimate care for ladies, while expecting my male co-worker to do the same for the men we look after. This is common, just because we are aware people don't usually like being washed by someone of the opposite sex. This would be whatever their state of consciousness or understanding.

I get you, Rachel.
I must admit, I hadn't given being in a coma in icu much thought, but I have spent an irrational amount of time wincing at the thought of undertakers one day seeing my white, flabby, possibly hairy body, and knowing I'll be dead and won't know anything about it is only mildly comforting!

My mum is severely disabled and is always in and out of hospital. She hasn't always had the best care in my opinion BUT i must say, she was in ICU in a coma a few years ago and the nurses were AMAZING. Just absolutely amazing. They kept her so clean, and use those hair wash hat things. I couldn't fault them. She had mostly female nurses but on other occasions I have personally thought some of the male nurses were absolutely fab. Shes been disabled for years, and generally does have female carers but she is fine with male or female and like others have said, I really doubt a nurse/doctor/care providers thinks anything of having to clean anyone up. They do it hundreds of times a day.

Oh gosh honestly please don’t hate medical staff we do are best to protect dignity and I personally treat every patient as I would want my own family treated. We clean up poo, most of my patients have catheters and we care properly for that. If a patient has a period we kept them clean. Patients are usually lying on large pads under the sheets anyway. We do wash and blow dry hair, I have braided and de-nitted hair, I have helped relatives shave legs. I have known of eyebrows to be maintained by relatives. My adult icu nurse friends shave male patients. We do our best in that regard we also work like hell yo keep our patients alive and get better.

I've had a couple of ICU nurses talk about being possessive of their patients (often when I was able to hear but not indicate that I was able to), I never thought they were actually serious

There were definitely days when the PICU nurses swapped allocated patients between themselves, in order to give as much continuity of care to their patients (and their families) as possible. I also know of nurses who, on their days off have texted colleagues to ask how current patients are doing that day ❤️

ICU nurses are beyond amazing at what they do, their ability to blend technical ability with the 'softer' skills of nursing is phenomenal

Absolutely! I watched them check and double check every single medication that went into my unconscious baby and saw them plan and execute a transfer to the operating theatre with military precision - every potential emergency had been identified and prepared for.

Nonky I agree - our ICU experience was as beautiful as it was terrifying.

I remember it as being like a passenger inside a big, white spaceship. Quiet and calm, full of machines of indeterminate purpose and complicated words that had no real meaning. The doctors decided where we were travelling to, but it was the nurses who were droving the spaceship. They got us safely to our destination, but I never had any doubt that they would.

RavenMaven the kids cancer ward has been another weirdly beautiful experience! So much sadness but so much love. My little girl is an anomaly, as she doesn’t technically have cancer (she has HLH - now in remission), but we’ve still got a second family on the ward. We had an emergency admission just before Xmas and I bawled my eyes out when we arrived on the dark, quiet ward after midnight, to see an enormous Xmas tree on the corridor. After some stressful hours coming in through A&E, It felt like like we’d made it home.

I’ve always been grateful for the NHS, but now I’ve seen it at it’s absolute best, I cannot believe how lucky we are. We honestly couldn’t have gotten better care anywhere in the world, not even if we were billionaires.

We’ve been treated with kind, loving care by everyone we’ve encountered, from the cleaners to the consultants.

My daughter started back at school this month, just an hour a day - yet a few months ago we were close to losing her. Sometimes it feels like a miracle happened, that it must’ve been magic that saved her, but it wasn’t magic at all, it was the NHS and the people who work in it.

@JanetandJohn500 THIS! I am so worried about my tash in this situation. I need to get a reciprocal agreement mitt my bezzie mate like you!

And @BettyDuMonde you got me again! You have a beautiful way with words. And I'm so pleased to hear your daughter is doing well x

I don't know a single person working in the NHS who doesn't take a huge amount of pride in the job they do, and strive to do the best they can. I might have been lucky, or work in a great place, but despite the cuts and ever increasing pressure I don't know anyone who doesn't do their very best for their patients.

On a serious note, as an ex PICU Nurse, personal care is as much a part of the job as administering medication, taking arterial blood gases or any other more 'technical' task. Washing hair is a challenge and we had an elephants ear for that (hard to describe but other icu staff will know what I'm on about). Sometimes patients were too sick for anything more than the absolute basics to maintain their health and well-being but if they could tolerate more it was done. It was a real sense of pride seeing a child clean, fresh, new bedding with an amazing duvet cover over them of something they were into, clean teeth, clean brushed hair etc etc. Parents assisting with what they could or helping their precious baby with a nappy change or clipping their nails. It's empowering for the parent, essential for their overall care and what nurses do. We didn't go into it to not do the most intimate things with the utmost respect, privacy and dignity at all times.

@crosser62 your post made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

The most respectful nurses I had were the two ladies who did my bedbath when I was very poorly after having DS2. I was so embarrassed about letting someone else clean me but they treated with so much care that I actually began to feel like a human being again. I felt so great afterwards that I would probably say it was the best wash I have ever had, plus I loved the way one of them did my hair!

Thank you for what you do

crosser62 I hope I don’t ever need bed bathing, but if I do I hope it’s done by someone as lovely and respectful as you

The spaceship comparison is spot on. That’s exactly like we felt like. Of course I am so happy my father is how but there is something strangely comforting about ICU

I was in HDU until just over a week ago - a very unexpected incident led me to having a trip in a blue-lighted ambulance (with me thinking, ‘what a fuss - I could call my dad.’)
Middle of the night, lengthy surgery, and 6 nights in HDU. I’m now in a Neurosurgery ward.

At almost every opportunity throughout this absolutely unexpected experience, I was treated with kindness, and care - with my dignity respected wherever possible. The vulnerability felt by patients in these situations can’t be underestimated. I was in HDU until just over a week ago - a very unexpected incident led me to having a trip in a blue-lighted ambulance (with me thinking, ‘what a fuss - I could call my dad.’)
Middle of the night, lengthy surgery, and 6 nights in HDU. I’m now in a Neurosurgery ward.

At almost every opportunity throughout this absolutely unexpected experience, I was treated with kindness, and care - with my dignity respected wherever possible. The vulnerability felt by patients in these situations can’t be underestimated.

I was cared for by male and female nurses, HCAs, carers, and domestic staff. They were all appropriate in their conduct, and dignified in their approaches. They provided personal care, dealt with my catheter, cleaned me up after the toilet, washed my hair, and kept my IV lines and injections up to date, clean and well managed.

I can tell you I cared not a jot about their gender, race, age, or anything else.

It's lovely that some people do not care who touches then where in hospital, but perhaps those people could consider why they have such a lack of empathy for other people who have suffered trauma or do not feel the same for whatever reason.

Having had the plain dumb luck not to have suffered the kinds of trauma that make medical and personal care unbearable and traumatising does not make you superior or a better person.

I wish some people would realise that it isn't about how the nurse or doctor perceives things. They may have seen a thousand breasts but if a patient has never exposed HER breasts to a stranger, it's immaterial how the HCP feels.

Exactly.

I received absolutely fantastic care in ICU and I am eternally grateful. However, it doesn’t mean I didn’t feel embarrassed knowing I was cared for in a very personal way and it absolutely was one of my worries. There have been a couple of off the cuff comments on here from people who probably have not got PTSD from surviving something that should have killed them. Being distressed about what happened to you when in a coma doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful for the medical care. It means you’re a traumatised, physically unwell human being.

I'm the person who has to build herself for a smear because the anxiety I feel about it is hell even after having children. A hospital admittance for sepsis and the following care I received from a male nurse who saw I was terrified and looked after me like a mother with a young child has relaxed me and taken away my fear. Nerves of course are normal but overwhelming fear can be helped. The nurse I had was incredible and actually I saw the work the team on the ward I was in, did.

Our NHS is amazing. Some ass holes - of course, they are in all walks of life.

But on the whole these people sacrifice to provide care for us. They deserve to be seen as hero's as far as I'm concerned. I owe them my life. I was so well cared for I wrote to the top boss with express my thanks to my named nurse and the whole team.

I just wanted to echo what some of the others have said, I haven't personally been in a coma but I have seen people come through them twice and the mental health side is not to be underestimated at all. Post traumatic stress seems really common - which makes complete sense.

It's a hugely traumatic thing to happen to anyone.

Please look after yourself and please ask for help if you need too.

Sorry - I absolutely wasn’t belittling anyone’s experience in my earlier post, but saying that I was so impressed at the professional approach taken by everyone involved in my care. I was treated with dignity throughout, and any concerns I had were treated with kindness. When I felt exposed and vulnerable, a Paramedic held my hand, and reassured me; when I cried at the thought of being in a scanner, with probes being put into me, I was listened to, without any worries of time elapsing; and when I cried again (with joy) when I found I could still walk, the Physio hugged me back.
Respect, and consideration, were key to all the care I received.

Sorry for posting and dashing.
Some of you have hit on it. I had a diary when I came out of the coma, and one entry stated, 'you have your period, but it's nearly finished now, I cleaned you up today' From what I could read, that was a female nurse's entry.
Put it this way, I'm glad I was in a coma if it was men cleaning me up after menstruation. It's just too vulnerable and personal for me.
I'm bizarrely utterly fine with male doctors, though usually they will bring in a nurse if they can find one as a chaperone, if they have to do something down that direction. I was just wondering if it was the same when in a coma.

I recall having to get a canula in my groin before I went into the coma, and the male doctor wouldn't do it without a female present.
I guess I'm just wondering are they the same when you're non compos mentis!

My consultant throughout was actually ex RAF. I've just started watching Our Girl this evening so have somewhat of an appreciation of the experience he has, but he did seem to pull me through what I shouldn't technically have pulled through!

I also had all the delusions when I came out of the coma. None sexual. Though I had acquired two more babies and murdered someone .

It's just whichever HCA is on shift. I don't think there are any rules about it having to be a specific gender