Aibu to let toddler have 2+ hours of screentime a day?

[Sheilasfeels]

I am at home with my nearly 2 year old. I work hard to make sure she's getting everything she needs, but on the average day I can read books, use playdough, play with duplo, play a letter/shape/puzzle game, give myself a pat on the back for being such an active and involved parent, and then look at the time and it's only 10:30 am! The toddler starts shouting for Mr Tumble or Dugee and I cave because I'm at a loss for what to do next. I make sure she gets a physical activity once a day, and a nap, but then there's another big gap between getting home and tea time and once we've played building blocks and drawing and tea parties there's still two hours to fill before dinner. I don't have the TV on in the background so it only goes on for kids programmes.

I have no idea how to fill all the day without my cbeebies crutch. What do you do to keep toddlers entertained and screen free?

She is also not a napper and never really was...

'Mummy play'. Oh yes.

Or in my DD's case MUMMEEE MUMMEEEE MUUMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE!

Thank goodness they are loveable, or otherwise ...

My 3yo is up at 5, is asleep about 7.30.

So yes I quite often have CBeebies on while he trundles around trashing the place and I cling onto my remaining shreds of sanity.

We’re out every day too. Easily 9-ish to 1-ish, usually later. But that early wake! If he woke at a normal child time his TV watching would be greatly reduced!

When dd was 2, we went out twice a day or once for the day. Groups, swimming, park, seeing friends. She probably watched an hour or two of tv if spent a lot of time at home.

2 hours + sounds like too much to me. Why not dc out more often for a walk? The park, play barn, zoo, swim class, play dates etc. Fresh air is much better for dc than screen time.

The more they go out on fresh air and run about, scoot etc the more tired they will be and more likely to take a nap. If they are in and sitting about watching TV they won't get tired.

I taught mine to cry for Daddy if they woke up in the night.

caringcarer, you want to have mine for a day?

We live in the countryside - I can tip her out in the back garden almost as soon as she wakes up.And she can run around playing for ages. Then we go for walks and to the park and to the shops and so on. But when I get home from all of that, what is important is that she sleeps. So I do what works to make her either sleep, or slow down and not do too much.

As for crying for daddy - we're neither of us daddy, but only the other day we had the unfortunate revelation she can climb into bed with us without any help!

Shantoto
Have you tried a groclock? It fixed our early wakings in a few days - best £20 I ever spent!

namechange30 Yep we have one and he ignores it completely. 🤷‍♀️

Going against the grain here. When ds was little I had cbeebies on in the background most days. He would sometimes watch, most times not. It wasn't a treat or special or something to look forward to.

We did stuff everyday (apart from when he was ill). Dog walks, played together, looked at books, baking, shopping, play groups, soft play with his cousins, went to our allotment, cared for his guinea pigs, went to our ponies. We were always busy doing something, but I didn't limit screen time.

He rarely watches TV now. He loves his tablet and I limit that because he loves it. But I think it is more the novelty (he's only had it since December). He has it for an hour after school then for an hour after tea. And to be honest he will be so busy once the weather picks up (ponies, allotment, longer dogwalks etc) plus full time school I think he does need some down time on cold, dark miserable evenings.

I know similar aged dcs who had limited screentime who are even more obsessed with tablets and devices. Ds enjoys his, but in 1 hour blocks. Anything longer and he tends to put it down and find something else to do.

I don't see the harm in appropriate tv being accessible as long as you aren't parking them in front of it for 14 hours a day. The attention span of a toddler is pretty short anyway, ds used to maybe watch a short program like Octanauts and then wander off when the credits came up.

Well, I've been supervising messy play in the kitchen ('making coffee') and I'd happily stick some telly on at this point.

Sorry, that was supposed to say SINCE HALF PAST SIX. That was the whole point

A lot of those with toddlers that still nap might be surprised at how much screen time increases when they stop. Often they’re still exhausted - but refuse to sleep - and TV time is essential for them to relax and have some quiet time

Passive screentime is harmless. According to the most recent research from Oxford University academics, it is literally as damaging as eating potatoes or wearing spectacles.

This will not stop those who think they know better from ignoring this scientific outcome of course.

My advice to the OP - don’t stress about it. Life is stressful enough.

I still don't see why more than 2 hours every day is necessary.

Even if it replaced a nap for quiet/rest time. You could do 1 hour after lunch and 1 hour in the evening.

If nobody was letting their kids watch tv or wouldn't be available all day long. So you are definitely not the only one.vwe watch more in the winter, I love being outdoors but park with a 2 year old when it's-2 is not my idea of fun. I'm a SAHM so 5 days to fill. Our typical routine:
Mon school run till 9, come home, Peppa goes on, I tidy and get ready. Go out to shops or something. home for lunch. Afternoon, tv on again, do chores, get duplo or jigsaws out. School run at 3, home for snack, homework, try to do an activity with both boys. Tv, dinner, more tv, bath, story bed.
Tuesday more of the same
Wednesday playgroup, then after school we visit family so no screen time
Thursday swimming lesson during the day
Friday playgroup am, after school take my eldest swimming so no screen time till after 5 30pm.
I wish I could manage with less tv but I'd never get anything done. And I've tried going to an additional playgroup but it's really repetitive. Having 2 days free so we can do whatever works well for us.

If you have a toddler up before 6 and who has never really napped (looking at you Duracell boy), what do you do.with them without t.v.? There isn't much I'm inclined to do between 6 and 8 am. Especially at weekends.*

*Disclaimer: those years are now long gone; dc can do.unsupervised tv and toast now, but I would not have survived the toddler and new born stage without it. Mat leave days were loooooong days during the winter.

definitely encourage independent play, stickers, duplo etc. start small and pop to the loo and take a min longer with new toys left out. also recommend rotating toys so new and appealing.

We had the TV on a lot when DS1 was 2. I was pregnant with DS2 and struggling with SPD and it was a hard winter with several rounds of snowfall that stuck around well into the spring. Getting out in freezing weather, when using crutches and dependent on a reluctant walker to propell himself home was a misery (couldn't push the pram due to pressure on my pelvis). It could take him 30 mins to get home from the children's centre which was only 300m away!

He always had a prolonged attention span and could play for a couple of hours with train set and duplo, but his interests were limited, so he didn't engage with things like crafts. He liked looking at "busy" books with detailed pictures. He was self sufficient and struggled to do co-operative things with me at that age.

By the summer when I finally felt human, stopped sitting on frozen sweetcorn, could move and we'd got past chicken pox month, I put a timer on the TV socket so it automatically clicked off after a certain time in the morning until evening. He howled and tantrummed for the first week (I strategically made sure I was well away from the TV when it went off), and after that he got over it and just moved on when it went off.

He's an intelligent child whose knowledge and interests have been boosted by programmes like Go Jetters and Octonauts (maybe not so much the Thomas and Fireman Sam ), now moving onto more adult documentaries (David Attenbrough etc). He's fit and active, plays independently and has a sensible amount of screen time for a child of his age. The TV was a lifesaver during a difficult phase of the toddler years and did a lot to keep us sane. Long live CBeebies!

A lot of those with toddlers that still nap might be surprised at how much screen time increases when they stop.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has a toddler who has long stopped napping, unfortunately just after dc2 arrived and still only allow very very limited tv. Definitely not daily. It’s hard, and I don’t get a lot done but dh & I are ok with that.

My experience with my kids is that the more access they have to screens, the less able they are to occupy themselves. We don’t usually watch TV May-Sept and they go from wanting it a lot when we first switch it off to never asking for it, all within about a week, it’s like watching an addict detox. But then that’s also when it’s warm and they can be outside so it’s easier for them to occupy themselves.

I prefer interactive iPad games that make them think to tv. Can you download some nice games that have an educational element? I’m not sure if two is too young for something like Reading Eggs but we started DS in that at 3 and he loved it, plus he learnt to read.

I can’t believe some people have it on all day in the background! What’s wrong with silence as a background?

My dd now 18 watched a fair bit of TV growing up and hasn't done her no harm

I can’t believe some people have it on all day in the background! What’s wrong with silence as a background?

I carry out home visits in my job.

Most parents have the TV on when I go round. If there are no children at home, it’ll still be on. I normally ask if it can at least be muted, or if we can move to another room. I just can’t compete with the sound.

I did one visit and although the TV was on for the children, they weren’t sitting and watching, they were climbing all over the furniture, trying to sit on their mum’s lap, etc. It’s such a different way of watching TV to when my DC (young adults) were small.