Inheritance AIBU?

[Daisy1175]

I lost my Dad end of last year and have received an inheritance, I put a sizeable chunk into my DD's account.
DH thinks I am wrong by not doing the same for DSD, firstly I couldn't afford the same, so would have to halves it, secondly it was my DD's GD and therefore I think for my DD, Thirdly I don't want to!!
AIBU?

If your dd isn’t also dd to your dh, what does he think about any money your dsd may get following the death of his parents? Will he expect your dd to benefit? Will he divide that money equally between them?

Inheritance money is always tricky and does tend to bring out the worst in people. Money and emotions certainly do not mix.

All those saying you're either a blended family or your not, if DSD's maternal grandfather died and her mother put some inheritance in DSD's name would you expect DH's ex to give DD money as well ? I think you're right OP.

Would DSD's mum do the same for your DD?

That is hardly the same relationship, is it? The DSD’s mum has no relationship with the OP’s child whatsoever. On the other hand, the OP has had a long relationship with her DSD.

If the OP and her husband maintain totally separate finances then it’s probably not unreasonable. However, if they work on a ‘family money’ basis then absolutely, the separation of this money out of reach of her partner could be questioned if divorce were to occur. And aside from that, it makes the OPs feelings towards the child very clear - not really family. I am not sure an equal amount would have been necessary but a token at least would have been appropriate.

I guess you missed the bit where OP says her DH does the same for both DC. hmm

I really doubt that, on mumsnet men are cocklodgers if they don't pay for a stepchild, but scroungers if they accept anything for their own children.

Any money from OP’s family belongs to DD. Any money from DSD’s mother’s family belongs to DSD. Any money from DH’s family should be split between both of his daughters. That way both girls inherit solely from their mother’s family and jointly from their father’s.

I would have done the same OP. DSD has her own DGPs, but in all honesty even if she didn't I still think you did the right thing.

I would give something to your Dsd.
When you got with your dh you also had to accept that he came with a child so both children should be treated the same.