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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say to being a guarantor?

86 replies

newmun · 23/01/2019 15:55

I have a new mum friend known about two months

Shes asked me to become a guarantor on a loan ?

I said no but feel bad. Aibu?

OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 23/01/2019 16:27

Not unreasonable at all to say no - you barely know her, so it's not your problem at all. Generally, if someone asks you to be a guarantor and you like the person and want to help, it's actually a much better idea to offer to lend them the sum of money yourself. Because you won't be charging 300APR interest, nor will you be at risk of bailiffs on your doorstep. (Obviously you should only do this if you trust the person and you can afford to do so...)

FamilyOfAliens · 23/01/2019 16:28

If you watch that show you’ll know that when you’re a guarantor, if the debtor can’t pay the debt becomes yours.

And if the cost of administering the debt increase over time, that becomes your debt too.

I can’t believe she even asked you.

Romanov · 23/01/2019 16:32

2 months?? sure why not, what on earth could go wrong!?

( i see you have already made your mind up )

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 23/01/2019 16:32

Confused Absolutely no

PlumpSyrianHamster · 23/01/2019 16:33

It's actually a better idea to just give them the money because you know damn well that you'll never see a penny of it again.

And don't loan her anything of value, either, OP. We all had that with BIL over the years, too. It would get lost or broken or someone stole it Hmm. Or agree to go in on a contract with her, phones are a common one. Had that, too. He stopped paying on it so we were held responsible for the phone that he'd sold soon thereafter.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 23/01/2019 16:34

NO, was the correct answer, well done OP.

TheOneAnd · 23/01/2019 16:35

Don't do it. You don't know her!

I felt uneasy about being a guarantor for my son and he's...well, my son!

If it all went pear shaped no one would have any sympathy for you.

If she needs a guarantor she’s got shit credit so is poor at managing her money. Or she could just be very young and not have built up any sort of rating.

mbosnz · 23/01/2019 16:38

HELLS NO!!!!

As I said to FIL ad infinitum, no matter the emotional blackmail and pressure he put on us to do so. And would to anyone and everyone that asked.

MacarenaFerreiro · 23/01/2019 16:39

She's a CF to even ask you.

NO WAY on earth would I be guaranteeing her loan.

CountessVonBoobs · 23/01/2019 16:39

I wouldn't be a guarantor for anyone, ever, EXCEPT one of my own children who had a bloody good reason for asking AND it was an amount of money I could afford to write off.

It's a huge and frankly cheeky ask. And if you need a guarantor for an unsecured personal loan then you already have bad credit. Say no and feel fine about it.

MitziK · 23/01/2019 16:40

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no (etc)

If she needs a guarantor, she can't afford the loan.

DowntonCrabby · 23/01/2019 16:41

Absolutely say no and don’t bite at any attempts make you feel guilty or push you into it.

WitchDancer · 23/01/2019 16:41

One of my friends was talked into being a guarantor on a rental property by someone he didn't know that well. They didn't pay any rent and trashed the property before disappearing.

He ended up paying something like £10,000 to get everything paid off as obviously the landlord came after the easy target.

Since then I have always politely decided, saying I wasn't in a financial position to do so at that time.

supersop60 · 23/01/2019 16:42

No.

supersop60 · 23/01/2019 16:42

It will be interesting to see if she is still your friend.....

AdoraBell · 23/01/2019 16:43

Solid gold diamond encrusted NO lit with neon lights.

Ethel36 · 23/01/2019 16:45

She needs a guarantor because they dont trust her to pay as she has poor finances on paper. That person should be a close family member. If she falls behind with payments, that means you are liable for all payments. If you don't pay on her behalf, they will take you to court. An old school friend I had not seen for over ten years contacted me on fb to ask if I could be her guarantor. When I said no I can't. She flipped out and went mad! So glad I didn't. My neighbour was one for a friend. He thought it was just for two years on a rental property. It turned out the landlord kept rolling it over. So 4 years later, my neighbour got a letter asking him to settle thousands if unpaid rent. Otherwise he would be taken to court. He had no choice but to pay it off. He didnt see his friend again! So don't feel bad, just say no thanks.

ALongHardWinter · 23/01/2019 16:45

She's asked you to be a guarantor after knowing you only two months? Good grief! I think she's the one who should feel bad,not you.

Walnutwhipster · 23/01/2019 16:47

A fairly new friend of my husband asked the same last week. I said absolutely not! I'm angry at him for even putting DH on the spot like that. He needs one because of past bad debts, which shows his reliability with money. Why on earth would someone he barely knows put themselves on the hook for his rent. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

arranbubonicplague · 23/01/2019 16:48

YADNBU - it's absurd to guarantee for the overwhelming number of even long-term friends and family. Somebody you've known for 2 months - I can only think there are nothing but difficult reasons that underpin her even asking such a thing. And those are all reasons to refuse rather than to consider the request.

WaxMyBalls · 23/01/2019 16:48

Make sure those memories of CPWTIA stay fresh in your memory OP, because if you do this then they'll be turning up at yours soon enough!

PurpleTrilby · 23/01/2019 16:53

No no no no no! I would not do this for anyone. I find it helps to separate business issues in my head, this is a business issue, it's to do with money, so I have a different, much more hard faced approach to matters that are purely to do with friendship. Helps to never, ever mix the two. People seem to think the two things can intertwine, absolutely not. You want to talk money? I'm in business mode, end of story, you are not dealing with me as a friend at that point. Keep. It. Separate. And again, NO!

MissConductUS · 23/01/2019 17:01

Some CF's plan on not paying the loan, knowing the bank will pursue the guarantor. I might do it for my kids but no one else.

Girlicorne · 23/01/2019 17:04

100% no. The only person I would ask to do this would be my mum, I 'd never put it on a friend especially not a new one!. The only people I would be guarantor for would be my children if they needed it in later life. Definitely don't feel bad, she shouldn't even have asked you!

dinkystinky · 23/01/2019 17:06

I believe its one of those rare universal agreement on response AIBUs - no, dont do this. You would be insane to agree and its strange she's asked a virtual stranger to do this.

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