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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get annoyed about people parking in parent/baby spaces

184 replies

Mummyto2munchkins · 25/01/2019 17:11

So went shopping today. A woman parked her car in a parent and baby space but left both kids and her mum in the car with the car running..
I shook my head as it annoyed me.

She stopped the car and opened the back door showing her kids saying "if you wanna get lairy my kids are in the car"

We explained that the parking spaces are for parents with kids in the car to get the kids out.. She then said that both kids were in the car. We said also with your mum in the car too.

She then said "he didn't want to go in, what do you want me to do drag them out" we responded with "no just park in a Normal space"

AIBU to think she's out of order, and the spaces are for kids getting out of the car as you're needing extra space to get them in/out? Or am I completely missing something here?

OP posts:
babydreamer1 · 25/01/2019 23:41

Yes @Sockwomble I'm aware of my comment and I firmly believe disabled spaces should be reserved for those who have been assessed and qualify for a blue badge, which is what they are meant for.

Sockwomble · 25/01/2019 23:48

My point was that you also said the severely disabled people without blue badges shouldn't use p and c spaces.

FrancisCrawford · 26/01/2019 00:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babydreamer1 · 26/01/2019 00:26

Well yes @Sockwomble, that's correct. But if they were severely disabled they would have a blue badge so it's a bit of a moot point.

faithinthesound · 26/01/2019 00:32

Yes. YABU. they're a courtesy not a right, and parents need to stop pretending like they're somehow more entitled to park closer to the store than anyone else because they've produced offspring.

EatShitBoswell · 26/01/2019 02:01

"Parents already experience having to walk their DC across carparks all the time in places other than supermarkets. It’s not unusual or worthy of comment"

Yes, but with the addition of carrying/pushing their weekly shop it's not hard to see why that might be a lot more difficult Hmm.
However, thanks for informing me of what's 'worthy of comment' officer Crawford 😂

Sockwomble · 26/01/2019 05:58

"Well yes @Sockwomble, that's correct. But if they were severely disabled they would have a blue badge so it's a bit of a moot point."

There are lots of severely disabled people who do not have blue badges.
Do you think the parent of a 2 year old needs the space more than the parent of a severely autistic adult with the understanding of a 2 year old?

N0rdicStar · 26/01/2019 06:45

Yanbu

I relied on such spaces heavily when my dc were little. Wouldn't dream of using them now in the same way I wouldn't use disabled bays. Incredibly selfish and lacking in empathy. There is also no need. I take my elderly mother shopping weekly at peak times,she has a few mobility issues( doesn't qualify for a badge) and copes just fine. Wouldn't dream of using either spaces.We circle until we get a suitable space. I do my shopping,she does her shopping.

Autistic people will find getting blue badges easier from this year.

Supermarkets can and do issue fines for this if car parks are on store land. They can be as much as £95. I know ours also asks people to move as I once complained years ago and they did just that.

I think motoring groups have asked for on the spot £25 fines everywhere.

And sorry I don't get the tedious snowflake accusations.All manner of help for parents these days could be described as snowflake inducing. Empathy and consideration in an ever increasing selfish world is the way to go.

Sockwomble · 26/01/2019 07:10

"Empathy and consideration in an ever increasing selfish world is the way to go."

It is a pity some posters on here are not showing that towards people with disabilities and would rather begrudge them a reasonable adjustment.

Sockwomble · 26/01/2019 07:28

"Autistic people will find getting blue badges easier from this year."

This came about because the case of an adult similar to the person I described earlier was taken to the High Court, a process that took years.
The person had previously had a blue badge but when DLA changed to PIP an adult with those disabilities no longer had entitlement.
That is how hard it is to get a blue badge but some people persist in thinking that blue badges are hadn't out to anyone who needs one.

babydreamer1 · 26/01/2019 08:04

No @Sockwomble I don't think they 'need it more' and it doesn't matter if they feel they do, because quite simply the spaces are not provided for their use.
So in your opinion, does a mother, who has just given birth, sustaining significant trauma, with a newborn in a car seat that she struggles to lift out of the car unless she can open the door wide enough, not need it more? Or is that her fault because she chose have a baby? The same stupid logic could be applied to the mother of the autistic adult though couldn't it? Or in fact any person in the world.
No, I think blue badges are 'handed out' to those who meet the necessary criteria, the same as other government afforded benefits.

Ollivander84 · 26/01/2019 08:05

I used them when I was waiting for a spinal op. And also post op when I wasn't allowed to twist so needed to open the door fully and swivel knees together (think celebs getting out a car!) and get out that way. If there was a space on the end of a row obviously I used that instead, but I needed the space to open the car door fully and not get blocked in

PurpleDaisies · 26/01/2019 08:16

I take my elderly mother shopping weekly at peak times,she has a few mobility issues( doesn't qualify for a badge) and copes just fine

Excellent. You do know not all people with mobility issues are the same? Some really need the extra space to get out of the car but still don’t qualify for a blue badge.

Sockwomble · 26/01/2019 08:32

Babydreamer1 the question I asked was

"Do you think the parent of a 2 year old needs the space more than the parent of a severely autistic adult with the understanding of a 2 year old?"

You appear to have responded to a completely different question.

I'll rephrase it.

Why do you think the parent of a toddler needs the space when the parent of a 6ft adult with severe sensory difficulties, with challenging behaviour including biting, kicking, punching and headbutting when distressed, who is likely to run off and has the understanding of a toddler doesn't?

N0rdicStar · 26/01/2019 08:35

Said child will have a blue badge this year so it's a moot point.

DeadCertain · 26/01/2019 08:39

Well yes @Sockwomble, that's correct. But if they were severely disabled they would have a blue badge so it's a bit of a moot point. @babydreamer1 not always. You can be temporarily incapacitated and so not qualify for a blue badge. After I broke my back and was allowed to mobilise again I spent many months in a large, rigid brace and with crutches; I needed lots of space to get into and out of a car and also found it difficult (and unsafe) to walk very far at all. I couldn't get whoever was driving me to park in a disabled space and the next best option was a p&c space. As I said early on in the thread I did get quite a bit of direct abuse or passive aggressive tutting / head shaking / loud comments from people to others that I was meant to overhear. I can't honestly believe that people would begrudge others the use of a larger parking space when they're clearly struggling.

I have never used a p&c space before or since for any other reason. A little tolerance and compassion for other people goes a long way.

Sockwomble · 26/01/2019 09:00

It's still disgusting that those who don't believe in reasonable adjustments ie in equality, think they shouldn't have them now.

cactusplant · 26/01/2019 09:23

Try being disabled and having very young children. Some of the comments are vile no matter where I park.
If you have a problem go to the supermarket security and let them check it out. Don't spoil somebody's day.

nevernotstruggling · 26/01/2019 13:49

I use the parent a child spaces in the multi storey by work because I'm often collecting a child. Quite often a baby in a pram. You should see the looks I get ;-)

I might use 'if you're going to get lairy.......' though I quite like it

Drogosnextwife · 26/01/2019 13:57

I am a childminder so have been using P&C spaces for years, sometimes I can be taking 3 very young children out the car. I see people parking in P&C spaces all the time, it's quite clear they don't need them, they just want to be as vlose as possible. I can honestly say I have never witnessed anyone who looks as though they are struggling to get out a car use one. Only every people who jump out the car and walk off into the shops with no difficulty whatsoever, or coming back from the shops, jump in the car and drive off. The most recent was a young girl of around 19 who whizzed into the space next to me while I was taking kids out the car, she hopped out in an M&S uniform and strode off into the shopping centre. Probably just late for work.

Charlie97 · 26/01/2019 14:04

Who appointed you parking and moral police?

Charlie97 · 26/01/2019 14:09

We also have a small car, with a small pram, with a small carseat, but with people's "poor parking" nowadays. I mean who needs to be so close to a white line nowadays anyway, you do struggle getting a seat out of a car, (especially if there are no other spaces available) - just saying

Nowadays.... what used to happen in olden days?

Charlie97 · 26/01/2019 14:10

Can I point out I never actually started anything we was driving when she stopped the car to block us in to have ago at us...

Yes you did, you shook your head at her and she knew it!! You started it and she finished it.

JellycatElfie · 26/01/2019 14:15

I think people who park in parent and child spaces out of pure laziness should be being flamed not you. I have a 3 year old and newborn and got back to find my car blocked in by idiots who had parked over the line. J was in a normal space as the p and c spaces were all gone. What am I supposed to do, leave my 3 year old stood on the road and newborn in the push chair while I reverse my car out? I literally couldn’t get either of them in without climbing over the boot first!

SilverySurfer · 26/01/2019 14:16

The point is that despite all the frothing, no-one gives a fuck and if someone wants to park in a P&C space, they will. If you don't like it, have your food delivered or continue to shake your head, I'm sure they will be so terrified they will dare not park there again Grin

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