To ask if you've ever been guilty of 'grannymandering'

[patchworkquilt1]

.... to get your kids into a certain school.
To accommodate your child minder / grandparents?
How did it pan out as your kids got older?
Did you get caught out?
If so what happened?

@patchworkquilt1 of course you have a choice use a childminder or wrap around care at a local school.
Do you not think most parents are in a similar predicament?
Your kids going to school near your mums is absolutely not your only choice

Honestly if you’re honest and speak to them they can be really accomodating

But unfortunately it’s often impossible for a primary school to be accommodating in this way when it comes to a Reception intake.

The problem here with starting at primary schools is the Infant Class Size legislation. Schools in England legally aren’t allowed to have more than 30 children in an infant class except in very specific and rare circumstances - such as child 30 and child 31 being twins, or the LA having made an error with an application that directly cost a child a place at the school.

If the school has 30 children in the Reception class, because they’ve filled up the class with children who live nearer the school than OP does, then they’re up against Infant Class Size legislation and their hands are tied when it comes to taking in extra children.

It doesn’t really matter how sympathetic and understanding they are about a parents circumstances, they’re simply not allowed to breach the legislation and admit an extra child because the parent’s childcare only works if the child’s at their school.
Not unless they employed an extra teacher and found an extra classroom first, and that’s hardly likely, is it?

Also with the mortgage areas: If money is a constant problem and worry, you could get help from debt counselling charity. There are several good ones but the one I have heard that is very good is "Christians Against Poverty". or CAP, you don't have to be a Christian. They will negotiate with the mortgage lender for you and help in many other ways. They may even be able to put a word in about your child's school needs because that is connected to your financial needs. You will lose nothing by just contacting them. They are totally non-judgemental and very kind.

patchworkquilt1 I won't forget you. take care. Elle xx

This happens here but the LA are on to it. Usually people are caught out and their child’s school place is removed and they are allocated wherever is closer to catchment school that has a space at that late stage. It has also been reported recently in the newspaper with the offenders named and shamed. If they’d just applied to the school from their correct address they might well have got a space

Also it’s nothing to do with schools being ‘understanding’ if all the entitled children are placed and there are still spaces and you’ve applied your child will get the space (on a first come first serve basis outside of additional needs) it’s that simple.

P.S. With CAP they arrange a monthly outgoings/expenses list and they undertake the things you have worries about. In your case the mortgage and if you have any credit card bills that are not going down or an overdraft that won't go away. They will explain. They negotiate with the people to whom you owe money and get them to accept a lower payment. They get a lot further than you can on your own. You send them a sum each month and they tell you by a list what you are paying e.g. gas and electric. insurance, so much allowed for food, same again for petrol, clothes etc. When they start running your finances it is like a whole ton weight has fallen from your shoulders. I do know - I have used them! If you get an emergency you phone them and they help from your fund you are paying each month. You will not have to worry about the mortgage then. They will deal with it.
I notice how people have suggested moving etc and living with mum. CAP would help with advice about how to go about this and whether it would be an advantage. You don't really want to sell up and put yourself out of the housing market if you can help it. You might be able to rent out your house if the mortgage company agrees - they probably would. I did this years ago and I have to say renting out your house can be a worry. But do contact CAP - Christians Against Poverty. They don't push the Christian part. They will give you confidential help. It's worth finding out if their way will be an advantage to you. They can do things you can't do on your own. Lots of love, Elle xx

To all the posters suggesting OP just rents her house out, since when could you do that on an ordinary mortgage? Especially one that's in arrears.

@yearinyearout

On pretty much every residential mortgage. It's called "permission to let"

All the people who are urging OP to not lie and do something illegal - whilst I respect your morals (really) I can’t see why this is worse than faking a religion
Which people do

I see little difference frankly and it happens all the time

All the people who are urging OP to not lie and do something illegal - whilst I respect your morals (really) I can’t see why this is worse than faking a religion
Which people do

Professing to have a religion, whilst morally objectionable, isn’t an offence in the same way as fraudulent use of address.

To be honest I just anyone who plays the system.

It’s not illegal to fake a religion. It’s impossible to read someone’s mind to find out if they are genuinely a Catholic for eg. If they are baptised and have attended church for the required length of time then they are entitled to a place. Obviously this is providing they aren’t using fake documents.
Faking an address is different. If you obtain a place by pretending you live somewhere else you were not entitled to the place and it is fraud.

So both are immoral , but only one is illegal basically

Let’s agree to disagree . Hope and trust OP works out a solution

You could also argue not giving a shit about your child's education is immoral. My parents choice was literally fake religion or send us to a school in special measures.

You could also argue not giving a shit about your child's education is immoral. My parents choice was literally fake religion or send us to a school in special measures

So it’s ok to potentially take a place from someone who actually practices religion?

Yep, that’s way more immoral than sending your kid to a school in special measures.

It's not right but most are going to care about their own kids more than other people's kids. Obviously the ideal is to have suitable school places for all and some flexibility but that seems like a pipe dream

Obviously the ideal is to have suitable school places for all and some flexibility but that seems like a pipe dream

Which is why it’s so important there are consequences for playing the system.

- whilst I respect your morals (really) I can’t see why this is worse than faking a religion
Which people do

I assume you mean to get into a religious school. With the schools around here, you can't just rock up to the school and shout Hallelujah Praise the Lord or a few Hail Marys and they say Amen have a place.

You and your child have to have been a church goer and participated in the church community for several years so it requires some effort and forethought. I would argue that this makes you part of the church community whatever the strength or lack of belief. You have to prove you are part of the community in the same way you have to prove you live at a specific address.

There are going to be consequences whatever you do with a lack of good school places. There will always be some kids not reaching their full potential because of going to a sink school.

There are going to be consequences whatever you do with a lack of good school places. There will always be some kids not reaching their full potential because of going to a sink school

How disingenuous. You know absolutely that’s not what is being discussed.

The consequences must be in terms of real repercussions (including losing the place) for gaining places by fraudulent means.

Yes, no point getting in to a school only to be kicked out later.

I do feel for you OP and completely understand your predicament. Is the school oversubscribed? You might be worrying over nothing.

Unless there is a strong reason for staying where you are, why don’t you get you house into a rentable condition and consider renting somewhere close to your mums as a back up plan, or selling up completely, if it’s possible you may need to move? If it’s closer to work, school, your mum and where the children’s social life will end up, it would make sense.

You could get an estate agent round to advise on if you need to do anything to your house. If you were able to live with your mum for a few months in between moving out of your place and finding a new one I think that would be completely reasonable as long as you were planning to stay, and ended up staying in the school catchment area.

stopfuckingshoutingatme. Exactly. Both are wrong.

Honestly, speaking as one who was a Teacher before changing careers, and was a Deputy in a very large Primary school, I can tell you the Child's home has a far greater influence on the child's progress, future chances and what they learn. Even a child in a terrible school - and I went on to work with the Inspectorate - can still do remarkably well when the parents' attitude is to value learning, encourage reading, discuss things, take the child to places of interest and not just funfares, watch educational programmes such as ones about Nature or life in other countries, and generally develop an attitude of enjoying finding things out. Encourage your child to write their own books! Not just story books but instruction manuals! Especially boys who don't like writing. It helps with reading. I used to encourage them to make incredible "machines" from junk and then write instruction manuals. Their reading and writing developed by leaps and bounds and we never shied away from big technical words!
So take hope, a bad school can never stop the progress of a child from a good home.

All the people who are urging OP to not lie and do something illegal - whilst I respect your morals (really) I can’t see why this is worse than faking a religion

One can wind up with a deception sentence, both are immoral.