To let 13yr old DD and her mates watch a 15 cert film?

[Rollergirl11]

DD is having a movie night with her friends tonight at our house. They are all 13 and in Yr 8. Apparently they want to watch IT, the Stephen King horror film that was remade last year. I actually don’t mind DD watching it. But I don’t know how the parents of the other kids feel about it. There are 8 of them coming and I don’t know the parents of some of them. I’m kind of of the opinion that the kids are old enough to tell my DD if their parents will object to them watching it if in fact they themselves don’t want to watch as it too scary. But is that naive of me?

I remember at that age i’d seen The Exorcist and Nightmare on Elm St, etc so perhaps I’m slightly biased!

Would you be pissed off if your 13yr old watched this film?

They are hugely variable at that age, you need to check, especially with something scary, rather than just something with adult humour.

I’m kind of of the opinion that the kids are old enough to tell my DD if their parents will object to them watching it if in fact they themselves don’t want to watch as it too scary. But is that naive of me?

Extremely. And how many teens want to lose 'face' having to say, 'My mum won't let me watch that' ?

I've spoken to DC about porn and I would not be happy about it being watched in my house or at their friends.

Which is understandable. But others have that view on violence or horror. They wouldn't therefore be happy at your house.

Why exclude some when you can find a happy medium?

I’m kind of of the opinion that the kids are old enough to tell my DD if their parents will object to them watching it if in fact they themselves don’t want to watch as it too scary. But is that naive of me?

Incredibly naive. Almost astonishingly so.

You really think one kid is going to stand up to 7 others and say “I’m too scared” or “My Mum
Won’t let me?”

I’m less concerned about the 15 very than the content of the film.

As for your DD being pissed off? And?

I would say no. A 15 cert film is more like an 18 cert of 20 years ago. Ever some PG rated ones have very questionable language and scenes in them

My DD12 wanted to watch IT with her 13yr old friend , I checked with friends mum and she didn't want her DD to watch it, so I said no..... although it turned out friend had already watched it anyway! I think it depends on the child. My DD loves scary movies, and I'm not too bothered about her hearing swearing. I def don't let her watch 18s and I still check the 15s that she asks to watch.

Definitely not without checking....because not only us there horror but also a distressing sexual/incest abuse topic. Not on!

I'd be clear you're not saying no, out of hand.
Explain that you can't let them without parental permission, and you're sorry you can't let them do it at such short notice.

So for next time, no worries, just let you know in advance, and then you can contact the parents.

Do they all really want to watch it?

I've never liked horror-wouldn't want to watch as an adult tbh.

As a scared child who watched psycho at a friends house. Say no. The other kids will tell you it's ok due to peer pressure. Let your dd be mad at you.

I wouldn't. I watched It when I was about 12 and was terrified by it - I already didn't like clowns but of course I went along with my friends at that age. It's a scary film.

Generally I'd say a 15 at 13 is ok, but not that one. I don't know why it's not an 18 tbh.

I watched it last year and had nightmares afterward and I'm 28! Although I am not keen on clowns at the best of times anyway

I wouldn't allow it for other peoples kids as you just don't know what rules they'd impose in their homes (regardless of what the kids may say). I recall dropping dd and a couple of other kids to the cinema for their friends birthday. They were supposed to see one film but birthday girl changed her mind and they went to another one which was probably 15's rated. They were younger. One mum was not impressed when she found out. After that I never offered to drop the kids as I felt I was being berated even though I wasn't the birthday girls parent.

I think 13 is ok to watch a 15 film. Get the boys to quickly ring their mum/dad on speaker phone for permission. Then you're covered in case they get nightmares!

I saw Nightmare on Elm Street at 13 and was freaked out for years, and had a real phobia connected with it, although this has lessened over time. I was too scared to say no and wasn't aware how frightened I'd be til it was playing. I honestly wouldn't watch it again for anything, more than 30 years later! Definitely go with another film, what's a laugh to some (I couldn't understand why my friends were all laughing at the gory scenes) isn't to others.

No way!

I struggle with scary films. Even now I wouldn't touch that.

I wouldn't have had the confidence to say to my friends that I wouldn't want to watch it if they were saying they did.

I did watch some films I'd rather not with them (not as scary as that).I still (over 20 years later) occasionally get flashbacks from them.

I would ask them all to confirm via message that their folks were okay with it. You don’t need to be in contact with the parents- just them. That would be my stipulation.
I did similar when allowing 14/15 year olds to drink alcohol at mine on Hogmanay a few years ago. They messaged their mum/dad and I saw the replies if I didn’t personally know the parents.
I’d imagine most parents of 13 year olds would be fine about It.

Definitely naive to assume the girls will tell you if their parents would say no

I would assume the girls are more likely to say they will be allowed knowing that they wouldn't.

Always check first like PP said they will all have mobiles. Would you be happy next year when your DD is 14 and she goes to a friends house and they let her watch an 18 certificate film. Your DD will say that you let everyone watch a 15 when they were 13 (are you sure that in year 8 they are all 13, some could easily be 12).

I would mind very much. But then my DD13 wouldn’t want to watch it anyway.

I wouldn't mind but I would expect to be asked. Surely you have been in touch with the parents to arrange the sleepover so can just let them know? I can't imagine DD going to a sleepover where I've had no contact with the parents at all.

I think it's ok but do ask all the parents first.

I first watched a 15 film when I was 11. Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Can't believe it is a 15 really.

IT will be pretty scary though.

Text the parents yourself. Don't ask the kids to. Even if they are 13, you should have parents phone numbers IMO.

in the age when kids have hardcore porn easily accessible on each other's phones, parents throwing strops over a popular horror film seems ridiculous.

Depends on parents really. People I know in real life wouldn't care, but on MN universe they might bite your head off.

I've got a 17 year olod daughter and a 14 year old boy and I wuld have been VERY annoyed.

I allowed them to watch certain 15 certificate films from about the age of 12/13 onwards but generally ones I had vetted first. I would not be happy about the decision being taken out of my hands.