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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let 13yr old DD and her mates watch a 15 cert film?

92 replies

Rollergirl11 · 25/01/2019 13:12

DD is having a movie night with her friends tonight at our house. They are all 13 and in Yr 8. Apparently they want to watch IT, the Stephen King horror film that was remade last year. I actually don’t mind DD watching it. But I don’t know how the parents of the other kids feel about it. There are 8 of them coming and I don’t know the parents of some of them. I’m kind of of the opinion that the kids are old enough to tell my DD if their parents will object to them watching it if in fact they themselves don’t want to watch as it too scary. But is that naive of me?

I remember at that age i’d seen The Exorcist and Nightmare on Elm St, etc so perhaps I’m slightly biased!

Would you be pissed off if your 13yr old watched this film?

OP posts:

LemonBreeland · 25/01/2019 14:08

I think if it was an old 15, that would be categorised as a 12 these days then that would be fine. Not a current 15 though.

OutPinked · 25/01/2019 14:08

Ask the parents for their permission first obviously but if they’re ok with it then fine. It’s really not that scary. I watched The Pianist and Schindlers List at that age, that was more petrifying to me than IT ever could be...

Onecabbage · 25/01/2019 14:09

It depends on the child. Some 13 y/o are very mature, some are incredibly immature. Ask the parents before you press play. I have three daughters, one was ok with horror, one still doesn’t like horror or gore (like me) even in her late 20s. Please don’t presume they will be ok, some children really are not ok with graphic horror.

IT, is a terrific book, I loved reading it, I’m not sure d like to see it on screen.

Jess74 · 25/01/2019 14:10

Now I think of it, I suspect DD would be too scared to watch it but wouldn't want to admit so would use me as cover.

Ribbonsonabox · 25/01/2019 14:12

YANBU but let the kids and their parents know in advance so if any have an objection to that they dont have to come. IT is not a very graphic film at all. It's more jump scares and atmosphere.
I loved horror films at that age, still do. We would always watch horrors at sleepovers. Psycho, The Exorcist, Scream etc
As a horror fan as an adult I do think there are certain horror films I would not let my children watch until they were over the certificate age... but IT is not one of them as it's not actually psychologically harrowing or graphic. Of course if you have a particularly sensitive child you should also factor that in. But some kids of 13 would be totally fine with watching IT I think.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 25/01/2019 14:13

Ah. I came on to say a 15 cert is probably fine for 13 year olds but...Pennywise scared the crap out if me when I was older than that, so in this case I would say don't do it.

waterrat · 25/01/2019 14:14

When I was 13 this would have freaked me out so much it would have wanted to go home ! Please don't put kids in that position

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 25/01/2019 14:15

Just say you're perfectly happy to let them but need go double check with parents first, if one refuses just say they can't watch it but don't tell them who it was

1hello2hello · 25/01/2019 14:16

This I would say no. A 15 cert film is more like an 18 cert of 20 years ago.
Not this I think 13 is ok to watch a 15 film

Christmas eve I said we should watch a christmassy film. DS is 14 & in yr10. We opted for Bad Santa 2 which was labelled as humorous with a rating of 15 (never seen Bad Santa 1).

"From beginning to end, the movie is obsessed, not so much monotonously as in stereo, with female buttocks, and women (the curvier the better) who like it rough." Guardian review which I only read after. At least DS didn't have any of his friends round !

GetOffTheTableMabel · 25/01/2019 14:18

Absolutely NOT. My dd13 would be very upset by that movie but she would be even more upset at having to take responsibility for speaking up and being the one to spoil everyone else’s fun by saying she didn’t want to watch this. She would make herself sit through it and would be genuinely distressed when she got home - and for some time afterwards.
I would be beside myself with anger if you allowed my child to do this in your home. I’m afraid I would think you were irresponsible and horrible and I would say so - to any other adult I thought would listen. I would want to phone fucking social services. I would probably get a grip and not do it because it’s a massive over-reaction but that’s how angry I would be with you and that’s how out of order I think the idea is.
13 is a real transitional age. 13 yr olds are very different from each other and there are reasons why films have certificates.
Have you looked on the BBFC website to see exactly why it was given that 15 certificate? It is listed as “strong horror” due to violence.
Seriously, how dare you?

Greyhound22 · 25/01/2019 14:19

I will just add - I was that child - I hated (and still do age 38) horror films. I often went along with the consensus and watched them when I was younger but I can still remember some horrid bits (Pet Cemetery I'm looking at you). Yes I am a wimp but it's also related to my OCD.

So for a kids sleepover I would pick something else. Doesn't have to be Care Bears the movie but there are plenty of good action type films etc.

Ratings wise I think most 13 year olds will be watching 15 rating but I wouldn't do horror.

Lovemusic33 · 25/01/2019 14:20

I wouldn’t as you haven’t got content from all the parents.

Also IT is pretty scary (not as bad as the original but still it’s 15 for a reason).

My dd watches some 15’s but not horror type stuff.

Iloveautumnleaves · 25/01/2019 14:22

(Now) Y8’s were all watching it last year (Y7), so I’d be surprised if most of them haven’t seen it already. DC is torn - she doesn’t want to watch it because she thinks it looks scary, but she’s also curious to see what all the fuss is about. I’m not sure what she’d do if she was at a friends and they put it on, but she’s 13, I think it would be a good very learning opportunity - speak out, make an excuse to leave...? They’re coming into the age where they have to make more difficult decisions in life, I have no problem with a film being the start of that.

DC is NT, 13, sensible and we talk about anything & everything. I wouldn’t be at all bothered by her seeing an R15 film. I’d draw the line at R18 though, outside of the home where she can’t turn it off or ask me to watch it with her.

In your situation though, I’d probably explain to them that I don’t want to be upsetting any of their parents so I need to call them first. Big bloody fuss over ‘It’ though.

ShartGoblin · 25/01/2019 14:25

The new IT really isn't that scary and it's told from the perspective of the kids so would probably be more relatable to 13 year olds. There's a lot of humour in it. It just isn't as terrifying as we all remember the old one being.

Ask the parents because obviously their kids their rules but honestly, the film is fine for that age group in my opinion, watch it yourself first and see.

I suspect the 15 rating comes from the implied child abuse of 2 of the characters and the mention of the dreaded period!

Eliza9917 · 25/01/2019 14:26

I grew up in the 80s so had seen horror films by that age so wouldn't get het up about certificates but if they are all staying at yours, whether you know them or not, shouldn't you have a telephone number for each kids parent in case something happens? Just send them all a text and say DD is planning on watching XXX, is that ok?

littlemisscomper · 25/01/2019 14:26

When I was 13 my mum would make my friends ring their parents for permission before we could watch a 5. It was mortifying at the time but as an adult I totally understand.

As it's a horror I feel strongly that you shouldn't let them watch it. I know at that age I would have been too scared to be the only one saying I didn't want to see it, so I would have sat through it hating every minute, and been traumatized afterwards! I speak from experience!

Lokisglowstickofdestiny · 25/01/2019 14:27

Common Sense media rates IT as 13+ so if it was my own child I'd be fine with her watching it but I'd still ask parents of other children first. I don't think IT is actually that scary, the most disturbing part in my view, was the relationship between the girl and her father.

Heifer · 25/01/2019 14:29

At age 13 my DD would have wanted to say she wasn't allowed to watch it - as she wouldn't have been keen but wouldn't admit it to friends. So I would be miffed if a parent allowed DD to watch a 15 without checking with me, as it would give me a chance to ask DD if she wanted to watch it first (if I was ok with it) - as it happens DD was 13 when that came out (approx.) and I didnt' let her watch it.
It didn't have a blanket band on 15s at that age but took it film by film.
When having friends over I would never let them watch older films just in case someone got scared or miffed parents. There are plenty of age appropriate films to watch.

RCohle · 25/01/2019 14:30

I think showing a horror film to other people's kids is always a bit high risk - regardless of age/certificates. You can never predict what will really freak out even an older child and kids are often far too afraid of losing face to speak up.

I'd be pretty relaxed about letting 13 year olds watch most 15 certificate films (rom-coms, action etc) but definitely not a horror film.

If one of your DD's friends has nightmares for weeks and their parents call you up really pissed off you haven't got a leg to stand on have you?

amusedbush · 25/01/2019 14:34

When I was about 13 I was pressured into watching Scream and it fucked me up for years. I was really distressed and had nightmares for a really, really long time afterwards. My parents were furious and had to put up with me appearing at their bedside in the middle of the night for the first time since I was a small child

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 25/01/2019 14:35

OneToThree · 25/01/2019 14:39

I wouldn’t even put on a scary 12 rated film. Some children are really affected by those kinds of films.
Why don’t you get the boys to ring their mums then they can pass the phone to you to ask.

Original poster

Rollergirl11 · 25/01/2019 14:49

Just to let you know it’s not a sleepover. Everyone is being picked up at 10pm. Of course I would make sure I had the number of parents for kids if they were staying the night. Also wouldn’t have 13yr old boys staying for a sleepover!

OP posts:

Tootrousers · 25/01/2019 14:55

Seems like you’ve decided against the film op. I’m glad, I think it’s pretty obvious that a parent shouldn’t show a 15 film to a 14 year old guest without their parents permission!

katienana · 25/01/2019 14:56

Rollergirl my opinion is old enough to stay out till 10, old enough to watch it. Can't believe how controlling some parents are over their teens, it's just not a big deal. If they get scared then maybe a lesson to not watch next time?

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