To not let DD have the same haircut as me?

[Plipplops]

I've got an undercut - less of a style statement of any kind, rather that I have really thick long hair and this means there's less of it to deal with.

DD (who's 11) has very thick long hair too, and wants the same for the same reasons (she loves her long hair but there's so much of it to wash and dry which I completely sympathise with).

I don't have an issue in principle with her having it, but think we'll look a couple of idiots walking down the street with the same hair if we both have it done? I'd never consider us wearing the same clothes so AIBU in saying no to this?!

On the contrary, I think you should insist you both wear the same clothes, telling her it will be fun.

Yeah you are. You have it for practical reasons. Bit of a cheek to say to her she can't for the same reasons.

Could.it be styled different way/different lengths

She can have the same type of cut done in a different way. Try consulting a hairdresser before you start worrying about it.

So she won’t be bothered by it but you will be? Aren’t you the adult? If she has long thick hair too, and wants to be rid of the same problems as you did, why won’t you let her?

If it suits her why not? People with similar features/ similar type of hair often have similar hair cuts. You would still look differently.

Will her school allow it? I would think an undercut was an 'extreme' hairstyle in school-speak.

It's unlikely to look exactly the same though isn't it?
Do you have exactly the same colour hair? Does it grow in exactly the same way? Could you have different partings etc?

A bit mini me ....... Draw the line at matching tats though.

What’s an undercut?

I'd check with her school too, some have very strict rules about what is an extreme cut. Jealous of your thick hair though.

Yes, YABU. Let her have her hair how she wants (within reason!)

I watched an old video of a family holiday recently, and realised that DD (then 14) DS (then 17) and I all had very similar hair - long, wavy and dark brown. With our family resemblance too, we looked like a set of Russian dolls. I never realised at the time. Was quite funny.
No one appeared to stare or notice or care, though... I don’t think!

I think if it’s for practical reasons then I can’t really see a problem

What are you twelve? She wants it for practical reasons. Stop being so bloody vain and help her out. You can always grow yours out. But put her first, not your own vanity and concern about what others might think.

An unfortunate realisation I've had as an adult is that me and my mum have the same face shape and same hair type and so inevitably the same hairstyle suits us both, though I have mine longer and messier. Your daughter is just a bit quicker off the mark than I was!

Not sure if school will allow it - I'd need to check. Yes you're right, for practical reasons I should definitely let her get it done I just think we'll look a bit ridiculous!

Could get hers done in a different shape or something I suppose (mine goes to a point).

Are you all honestly saying if you saw us walking down the street next to each other you wouldn't judge??!

Would the school even know if she wears her hair down?

An undercut is quite an extreme solution. A hairdresser should be able to reduce the volume significantly by just layering it (mine used to use a razor blade to do this when my hair was very long and thick).

Unfair not to let her if it's a practical solution you have also chosen but definitely question with school - if she has long hair I guess they insist on it being tied up so it will be obvious? As PP said, there may well be another alternative.

what is an undercut?

I’ve just emailed school to ask them - she normally wears it in a pony tail so you’d be able to see it, and ‘extreme hairstyles’ aren’t allowed. She wouldn’t want to break the rules so if they say no it’s a non-starter anyway... Thanks for your opinions x

Still wondering what an undercut is...

I had an undercut once (for the same reasons) but I insisted that mine didn't show - does your show? Or could she have it so hers doesn't show?

I have long and thick hair, I had an undercut but the upkeep of it - having to have it shaved back in very frequently because my hair grows very quickly- was a nightmare. I grew it out and have had my hair layered and make sure my hairdresser goes over it with thinning scissors.

If the school don't allow undercuts due to 'extreme hairstyles' maybe layering and thinning would be a good idea, can keep the length and lose some thickness.

This is an undercut goo.gl/images/n8VuUQ Doesn’t show at all when hair’s down...