To ask if you've ever been guilty of 'grannymandering'

[patchworkquilt1]

.... to get your kids into a certain school.
To accommodate your child minder / grandparents?
How did it pan out as your kids got older?
Did you get caught out?
If so what happened?

Could you , would you temporarily move in with her and rent your place
Would she handle that ? Then you can save some money and legit get the place

I don’t judge you for this BTW . Hard times

Also I don’t believe schools (maybe
Some ) really investigate this

Just seen people
Lying to get their kids into a CofE

So it’s ok for (mainly) MC parents to fake religion but not for a struggling single
Parent in desperate straits

I’d try and do it . Sorry but I wound

At our school it would be very apparent you had lied as soon as they start school because the catchment is so small everyone walks and you pretty much know which specific estates people are walking from. Very oversubscribed school and if one of the kids started saying they lived miles away they would definitely get anonymously reported

Just seen people Lying to get their kids into a CofE

I'll say this again. Admissions don't look into your heart. They look at what you do. So if the criteria is to get your child baptised, and then turn up to church regularly, and you do that, then you have done nothing wrong from an admissions point of view.

In spite of seeing the many sides presented and agreeing with them, if your children DID live there, it would be fine? (Morally. I mean, i disagree that it's alright to be cutthroat, but I've never seen my selflessness help another's child)

not really taking someone's place, as its your mother's right to use school? She's just not using it?

And, my ds was in lovely school. But they tortured him bc of dyslexia. We moved to another school. I was responsible for transportation and his younger sister followed to new school.

I met several parents who preferred his old school to the new one and we basically simply switched. It didn't matter to numbers bc they took our place and we took theirs.

The rule was if there was room, we could move if we had good reason.

Best if luck to all who are going through this struggle.

Your dc will be grown before you know it. Then your real worries begin.

In our area there is a polish Catholic Church and the priest is well known to sign for everyone

At our school a new
Priest started and people lied and got their forms filled

I can’t personally lie and fake religion . I judge these people.

Way more than I judge OP

OP do some homework on the local page and understand . A lot
Of schools have high turnover . Explore options

One of my friends looks after her grandchildren while her daughter is at work. The children attend the primary school nearest grandma's house The daughter lives about seven miles away and drops the children to her mum on her way to work. I also know another parent (local Councillor) who has sent his children to a RC school quite a long way from his house. Dont know why. There is an RC school nearer.

Given your circumstances the school may well be understanding. Might be best to be upfront with them. Maybe a little prep first. Then a private chat with the Principal.
Do the children sometimes stay with your mother overnight? Do you? Isn't it the truth that you can only afford childcare if your Mum helps you.? Bestvof luck

Why can't your kids stay over their grandparents house a few nights a week and have their items there. That should establish some kind of residency, no? What do divorced parents do that have shared custody where they spend alternating weeks with each parent and the parents don't live in the same school district? Do the kids go to two different schools? No, they don't. Try to apply this with your be parents. You do what you need to to survive. No one commenting against you is doing shit for you so you do you.

Could you take in a lodger and that extra income would pay for some childcare?

My mum did it for me! I got bullied by teachers and kids for living in a worse area from day 1! It’s awful we eventually moved to the area when I was in year 8 so I could finally walk too and from school but the first 8 years of school were lonely as I couldn’t hang out after school easily!

Forgot to mention my grandma died when I was in reception so i had been going there before and after school every day until then!

Move in with your mum for a few months either side of the start of the school year so technically you’re not lying. Rent your house out to cover/help with mortgage. Then when your DC is settled and applications are forgotten you can move out again? Start changing your post to your mums house now. It can be done just make sure you cover all bases and obviously don’t put your children in a position to lie (they’d only mess it up on you anyway ) make sure they’re told granny’s house is their house now etc.

Absolutely not! Good Heavens what would this teach your children? I'm horrified!
I know the school situation is a big problem especially in some areas, but dishonesty isn't the way to deal with it. I'd never be able to sleep. At the time or for the rest of my life - wondering when someone would realise.

Passenger42. But now your daughters think that lying, fraud - if that is what it is - is OK. Obviously your ex and you think it's OK or you wouldn't have gone along with it. I find it despicable. Don't you have any scruples? Any pride in yourself? Or do you think that having enough money to rent another place in the right address gives you the right to get your children into a school which they are not really eligible to go to? Your children will be growing up thinking dishonesty is fine, especially when it benefits them. Shame on you!

patchworkquilt1
My first response was my immediate one upon reading your first question. Now you have said / I had a chance to read a lot more I can see how very desperate you are!

I feel so sorry for you. As you said:
This is a true case of desperation... rock and a hard place

Desperation is terrible. But please may I beg you not to do something dishonest and worse - illegal - because you are desperate! Please. It is jumping into a desperate solution that leads so many good people into trouble. Just hold on, stay as calm as you can, trust that there must be a way round this. I am quite sure there is.

Luckily your child is still quite young. However I would go as soon as you like to the school near Granny and explain to them what your situation is. You do not know until you ask. There are many other suggestions here about your house so I will leave you to mull over them. But it should give you hope.

I know it won't come to this but even if you had to stop work to collect your child from school (and you won't have to, but just thinking of worst case scenario) then you would manage this somehow and you would make life work out for you and your family. You are strong. You already hold down a job as well as being a mum. Never give up! Doing the wrong thing is worse than giving up, really! If you did something dishonest and got caught you could truly mess up your life, your job, lots of things could get worse. You don't need to do anything so drastic or beneath you. It isn't best for your child, even if some misguided and selfish dishonest people here say it is. It teaches the child to be dishonest. Even in the cases where people moved their child because that school is failing him/her (as several examples have given with bullying or other)by pretending to live somewhere else and deceiving the new school people - even then, it is wrong! My own daughter was severely bullied. The school let her down disastrously - I even thought of taking them to court! BUT I did not demean her or myself by cheating and lying to get her in to another school. There is always another way, an honest way.

If you ask for help you might be surprised at how people will want to help you. And did you say the school is your old school and not oversubscribed or particularly highly rated? Wouldn't a Head Teacher be pleased when a former pupil, even if it were before his/her time, came back and said they wanted their child to go to their old school an please could s/he help because there was a problem? Please reach out to the appropriate people in education and see what happens. I did that with my daughter - I went to the LEA, and they were exceptionally kind and a school nearby heard about her and arranged her travel and even lent us some uniform to set her up straight away!

Please don't let yourself down, you are doing a great job, keep your head held high. Always be proud of yourself. Don't let yourself down. Lots of love. Elle

I just wouldn't!

If I were doing it (which I'm not), I wouldn't announce the fact on a public forum.

My religious school literally had more parents that faked religion than not because many of us lived in the catchment area of a failing school.

If there aren't suitable school places for everyone people are going to try all sorts. Apparently fake baptism certificates are now available.

Pay for a childminder like everyone else?

You're in mortgage arrears. Your mum does childcare and lives next to the school and will let you move in with her.
I'd move in with her, sell or rent out your house, you'll be able to save money, including the cost and time of the extra 30 miles a day round trip to drop kids off and pick up from your mum. Also no stress about getting caught lying to the school.

A family I knew did this.
Got caught out.
Child list place at desired school near the nan and needed up in a special measures school near their actual home.
Second child- did same thing (stupid? But thought if they got one in, the other would get moved up waiting list to get a place there too) got caught again, ended up with another school milessssss away. So they fucked themselves really.
Now rely on afterschool clubs and are debating what to do about applying for child 3: apply for undesired local school (dc1), school miles away (dc2) or lie again and try to get in to nans local. They can’t afford to move nearer nan and dc2 school is way oversubscribed in dc1’s yr group (dc2 in bulge year).

Too much stress and drama for me. The system exists to make it fair for the majority. If primary admissions is this bad, dreading what their high school admission dramas will be!

I would advise not to lie about it. If the school isn't particularly oversubscribed I'd apply. Try and speak to the school and the authorities and appeal, appeal, appeal! I think you have genuine reasons for doing this.

Mind you, my experience of people appealing for school places is based in Scotland. I'm not sure if they're more stringent on rules where you live.

Honestly if you’re honest and speak to them they can be really accomodating I got in to my high school honestly my mum wrote to the school and explained the full situation to them and they let me in no problem! The primary school were fab with me as well they never made it hard for me to stay there which I’m thankful for! It was a great school and it was what my mum needed at the time and the school understood that my grandma looked after me before and after school and weekends that my mum had to work they were basically co parents to me which sounds similar to your situation your mum is helping you out in the way there dad usually would if he was around! Like you said be honest with the school and they make allowances also I didn’t take a space from a local child they actually over subscribed our year by about 6 kids rather than turn away!

@notsurewhatshappening
Omg! I can't believe I didn't think of that!!!

Thanks everyone for all your help...I'm stressing myself out thinking about it so I'm gonna put it in a box for a few months and meet with the school closer the time

@Ellyess your reply has me in years. You are a lady. Thank you xxx