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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this mean for 2 year olds birthday?

65 replies

Dundundun · 22/01/2019 11:24

My DD turns 2 at the end of Feb, I'm a single mum and her dad isn't involved so get no maintenance or any help of him. We are moving house on the 9th of Feb so finances are very tight atm.

I was going to get her a slide because she likes slides and other than that I was just going to wrap up stuff she needs rather than stuff she will like such as some new shoes and clothes and a cute cutlery set just so she has stuff to open.

Is that mean? She got loads for Christmas, some stuff she hasn't even opened yet and is still in boxes and I know she won't know what a birthday even is but I feel really mean about it.

So AIBU to just get her one thing she will like and the rest stuff she needs?

OP posts:

WTBE · 22/01/2019 11:25

YANBU. In your situation I would do exactly the same. Hope she has a wonderful day

Ifailed · 22/01/2019 11:26

She's two, she will enjoy the slide and unwrapping her presents, and I'm sure she will have a fun day. No need to spend cash you don't have on something she'll barely remember.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 22/01/2019 11:27

Forgive me for being utterly pragmatic, she is two, she doesnt know or care waht a birthday is, and wont until she get to school. She doesnt need stuff to open, if you're doing it for a photo call, please dont. You have tight finances, why would you shell out on pointless wrapping paper?

Crunchymum · 22/01/2019 11:29

I have two January children. For their early birthdays (they are 1 and 4) I rewrapped some of their Xmas stuff and bought a few bits in the sale.

I wouldn't get away with it for the 4yo now but she didn't know any different when it was her 1st / 2nd birthday. I'll do same again for little one next year!!

I rewrappped gifts we bought, not things they were given by other family members!!

OutPinked · 22/01/2019 11:29

YANBU. They don’t really understand at that age and definitely won’t remember it. I would do the same.

NoNewsisGood · 22/01/2019 11:29

Two things:

Yes, as above, she's two. A big cardboard box will be the highlight of her day
You have my sympathy. Early Feb birthdays don't get much easier as they get older! Too far from Xmas to make one big present, but too close that they need nothing new again by then! It's really tough.

arethereanyleftatall · 22/01/2019 11:30

Not mean at all. I'd just wrap up the stuff she hasn't yet opened from Christmas.

CmdrIvanova · 22/01/2019 11:30

My DS is coming 2, he will be getting a Cosy Coupe that we decided not to give him at Christmas. That's it. I can't even remember what my DD got for her 2nd birthday and I'm quite certain she doesn't remember either.

Oh wait - she got a scooter (The el cheapo Argos one), and was allowed to have cocopops for breakfast.

Floralhousecoat · 22/01/2019 11:33

You sound like a loving mum op. Getting her bit she needs and the slide she can enjoy for years to come sounds lovely. Think of it not as being mean, but as investing in her future by not wasting money on stuff she doesn't need. It's an attitude we could all benefit from adopting. I'm starting to do the same with my ds now, I say no to wasting a fiver here and there and will put that away to build some savings for him.

Good luck with the house move. Xx

anniehm · 22/01/2019 11:36

She's 2, she will prefer the wrapping paper. Enjoy that this is the last time you can do this! Crayons, colouring book, stickers, play dough - what else does a 2 year old really need.

IsItThatTimeAgain · 22/01/2019 11:39

Not mean at all.

Sarahjconnor · 22/01/2019 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OnwardsAndUpwards10 · 22/01/2019 11:42

She's 2. She will be happy with whatever she will get, hope she has a fab day!

Original poster

Dundundun · 22/01/2019 11:46

Thank you everyone feel much better about it now 🙂

OP posts:

BadBadBeans · 22/01/2019 11:47

Sounds perfect to me!

For my son (who is 2) for Christmas this year we just gave him things he needed. A duvet and pillow set, a rucksack, and a pair of gloves. He absolutely loved all of them, but he especially adored the duvet and pillow!

Have a lovely day :)

ColdBrexitWithMilkForBreakfast · 22/01/2019 11:53

It's not even slightly mean. 2 year olds barely understand birthdays. They know as much as you tell them and that sounds quite nice actually.

I quite often got things from charity shops, freecycle and facebook selling pages for free or next to nothing so that they had bits to open and that I didn't feel guilty about giving away later when they got bored. Never waste money on things that will played with for 3 minutes at this age.

SunnyScot89 · 22/01/2019 11:57

Forget the slide (or wait to buy it in the summer when money will hopefully be better!), just get her a sticker book and a cheap (£2 or £3) toy. She will be over the moon, and won't understand why she's getting presents anyway. If you have stuff she "needs" then you can wrap that too... but to be honest, my boy was more disappointed at opening clothes presents (unless they had tractors or dinosaurs on them!).

Make the day special for her, give her treats(have cake/chocolate for snack time instead of fruit). Do a special activity (painting or a trip to a different park). They don't understand about money and will appreciate the time more than anything. Please don't spend money you don't have on a 2 year old.

QwertyLou · 22/01/2019 11:57

OP your plan sounds perfect and lovely.
2yos are not super focused on presents.. she’ll have a ball

paap1975 · 22/01/2019 11:58

She has no concept of what a birthday is at that age and she definitely won't remember it, so you're only doing it for yourself (or for show). It would make absolutely no difference to her if you dodn't get anything at all.
If she'd enjoy it, maybe do her a cake and a candle, but she doesn't even need that. Save your money for more important things.

Namestheyareachangin · 22/01/2019 11:59

I've got a January-born 2 year old birthday coming up too - she took 4 days to open all her Christmas presents, just not interested! So no, not mean at all. We're not even doing a party this year as she really didn't enjoy the Christmas do we had - at this age it's more for the parents than the kids I think. And we're knackered and broke from Christmas!

winsinbin · 22/01/2019 12:00

All two year olds want is something to play with and the attention of their parents. I wouldn’t even bother wrapping up stuff she needs. It’s setting a precedent that more than one present is required for her to be happy. Give her the slide (which sounds fabulous) and use the time and energy you would have spent wrapping other things to enjoy time with her.

Namestheyareachangin · 22/01/2019 12:00

I am going to do her a good cake though as she loves looking at pictures of her first birthday cake in her album

ilmmaiss · 22/01/2019 12:02

Not mean at all, my Jan born kids (all of them!!) don't get much for birthdays and they fully understand. And when they're young they don't even know! Wrap up a bunch of stuff they need or you already have for the photos they'll see when older and to give them the fun of unwrapping (which is all they like at that age anyway lol) and don't beat yourself up over it. You sound very sensible

NutElla5x · 22/01/2019 12:03

You are looking to the future and being sensible rather than mean.I would give her the unopened Christmas stuff rather than wrap the clothes if it were me. But really the slide and some lovely quality time with mummy is all a two year old would need to make her happy.

TokyoSushi · 22/01/2019 12:05

Totally fine, perhaps you could go to Home Bargains and get a few sticker books, crayons etc as well, you'd get loads for £5.

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