My friend says I'm selfish ...aibu?

[hallierr]

So my friend is getting her hair done tomorrow and we've agreed to go out afterwards.
I agreed to go to the hairdressers with her and wait but I've just remembered I need to go to the doctors.
I live near the salon (10 min walk ) and she said she would drive to mine and leave her car and walk to the salon as she's scared driving into town.
She's asked me will I walk her into town and walk back up and meet her when she's done.
I said would it not be easier to just drive into town.
She's refused and expects me to walk her there and back.
Aibu to not?
I even suggested il get her a Uber on my account and pay.
Just tomorrow is so busy.

Dear Fucking God, talk about First World Problems

This

I genuinely think you should suggest counselling to her. To not want to walk down a straight street or be in the hairdressers alone is simply not normal. There is something very, very wrong with her and she needs help so she can lead some semblance or a normal life if you're not there. Truly, there is something very, very wrong with her so forget the hairdressers book her into a session with a psychologist. But then she'll probably want you to go with her.

Recommend google maps and do not pander to her. I sympathise as my family member has parking anxiety so driving to yours instead is fine imo but not to demand you follow her everywhere.

Is she scared of walking as well as driving then?? If she can't hack you having an important other thing to do like the GP then given her fear of travelling from A to B in any mode of transport including her own legs then she should get her hair cut another time!

Jesusfuckingchrist. I have absolutely crippling anxiety, to the point that I sometimes have to navigate my way around the house by holding onto windowsills/walls or go down the stairs on my bum. Getting me out of the house is at times a major cause of celebration.

I'd never DREAM of making this sort of demand on anyone. I'd be too fucking scared to!

Open up google maps on her phone. Put in the request for directions from A to B. Turn on location. It'll show her exactly where she needs to go, and will even chart her progress along that ten minute walk along a straight road.

How completely bloody ridiculous! I was amazed at someone asking of it was ok to go into a Spoons yesterday, but now this! How do these people live their lives at all? And will people stop blaming everything on anxiety? Yes I am aware that this can be a debilitating medical condition for some unfortunate people, but it seems to be wheeled out as an excuse for everything on here. It is natural to feel anxious about doing some things, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do them, and this is very different to a diagnosed medical condition! And asking someone to sit with you for two hours while you get your hair done, just no. I can barely sit for two hours of boredom getting my own hair done, no chuffing way would I be doing it for someone else!

Put the address onto google maps on her phone. It will walk her there. Good grief. She's not five.

YANBU

I have suffered with severe anxiety relating to going somewhere unfamiliar alone, social interactions with people I don’t know well and large groups etc. I even used to freak out at the thought of ordering food at a bar (more the fear of screwing up everyone’s order than talking to the bar staff though) and even if she DOES have this as an underlying condition, i’d say she’s being ridiculous!

I worked hard throughout my 20’s to take control back and whilst the anxiety still rears it’s head on occasion to the above, I refuse to let it stop me from trying to ‘adult’.

If she doesn’t have anxiety as an underlying cause (maybe try to find a subtle way to suggest she see a doctor) then she’s just being a downright CF. IMHO

Why doesn't she just go to a hairdressers near to where she lives and that she can go to by herself her- not that she's can't keep this appointment by herself. She shouldn't be driving at all if she 's not confident to drive into a town either.

I even suggested il get her a Uber on my account and pay.

So in summary, she can’t drive, can’t walk, and can’t pay for taxis. But can deal with, and presumably pay for, two hour hair appointments.

Why are you wasting time on her? She sounds useless and draining.

Good grief. Just say no.
If necessary suggest she parks somewhere else, where she would be more comfortable walking to the hairdressers from, and then drives round to you afterwards.
I think you need to stop enabling her.

I genuinely think you should suggest counselling to her

Cheaper for her to buy some big girl pants, not everything's a jackpot for the counsellors. There are times when 'Get a grip' is the best response.

Sounds like she's agoraphobic to some degree. The worst thing you can do is pander to it, so no you're not being selfish.

I used to be agoraphobic and fought hard to recover. Tell her she will manage and do your own thing.

she’s being ridiculous.

Do NOT change your Drs appt for this ffs

This really weird. Why does she need you to walk her somewhere in the daytime? I'd she anxious? Has she suffered an attack recently? You know your friend better than us, I would advise being caring to her needs of she's suffered some sort of trauma. But if this isn't the case then she just needs to grow up and get over it, it's just a ten minute walk to the hairdressers.

She needs to grow the fuck up! How pathetic

So pathetic! Offload her OP, she sounds insufferable.

The irony. She’s the selfish one! She blackmailing you into dealing with her anxiety for her. Google maps is a good idea.

Your friend is obviously taking the mick.

Maybe it’s time to stop infantilising this supposed grown up.

No I wouldn’t. Cheerfully tell her to bash on.

I used to have an anxious friend who was a bit like this. I remember she asked me for directions for work in my locality once. It was a really simple, straightforward route but she would not grasp it. She wanted me to take the time out to meet her and get in the car to physically show her the route in person rather than describing it to her. I refused. She got arsey about me being a crap mate. I dumped her because I was sick of her shit.
And I lived happily ever after.

She's being silly and controlling. I get anxiety too...but wouldnt ask a friend to do that. I force myself to drive. Please look after yourself first. Go to your drs appointment. Tell her shes still welcome to park at yours and walk to and from town. She can meet you at your house afterwards. This will be good for her. Once shes done it..she 'll do it again. So it's actually better for her. She is a fully grown woman...not a child.

Please update us with what happened, later OP.

Tell her to stop being such a weed. It’s not your job to treat her like a five year old.

Don’t enable this. I can understand the driving (a bit) but not being able to walk in a straight line for 10 mins is not right. I do suffer from anxiety so I have some sympathy for her and she’s only lashing out at you because she’s scared but you wouldn’t be helping her by enabling her and she will feel pleased with herself if she manages the walk on her own.