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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked at boss telling me off for being late back

469 replies

onlyafewdaystogo · 23/01/2019 11:10

I am retiring from work next Wed, after many years working for this company. Last year our dept got a new Manager who's a bit of a stickler.

Anyhow, due to upcoming retirement several groups of colleagues have been taking me out for lunch in the last few days. Yesterday I went to an Italian restaurant with some people from another Dept that I have a lot of dealings with.

We had a lovely relaxing lunch and I got back to work at 3 o'clock instead of 2.30. My boss knew this group were taking me out. He called me into his office about an hour later and told me off for being late back from lunch and said it's the second time it's happened in recent days and I'd have to watch my timekeeping.

AIBU to be Shock. It's always been the norm when someone is retiring that they spend the last week or so winding down and not really being bound by the normal time bands etc.

My colleagues were really surprised and annoyed when they heard.

OP posts:
Polarbearflavour · 23/01/2019 17:28

Itsyersel - I’m really not a hard worker. 😂 I’m probably a bit lazy really! I’m happy to get a “Good” rating in appraisals. Sometimes even a “Very Good” as it’s all about playing the game at work. I generally seem to go unoticed.

Working hard makes no difference if the company goes under or they have to make redundancies.

PigletJohn · 23/01/2019 17:34

you said he's new.

It's quite possible that he has a reputation to build and doesn't want to become known as soft on bad timekeeping or other office behaviour.

"You let her do it, so I can as well"

JenniferJareau · 23/01/2019 17:34

Clearly this manager has poor judgement.

OP has no work to do
OP's role replacement is not there yet, so no one to get back on time for to train
OP has no colleagues covering for her so no work time is lost for the company (the line manager of the team that took her out can take it up with the team if they were late but we have no idea if they said it was fine)
OP's slightly later return did not impact other colleagues as it might have done in another industry i.e. retail meaning a colleague might have to go to break 30 minutes later than expected.
OP has no work to do so the later return has no impact on profits / future company earnings.
Company culture allows a wind down close to the leaving date

Anyone who said OP was unreasonable, you are the type of manager that threads about nightmare managers on MN are started about.

alfagirl73 · 23/01/2019 17:34

Wow, reading a thread like this makes me feel extremely lucky to work where I do! It also highlights the difference between people who are "managers" and those who are actual true "leaders".

I do have a genuine question for the people who consider the OP's actions unreasonable and who fall into the "non-flexible/micro-manage" camp - and this really is a sincere question because it constantly baffles me...

Why do you consider your way of "managing" is better than the flexible leadership approach when it is proven time and again that flexibility, mutual respect for colleagues/your team, and a "give and take" approach is more productive, creates a happier work place, and longevity in staff who are happy to go the extra mile and in many cases, put in WAY more than their contracted hours?

In contrast, it is proven time and again that power-trip micromanagement and jobsworth approaches result in low morale, a "work to rule" attitude in staff, high turnover in staff, colleagues doing the bare minimum and low job satisfaction - so why do you consider that better? I am genuinely interested - why do micromanagers never look at true leaders and think "perhaps I should do THAT"? To me it's a no-brainer because the results speak for themselves, but I'm honestly interested to know the mindset.

percypeppers · 23/01/2019 17:36

@echt, I suggest you stick with teaching as your adherence to rules may just make you the most miserable and unliked person in the office.

I retrained to work in the NHS. No long lunches here unfortunately but that is because the role is very different. One thing I miss about business is about having a bit of flexibility and not being too anal about rules.

slashlover · 23/01/2019 17:51

mutual respect for colleagues/your team

Like OP telling her manager that she was going to be late instead of assuming it was okay/that manager knew? Manager knew she was going out to lunch - did OP tell him or did he overhear, she's never said? Like OP saying that people spend the last week winding down but seems to have taken 2 weeks?

Well I wouldn’t work in an industry that was so strict on time keeping!

Like retail/call centres/shift work? If someone where I work comes in late then previous working the previous shifts can't leave. If someone is late beck from break/lunch then other people can't take theirs.

Polarbearflavour · 23/01/2019 17:54

slashlover - I choose not to work in call centres/retail/shift work. I like the flexibility of office work, working in a rigid, shift work environment would not suit me and I would be miserable.

Polarbearflavour · 23/01/2019 17:56

I think a lot of people who work shifts have no idea how most offices work.

You don’t have to ask to go to the loo, you can take lunch whenever, many offices have flexi time systems and no strict start times.

MadeleineMaxwell · 23/01/2019 17:57

Idiot of a boss really?

Yes, that's why I wrote it.

Shimy · 23/01/2019 18:05

Slashlover - retail/call centres/shift work? is there anything in OP's posts that might suggest she is in any of these roles? Hmm

TheElementsSong · 23/01/2019 18:10

Like retail/call centres/shift work?

As the OP hasn't suggested she works in any of those areas, why not just go the whole hog and invent a scenario where the OP is a cardiac surgeon who has left her patient at death's door, chest clamped open, on a bypass machine, the heartless lazy cow?

Greyhound22 · 23/01/2019 18:11

As a manager I would totally let this slide. If it was a good member of staff I would think 'how lovely' and if they weren't I would think 'oh well I'm getting rid of them at the end of the week. Total non-issue.

However some people do take the piss. Two men I used to work with refused to do any training or learn anything new on the systems as they were 'winding down to retirement' when they had two years to go 🙄

slashlover · 23/01/2019 18:13

I didn't mention the OP, I was replying to a PP. Confused

PentreBachCymraeg · 23/01/2019 18:17

'Just jeep swimming, just keep swimming'.. You'll be off out of there next Wednesday. Enjoy your retirement FlowersSmileWink

PentreBachCymraeg · 23/01/2019 18:18

*Keep even Blush

username7000 · 23/01/2019 18:22

You should feel sorry for the rest of the staff who will have to put up with a petty box . Seriously who pulls someone for lateness who's days from retirement, no need .
My boss bit of a timekeeping stickler if 2 minutes late back from lunch has something to say Confused

username7000 · 23/01/2019 18:24

@alfagirl73 100% agree with you , and then they seam all shocked when you hand resignation in .

Punstow61 · 23/01/2019 18:29

What GertrudeCB said. Particularly the popular, well thought of bit.

iklboo · 23/01/2019 18:51

Manager knew she was going out to lunch - did OP tell him or did he overhear, she's never said?

Yes she did.

I told him the other Dept had invited me out for lunch in the local Italian and hoped that was okay and he just nodded.

Mrshoneyneedsanewhat · 23/01/2019 19:06

Go and see him tomorrow with a comprehensive list of all the times you’ve worked over and above your hours. Say that as he was so put out about you being half an hour later than planned, you assume it’s essential that he knows about all the extra half hours you’ve put in over the years. You look forward to being remunerated for them by this time next week 😀

echt · 23/01/2019 19:24

@echt, I suggest you stick with teaching as your adherence to rules may just make you the most miserable and unliked person in the office

Unpleasant and unnecessary. Threads like this work so much better if you stay away from personal reflections and stick to the issue.

Menta1elf · 23/01/2019 20:00

Is your Manager for real ? Tell him to pull the photcopier out of his arse and fucking lighten up.

As other posters have said, I'll bet when you worked over your hours and weren't paid, and Management turned a blind eye to all that free work they were getting....they do that don't they ;-)

Life is too short to concern yourself with jobsworths like him trying to belittle others. Enjoy your retirment and leave a big fat steaming turd in his desk drawer on your last day.

rslsys · 23/01/2019 21:24

Call HR and raise a grievance over his giving you leave to go for lunch and then delivering a bollocking for having done so!

You are out of it in 5 working days - they will have to follow due process.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 23/01/2019 21:57

Gosh, so many new entries to the 'bellend' column on my Mumsnet spreadsheet. Can't believe how many petty posters there are moaning about half an hour's worth of presenteeism that won't even impact on anyone else.

Wine Happy retirement OP, and happy week of lunches and rearranging your pot of biros.

percypeppers · 23/01/2019 22:19

Oh, do get over yourself, echt.