To ask when you're in ICU in a coma, who cleans you?

[LadyandGent]

Is it female for females?

callmerachel
For periods, pads would be used, though medication may be used to prevent them also. Depends on situation and length of incapacitation I expect.

I imagine hair removal would not be a priority in terms of time given to provide nursing care.

Facial shaves for men that are usually clean shaven.

Family could probably keep up to eyebrows or chin hair??

@CallMeRachel I feel the same as you. I was sexually abused by my dad as a child so the thought of being that vulnerable around a man, even in a trusted position where they’re meant to be caring for you, fills me with utter panic.

Seventytwo , don’t get me started on the RCN , the bunch of complete fuckwits, they got our pay negotiations spot on didn’t they!!!

@crosser62, I hope that I’m lucky enough to have someone like you as my nurse if I ever find myself in hospital.

@Burlea way up thread you mentioned your mil said her male carer saw places her late husband never did - was she making a disclosure and suggesting the carer was inappropriate? If so, you must follow that up!

@AngelsSins

It's that. I don't ever allow myself to be vulnerable, ever. I can't.

This thread has triggered something in me somehow I'm actually crying.

Yes, I probably need therapy as it's not until I see others being normal around stuff like this I realise how bad I am.

To all doctors and nurses, you do an amazing job but please don't assume because you've seen hundreds of naked body parts that that makes it any easier for some patients who really struggle with vulnerability.

My mum has been in hospital a lot & she was left dirty in a couple of places & had proper bed baths & care in others. She doesn't remember the operations much but she is very grateful to the people who cared for her properly, as that's what she does remember.

Love Crosser's post. Thank you for caring.

I think you need to go back to your doctor if this hypothetical scenario is giving you so much anxiety.

If anyone has specific anxiety/fear or preference around this, just make sure your nearest and dearest know how strongly you feel. They can then express this to the team looking after you and make sure that your wishes are met.

crosser62 you are lovely

@Zacjosh yep I agree, I must say when I read the way the nurses got screwed I wasn’t even surprised, but I know hundreds of brilliant, lovely nurses so it did upset me.

You must feel about the RCN the way I do about the BMA

I can’t speak for other staff, but where I worked, it was understood that Male staff would help move/roll a Female patient and the Female staff would wash her intimidate areas. Both staff would help position the male patients and if a male staffer was available, they would carry out the intimate care. However, many times there weren’t enough make staff so we would wash the males.

@crosser62 lovely post. thank you for the work you do
I bloodly love the NHS I do. I would happily pay more NI so that it's better funded and so that nurses like @crosser62 are appropriately rewarded financially for the work that they do.

I wish some people would realise that it isn't about how the nurse or doctor perceives things. They may have seen a thousand breasts but if a patient has never exposed HER breasts to a stranger, it's immaterial how the HCP feels.

Women get body shamed all the time, they get sexually harrassed, abused, hurt and embarrassed. They get slut shamed and judged. Being ill doesn't always enable someone to cast off what, for some women, are very real and rational fears.

The nurses who cared for my daughter in PICU are my sheros. I will never, ever forget them. They plaited her hair, they brushed her teeth, they spoke to her before they touched her and they sang to her when they thought she was awake enough to hear them.

My little girl will be ringing the end of treatment bell soon, and our Macmillan nurse is trying to arrange a time when some of the PICU team will be able to come watch (along with the wonderful oncology/haematology staff).

LadyandGent you have a lot less to be concerned about in an NHS ICU than in a private nursing home (which is where that poor woman was raped and impregnated).
There isn’t much privacy in ICU - lots of the beds are open plan and doctors are always on the floor, unlike other wards. The patient to nurse ratio also makes for lots of people, so very little opportunity for a predator to take advantage. Plus, ICU nurses are highly trained professionals and take their jobs very seriously - it takes a special kind of person to fill an ICU role.

That said, post ICU trauma is definitely a real thing, even when care has been perfect - my daughter (who was only six at the time) had dreams of being bitten by snakes - probably her mind making up stories to explain the needle pricks and cannulas. Our amazing hospital makes it very easy to see a psychologist because the phenomenon is well documented.

Being critically ill can do a number on the mental health of the patient (and their loved ones). It’s not quite as easy as being grateful you survived and getting back on with things - I didn’t have any understanding of this until my daughter was sick and we fell into the upside down.

Ask to be referred for some professional support to help your mind heal? It’s just as valid as needing other forms of medical care.

Make = male

Rcnis a chocolate teapot, useless in every way.

I worked as a care/support worker and we generally worked in pairs as needed for hoisting/rolling. If the patient was female generally I would do the personal care

One patient I did the care for myself and she had refused a shower for months as she didn't want anyone seeing her. With a lot of towel draping, persuasion and me going "I've shut my eyes!" I managed and she said how amazing it felt after

I notice nothing about people's bodies apart from skin for sores and making sure all poo/wee is removed

It really is important that people are respected as individuals.

Yes in emergency/life threatening situations, hcp will have to act regardless of their gender/sex.
But for routine personal care, your wishes (hopefully in a care plan discussed with family/carers) should be respected and followed.

Just because someone sees or has seen a thousand bums, does not take away from the acute invasion of privacy it can feel for person 1001!

Been in an induced coma twice in ICU. Believe me you are never alone with one person!

Love Crosser's post. Thank you for caring

YY to this.

@Blistory of course it must be horrible to have that anxiety and I don’t think anyone should minimise it.

I only brought up the “seen it a hundred times” thing in an attempt to remove one source of anxiety - I’m always amazed by how many patients (and you are quite right it is always women) who say “oh I’m so sorry I haven’t shaved my legs/had a bikini wax” with an embarrassed look on their face, so it does seem that the perception of the HCP is a concern for some patients

To all doctors and nurses, you do an amazing job but please don't assume because you've seen hundreds of naked body parts that that makes it any easier for some patients who really struggle with vulnerability.

Thank you for saying this.

@CallMeRachel & @AngelsSins

For similar reasons, thinking about things like this gives me a weird surge of anger and indignation. It's obviously not actual anger at some hypothetical care worker who might need to care for me one day, but some kind of displaced anger at past betrayed trust, I guess, and the feeling of helplessness and powerlessness involved. My brain also tries to tell me "I'd rather die", but I wouldn't really. I've had a lot of therapy, and I can cope with medical stuff quite well as it arises, but I guess it never quite goes away, and random things like imagining myself in coma, being cared by unknown people (not just even men) kick up some buried stuff.

Thank you to all the great health care workers, though! Some of you have got me through some situations I never thought I'd be able to cope with, just by being kind!