Highly absorbent vaginas

[Rachyabbadabbadoo]

Thought I'd try Yoni sanitary towels today. Their packaging blurb says "your vagina is highly absorbent. Just like our pads".

I haven't noticed a difference in the swimming pool water level when there are lots of women swimming.

AIBU to think my vagina isn't as highly absorbent as it should be?

The French do what with their who now??

Update

I’ve been rescued. My husband came home, swooshed me across the tiles like a Vax carpet cleaner, and was able to break my airlock by running me back and forth over the saddle of the door.

Incidentally, anyone know a cure for splinters in a sensitive and highly absorbent area?
Asking for a friend.

Oh god, I am laughing out loud here.... luckily only the cat is here to hear me. Thanks everyone!

You lot are hilarious!!! Thanks for the laughs xx

Thankyou for making me laugh - this thread is awesome!

I'm going to change some of the fish tank water now. Good to know that instead of faffing around with siphon hoses and buckets I can just park my rear end in the tank for a bit (hope I don't absorb any actual fish...) Any ideas on how to release the water I've absorbed so I can do it in reverse with clean water afterwards?

"Medra

Next time I need to clean up a spill, I’ll just use my vagina rather than some kitchen roll."

🤣 Better than blue roll.

#chokesonwine

goes off to do experiments in the bath....

Do you women realise the gift we could give to humanity? We could stop cliff erosion, stop homes falling into the sea, stop the icebergs melting! All we have to do is go for a paddle in the sea! Raising tides sorted! 🌊 🧽 👩

I genuinely can't get my head around the logic here. Apart from the fact it has been approved by people who have no idea how the female body works yet are presumably over thirty...

It's saying your vagina absorbs things so buy our product which er, does the same thing. That's no way to sell things! Imagine a Gillette ad which said, "we know you don't need to shave so just buy our razors as well"

Alas I fear Dear Francis could have been saved had there been more Ladies on shift in the mine on the day of his demise.#Poldarkpoolpull.

#chokesonwine

Try absorbing it through yer yoni. Less chance of choking and an added thrill if it’s a sparkling wine. 😉😁

I am not in Marketing, but God I wish I had been in the brain storm that came up with this ad campaign....

The image of Johnny dealing with the windows had me weeping

@PositivelyPERF - trying it now (and it is sparkling wine - added thrill!). Might need to phone an ambulance later...

I always knew us Women had the answer to Climax Climate Change.

Might need to phone an ambulance later... You’re not supposed to use the bottle. 😱

polite term for the Royal Family

You know how when you get in the car on a freezing cold morning and the windows steam up a bit?
Start your neighbours day with a chuckle as you position yourself to demist with your muff.
Clear windscreen in no time. Yoni magic.

Can't believe no-one has already pointed out that sanitary towels don't go in your vagina...

Or wondered if Brian from Hull was involved in the making of this product?

Onecabbage - me too!

DH has just said "you're on MN again, aren't you". It think the snorting gave it away!

😂😂😂😂

I was pnarrffing at tishboom being suckered to her kitchen floor, that, being of 'a certain age' I may have let out a small amount of, um, pee. But then I remembered the absorbent qualities of my Yoni so sucked deep.

So. Leather lounge furniture and Newly Acquired Knowledge.

999 or 911?

Lol

Yikes, who knew the French word for sanitary towel was 'serviette'?

It's on all the packages here. They're commonly called pads here, but technically they're "feminine napkins."

And that sentence in the packaging is nonsense. Even if vaginas were absorbent (mine's not, hope it's not defective), why did that mean they have to use organic cotton?