Bullied out of my job

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I've been bullied at work for the past 3 years. I raised a formal grievance which proved this. I'm now off work with work related stress. It's all got to much and the anxiety has taken over my life.

Yesterday I met with my manager who basically said they can't change the bullies behaviour and I need to change how I react to it! There isn't a way forward for me now and it looks like I will have to leave a job that is perfect for me and I really enjoy it. I'm shocked at the lack of support I have received from my managers. It all feels very wrong. What would you do in this situation?

I’d talk to a lawyer.

Give ACAS a call and see how they can advise you. The first thing they always advise is to raise a direct grievance with the workplace, which you obviously have and then to contact them if you're unsatisfied with the response.

I've used them and found hem really helpful

They should be dealing with the bully and telling them they must change their behaviour or they will be starting disciplinary action. That disciplinary action should lead all the way to dismissal if they continue to bully you.

They don't have a leg to stand on, you could obviously take them to court and get a payout but it's sad you would have to leave the job you love. Maybe get the lawyer to write a letter for you stating they must deal with this or you have no alternative but to quit and claim constructive dismissal.

I don't really understand if you raised a formal grievance and it proved it then I assume you're saying they found in your favour? If this is the case then there should be repercussions against the bully. Can you explain further?

Was this latest meeting with your manager minuted or was it informal? If the latter I'd craft a carefully worded (i.e. don't make it look blatantly like you're gathering evidence) email to try and get something in writing to confirm what they said.

Have you raised a formal grievance yet? Potentially this is constructive unfair dismissal. Check your house insurance and see if you've got a legal helpline.

I raised a formal grievance which found in my favour. A behaviour agreement was drawn up which we both had to sign something I wasn't happy about as it wasn't my behaviour in question but I didn't want to be awkward. There seems some sort of bias towards this bully, they get away with all sorts of things and nobody can understand why. Someone else left because they to were bullied by this person but they didn't raise it formally but did informally.

If feels so wrong to have to leave.

Are you in a union?

Ok so they signed a behavioural plan. Have they complied with it? If not then raise another grievance.

Talk to ACAS.
Let your manager know that you are doing this.
What is your HR department like?
And yes... raise another grievance.

Are you in a union? If not, join Unite . They can support you .

Also, do you have house insurance? Often, that comes with free legal advice with a helpline you can contact. Check your insurance policy

Can you see if you'd have a case for constructive dismissal? I assume that you have read all the relevant policies.
I also assume thzt HR are involved - what is their take on the managers stance?

I'd also consider putting in writing a summary of your meeting, referencing company policies as appropriate.

Maybe something along the lines of
The outcome of our meeting yesterday is that the company accepts that I am being bullied by Mr X - reference signed behaviour agreement. However, as the company is unable to change Mr X's behaviour, it is down to me, the victim, to change the way I react. This is contrary to the bullying/grievance policies etc.

You need to call ACAS. They will advise you of how to move forward and if you have a case to raise against the workplace.

It will take 10 minutes and it will arm you with what you need to know to now move forward and what the next steps you need to take are

Yes definitely call ACAS - they will give you correct advice.

If you can/do join a union, be aware that they will most likely not help you as it is an existing problem and many have a qualifying period to stop people joining only when they need help.

My role is within a school I am support staff, I'm not a member of a union. My manager does cover HR. Today I've been sent leaflets about counselling and mindfulness. They really don't see the problem.

Are you in an LA school in the UK? If so the HT is typically the person responsible for hire decisions and HR. Have they helped at all or are they the issue? If they are the problem you need to follow the school grievance procedure to raise this issue. If you are unsure contact your chair of governors - give a brief explanation and ask their advice for what you do next. - It sounds like they haven't admitted bullying but have treated this like a clash of personalities between staff members - hence the behaviour agreement between the two of you. Be careful and do everything by the book or you won't have a leg to stand on.

Join the union ; if you’re in a school most support staff are unison. Give them a call and see what they say. If your a la school then HR will be the council and they should know better. If it’s onky got as far as the head then take it to the governors.

I have little confidence in the Head because of the way this has been handled. They have admitted it was bullying, my manager said yes we see it. They are trying to wriggle out of everything. I have mentioned the behaviour agreement which has clearly been broken and now they are looking into it to see if it still applies as technically the grievance has ended. Surely staff are expected to behave respectfully and professionally without having a specific agreement in place and no matter what their feelings are towards others.

Can I ask what form this bullying is taking, can you give examples?

I mean since the agreement.

Most recently undermining me infront of a hall full of students and later slagging me off for all to hear. I obviously reported this in detail to the head who missed the point completely and told me to stop wasting their time.

Have you put together a diary of all the things that have been said and done to you that have formulated the bullying?

I made a log of everything initially and put everything in detail in my grievance. It was pretty hard to deny. I've still got all that. After the grievance I tried to put it all aside and not let it get to me as much so I stopped writing it down. The trouble is it's all caught up with me again and dragged me back down. I really don't like having to keep reliving it all, it's very stressful.

How does he undermine you and slag you off? I'm trying to understand why the head doesn't see the issue but you do.