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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked at boss telling me off for being late back

469 replies

onlyafewdaystogo · 23/01/2019 11:10

I am retiring from work next Wed, after many years working for this company. Last year our dept got a new Manager who's a bit of a stickler.

Anyhow, due to upcoming retirement several groups of colleagues have been taking me out for lunch in the last few days. Yesterday I went to an Italian restaurant with some people from another Dept that I have a lot of dealings with.

We had a lovely relaxing lunch and I got back to work at 3 o'clock instead of 2.30. My boss knew this group were taking me out. He called me into his office about an hour later and told me off for being late back from lunch and said it's the second time it's happened in recent days and I'd have to watch my timekeeping.

AIBU to be Shock. It's always been the norm when someone is retiring that they spend the last week or so winding down and not really being bound by the normal time bands etc.

My colleagues were really surprised and annoyed when they heard.

OP posts:
paxillin · 23/01/2019 22:21

I have only ever had one job with a boss like that. We all had 35 h contracts, 9-5. Because she was so rigid with her clip board, nobody came a minute too early or stayed a minute too late. 1 h lunch break was religiously adhered to by all as well. Proper work-to-rule, all her long-term employees were very unproductive.

ddl1 · 23/01/2019 23:09

Without knowing more about your job, it's a bit hard to tell whether you or your boss are being U. If the job is one where where there are too few staff and everyone would have to rush around doing extra work to make up for your being late, then you are a bit U. The same if members of the public would be seriously inconvenienced, e.g. a healthcare job. However, if it's just that the boss is a stickler for the rules, then I think she is a bit U not to relax the rules for someone in their last week before retirement. Either way round, I definitely disagree that it is 'grassing your boss up' to mention the episode to your colleagues. All employees will discuss workplace incidents with one another, unless they are explicitly told that something is confidential. I would think it inappropriate to gossip about it with customers, but not with one another. Anyway, I wish you a very happy retirement!

ReflectentMonatomism · 23/01/2019 23:35

Can't believe how many petty posters there are moaning about half an hour's worth of presenteeism that won't even impact on anyone else

And how surprising (not) that leading the “but the rules! The RULES” Is someone both a school teacher and a union rep.

I worked with someone who had been military for a few years before coming to industry. He appeared completely unable to understand that staff are not recalcitrant Squaddies, engaging in petty trivia with experienced and valued People twice his age (incendentally proving himself the sort of tosser second lieutenant sergeants hate). Eventually someone laughed on his face and told him to fuck off, and the HR director (rightly) said that he couldn’t care less and his resignation was Welcome at any time. In the aftermath we found out how he had run an outstation before he came to the main hq and concluded we were very lucky not to have had a major ET on our hands; that outstation had been young and no one had the nerve to call him on his assholery but had someone done so, it would not have ended well for us.

ittakes2 · 24/01/2019 03:13

You said it was normal for this to happen when people retire...but he's new and he probably has not had experience of this. Sounds like a misunderstanding to me - you are doing what others have done but he was not aware of the past - he is wanting you to work the hours you are getting paid for which as a boss its his job to enforce! You are leaving - I would put it in the past.

JenniferJareau · 24/01/2019 06:59

but he's new and he probably has not had experience of this

Part of joining a new company is understanding and adjusting to its culture and ways. Just because retirees did not wind down at his last company, does not mean this is the case in a new company.

he is wanting you to work the hours you are getting paid for which as a boss its his job to enforce!

OP doesn't have any work to do. This is where a decent manager would let it slide as being 30 minutes late back from lunch impacts no one in this case.

Mummadeeze · 24/01/2019 07:09

My Manager was leaving to go to a new job and barely came in to the office for the last two weeks before she left! I was a bit sad because I was going to miss her but Senior Management didn’t bat an eyelid. She was out at long lunches nearly everyday or shopping or getting her hair done etc. Your Boss was petty and mean in my opinion.

SittHakim · 24/01/2019 07:11

Some of the posters here would implode at the way I behaved in my last couple of weeks in my last job! I had a sequence of lovely lunches with friends and clients and frequently got back to the office an hour late, and on my last day we had a party and I didn't do anything after lunch except clear my desk. I'd spent five years working over and above my official contracted hours, and my manager quite reasonably reckoned it was payback time.

Your boss is an idiot, and it will come back to bite him when people won't go the extra mile.

FuckingYuleLog · 24/01/2019 07:17

Everyone banging on about the fact that the op had no real work to do seem to be forgetting that all the other people attending these extended lunches DO have work to do.

percypeppers · 24/01/2019 07:27

Everyone banging on about the fact that the op had no real work to do seem to be forgetting that all the other people attending these extended lunches DO have work to do.

You're probably forgetting that the vast majority of people are working over and above their hours these days. IME most businesses are getting at least 30 minutes overtime out of everyone these days. Returning 30 minutes late is hardly a crime.

Although the majority of people on here can't see the problem it amazes how rigid people's thinking are and what constitutes being acceptable. Really hope I don't work with any of those types any time soon!

percypeppers · 24/01/2019 07:27

30 minutes overtime every day that is....

gamerwidow · 24/01/2019 07:34

Everyone banging on about the fact that the op had no real work to do seem to be forgetting that all the other people attending these extended lunches DO have work to do.
What that got to do with anything?
The other people were from a different team and their manager wasn’t bothered about the extra 30 minutes.

FuckingYuleLog · 24/01/2019 07:38

Yes but it’s not a simple issue of just the op being given some slack because she’s retiring is it? It’s a whole load of people going for numerous extended meals over a week. Surely their other colleagues are then going to think that they are entitled to return when they like as well? Unless the business works on complete unstructured flexitime being relaxed with everyone isn’t going to work. And being relaxed with some will lead to resentment.
If someone has been onto the ops manager about half their office swanning in and out as they please during this week of retirement festivities I think it’s perfectly reasonable that the manager say something if it is impacting others. It would probably be better for business for them to just let the op have the last few days off than to release staff to continue the week long celebration. It just seems like complete overkill.
I’m sure one extended lunch would have been fine (and nothing was said the first time) but after the second people must be wondering how many more farewell dinners there are going to be.

gamerwidow · 24/01/2019 07:40

Again you’re missing the point these are two different groups of people the only common factor is the OP. So both groups only had one extended lunch each. This would not be a big deal in most workplaces.

MaisyPops · 24/01/2019 07:45

If the manager had been an arsehole over 10/15 minutes on one day then I'd be saying they need to get a life. But half an hour and more than once sends a message to the wider team that coming and going as you please is fine. I can see why they mentioned it.
To me (unless you team has flexible house and such as hoc arrangements are common and accepted) then being late back multiple times does seem to be taking the piss a bit.

JenniferJareau · 24/01/2019 07:47

Surely their other colleagues are then going to think that they are entitled to return when they like as well?

Not if they had any common sense they wouldn't. If there was a piss taker it is that person the manager should talk to.

Jcsp · 24/01/2019 07:52

One of my friends (a teacher) had her performance management review and classroom observation in her last week before she retired.

She also had the feedback too.

Enjoy your retirement. Took me a while to adjust to mine - about a morning.

Willow2017 · 24/01/2019 07:54

Why cant people rtft these days?

Manager is not new to the company. Op has said that having nothing to do before your retirememt day is the norm for her company and being taken out to lunch is common practice.

Other teams manager was with them so when they went back to work was nothing to do with op.

Op has NO work to do anyway. Not being there is not impacting on anyone.

2 extra half hours in 2 weeks is hardly a lot she hasnt said she is going out to lunch every day next week too.

How many hours do you imagine has she worked for free over the years compared to an hour she has had this week?

Happy retirement op.

DopeyDazy · 24/01/2019 07:54

I'd make him a nice coffee and stir a big lump of spit into it.

WaxMyBalls · 24/01/2019 08:01

Seems different industries have different rules, all the people bigging up the Disregard for everybody else the OP has must just work in offices

Offices like the OP works in, you mean? That would make them more, not less qualified to judge the situation than people like you who work in other industries.

RedTartanLass · 24/01/2019 08:05

I'd take a 2 hour lunch today ... what's he gonna do? Sack you??

And when he pulls you into his office, just apologise and take another 2 hours tomorrow. Oh the fun you can have. What can he do?

gamerwidow · 24/01/2019 08:07

Before I worked in offices I had worked in retail and in call centres and I couldn’t believe how lax the control was when I started my first office job 20 years ago. The idea that I could go to the loo when I wanted or just get up and get a cup of tea of pop to the shop for 10 minutes whenever I fancied was like some kind of utopia Grin.
It’s hard to understand different working cultures if you haven’t experienced them.

OurChristmasMiracle · 24/01/2019 08:08

Thing is if he lets it go you coming back half hour late from lunch more than once in a week he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on with other team members who will still be there after you retire. He needs to ensure he is fair with the whole team so once he was probably ok to let go, but he can’t really do it more than that. A one off late back he can let slide.

SaturdayNext · 24/01/2019 08:16

I would have let the 1st 1 slip due to her retirment but 2nd 1 is a clear piss take!! And if thats you attitude im glad I don't manage you, bet your a pain in the arse

And what exactly would you achieve by making a fuss, @itsyersel? OP wouldn't be doing any more work by getting back early, because she hasn't got work to do. All you would do is make everyone realise what a tit you were.

ReflectentMonatomism · 24/01/2019 08:17

Thing is if he lets it go you coming back half hour late from lunch more than once in a week he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on with other team members who will still be there after you retire

Yeah. He does. They are not retiring the following week.

One place I worked had a semi-official budget for retirement and leaving meals. They were often extended all afternoon things, and on one occasion someone fell asleep on the train and woke up at midnight in Newcastle. It was also phenomenally hard working and productive, shipping profitable products Well ahead of schedule and often under budget.

echt · 24/01/2019 08:25

Oh, do get over yourself, echt

What does that even mean, percypeppers? Oh, that would be my reminder to not get personal if rational debate is the target. However if your target is to single me out for unpleasant comments, then mission accomplished.