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AIBU?

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Original poster

To let 13yr old DD and her mates watch a 15 cert film?

92 replies

Rollergirl11 · 25/01/2019 13:12

DD is having a movie night with her friends tonight at our house. They are all 13 and in Yr 8. Apparently they want to watch IT, the Stephen King horror film that was remade last year. I actually don’t mind DD watching it. But I don’t know how the parents of the other kids feel about it. There are 8 of them coming and I don’t know the parents of some of them. I’m kind of of the opinion that the kids are old enough to tell my DD if their parents will object to them watching it if in fact they themselves don’t want to watch as it too scary. But is that naive of me?

I remember at that age i’d seen The Exorcist and Nightmare on Elm St, etc so perhaps I’m slightly biased!

Would you be pissed off if your 13yr old watched this film?

OP posts:
QueenofmyPrinces · 25/01/2019 13:14

You would be EXTREMEMLY out of order if you did this without speaking to the parents of the other girls.

You have every right to let your daughter watch whatever she likes, but you don’t have the right to expose such films to other young girls without their parent’s knowledge and consent.

ecuse · 25/01/2019 13:15

Why don't you just check with parents when they drop off? Or do a quick text round?

All kids will be different in how they will cope with scary stuff. I'd be a bit peeved if you showed it to my kid without checking it out with me (although I'd probably just tut inwardly and not make a big issue of it).

Disclaimer: my eldest is only 7

MirandaWest · 25/01/2019 13:15

I have a 13 year old in year 8. I don’t think I’d mind about the 15 certificate part, although it is possible DD wouldn’t actually want to watch it and would feel swept up by the others

TeeniefaeTroon · 25/01/2019 13:16

You need to check with all parents first, just because you don't mind doesn't mean they won't.

Original poster
Rollergirl11 · 25/01/2019 13:16

They’re not all girls, 3 other girls and 4 boys. In fact I know the parents of the girls and know they are okay. It’s the boys parents I don’t know.

OP posts:
MirandaWest · 25/01/2019 13:16

So I think it might be better to know before.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 25/01/2019 13:16

No. Not unless you ask every child's parents.
Some of the kids might not want to watch IT or cope with the content but wouldn't say anything in case the others took the piss.

My eldest would have nightmares.

Seline · 25/01/2019 13:16

I wouldn't mind but you should ask the parents

ecuse · 25/01/2019 13:18

Definitely naive to assume the girls will tell you if their parents would say no Grin

LooksBetterWithAFilter · 25/01/2019 13:18

I have a 13 year old and a slightly older teen. In theory I don’t have anything against the 15 cert. but I do think it’s a bonkers choice of film. Let your dd watch it fine but while they are old enough don’t underestimate peer pressure. The others may find it scary and not want to watch it but be too afraid to speak up if they think the others want to watch it. I’d pick something else.

Original poster
Rollergirl11 · 25/01/2019 13:19

They are coming straight from school so no drop-offs and I don’t have the phone nos of the boys parents. DD only told me this morning what film they were planning to watch. So my only option would be to not allow them to watch it and I know DD would be hugely pissed off with me if I did that.

OP posts:
Unicornfeathers · 25/01/2019 13:20

As well as talking to the other parents I would check out Common Sense Media - they are independent reviewers with child and parent reviewers.

In our house we go for a mean of the actual rating, common sense media rating, parent rating and child rating.

Original poster
Rollergirl11 · 25/01/2019 13:21

Okay, sounds like the consensus is to choose another film. Thanks guys. 👍

OP posts:
kenandbarbie · 25/01/2019 13:24

I wouldn't. I saw a 15 movie at a friends at age 13 and it really scared me (I think it was critters!). I wouldn't even ask the parents as it makes it hard for them to be the one who says no and they would feel like they had to say yes or their child would get teased. I think it's rude to either show it or ask the parents. You should just say no. You could also point out that you don't have the boys parents Nos so you can't ask them.

Pinkruler · 25/01/2019 13:27

My 13yo watched IT with her 13 yo friends - they enjoyed it!

messyhousetidymind · 25/01/2019 13:29

The boys in particular might be too shy to admit they might have nightmares. It's a scary film not a marvel type so I wouldn't put it on without phoning parents first

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 25/01/2019 13:29

The boys will have phones on them when they arrive, which will contain parent numbers. A quick call will grant or not grant permission.

Houseonahill · 25/01/2019 13:29

Some 15s would be ok but not that one I don't think. At 13 that film would of terrified me but I wouldn't have been brave enough to say that if all my mates wanted to watch it.

Pinkruler · 25/01/2019 13:31

Some kids will not want to watch it, some will - you know her friends - can you not make a judgment based on that?

messyhousetidymind · 25/01/2019 13:31

I made a mistake once at a birthday party (younger kids) with the miss peregrine film. One of the mothers had seen it and said yes it's good etc.

We had to switch off half way through as some were too creeped out by it.

Kids do vary in imagination etc

tillytrotter1 · 25/01/2019 13:32

Our daughter saw the original It when in her early teens and she's still terrified of clowns at 40!

EyeDrops · 25/01/2019 13:32

I hate to pull out a mumsnet cliche, but you are the parent - you say your DD has "told you" what film they're planning to watch and would be "hugely pissed off" if you said no. But it's totally your call to say no!

If you're able to get hold of the boys parents once they're there, by all means get in touch and ask them. But I really wouldn't assume.

Quartz2208 · 25/01/2019 13:34

Yes you cannot do this without asking the parents - different children would have different views as would parents and its too much

Your DD needs to get that you cannot make that decision for her friends to watch it underage - its is not your call to make

And its clowns I hate clowns it would be my worse nightmare and I would go along with it and hate it and then have bad dreams

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 25/01/2019 13:39

I wouldn't even watch IT Shock
I wouldn't let my child watch it either. My DD watched The Woman in Black when she was 12 and had nightmares for days

SparkofJoy · 25/01/2019 13:43

I have a 13 yo and wouldn't be pissed off. If DC were having a film party, I'd say their friends need to square the film choice with their own parents or not come. Since they left primary I don't really speak to the parents of my DC friends.

We have a our house, our rules policy. DC don't have Call of Duty or 18 certificate games but I am aware they have played them in their friends houses. If they friends bring them over, I take them and give them back when they leave (shrug).

I've spoken to DC about porn and I would not be happy about it being watched in my house or at their friends.