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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this mean for 2 year olds birthday?

65 replies

Dundundun · 22/01/2019 11:24

My DD turns 2 at the end of Feb, I'm a single mum and her dad isn't involved so get no maintenance or any help of him. We are moving house on the 9th of Feb so finances are very tight atm.

I was going to get her a slide because she likes slides and other than that I was just going to wrap up stuff she needs rather than stuff she will like such as some new shoes and clothes and a cute cutlery set just so she has stuff to open.

Is that mean? She got loads for Christmas, some stuff she hasn't even opened yet and is still in boxes and I know she won't know what a birthday even is but I feel really mean about it.

So AIBU to just get her one thing she will like and the rest stuff she needs?

OP posts:
Inmyvestandpants · 22/01/2019 12:06

When my DS was 2 we got him a sand pit (£25 from Argos) but all my NCT group got their children trampolines (£200-300). I felt like such a terrible Mum. I was suffering from PND and eventually saw a therapist who got me to see the error of my thinking.

On the day itself, DS was so overwhelmed by the presents he had indoors (from relatives) that he had a massive melt-down trying to process it all, so we kept the back curtains shut and showed him the sand pit the next day. We took him for a day out at the seaside and he loved it, and so did we (probably not such a good idea in February - this was a summer birthday). A nice day out together with a few treats, like ice creams, will be far more valued by your DD - and by you when you look back - than a pile of gifts.

What does a 2-year-old really need?

Charlie97 · 22/01/2019 12:06

She's two she needs nothing more than the love of a good mother....which you are showing you are!

The slide would be nice, but do look at second hand ones, some are in excellent condition and she won't know any different to it being new.

StartedEarly · 22/01/2019 12:07

At two she will be thrilled with a birthday cake and a fuss. A slide is a great present for a two year old but if you haven't got it yet I wouldn't buy one. If you still have things unopened from Christmas she won't remember them. I would wrap one up and put the rest out of sight and bring them out one every few weeks.

I don't like the idea of making essentials into gifts. I'd never give clothes or bedding to a child as a present. If money is tight it's far better to have one thing however small that she will love.

MamaRaisingBoys · 22/01/2019 12:13

I think it’s fine to not spend much but I wouldn’t wrap clothes as a gift.

I’d re wrap something, spend a fiver in the pound shop on craft bits and have a lovely cake

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 22/01/2019 12:13

Absolutely not mean at all - quite the contrary! My Granddaughter will be 2 in February - like your little one, got plenty at Christmas. I'd thought on a Grimms Rainbow (too expensive), or a mini trampoline (daughter checks out everything - this was vetoed - apparently they cause a lot of injuries). So, thinking on a toy microphone + the two beautiful/immaculate charity shop books I bought recently + some money into her Premium Bond account.
Just make sure she has a little Birthday cake + candles.
The day will be lovely Flowers

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 22/01/2019 12:14

Slide is a fab present ! Keep a couple of large boxes from the move, cut out a door and a window and let her loose with some washable markers. Toddler heaven.

HomeMadeMadness · 22/01/2019 12:14

When my eldest was 2 I bought him loads of gifts. He got really bored opening it all and was a bit overwhelmed. Your plan sounds perfect.

PattiStanger · 22/01/2019 12:16

Please don't spend money you don't have, she's 2, she doesn't know what a birthday is. Get a cake and something small you know she'll like.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 22/01/2019 12:19

When my DS was two he unwrapped a Percy toy train, had his cake and that's it.
The other presents ended up being strung out over a few weeks, he wasn't bothered.
She's only two, not spending money buying pointless tat she couldn't care less about is not mean at all.
Have a lovely day x

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/01/2019 12:19

I’ve always given dd things she needs or will come in handy amongst her other presents. This is what you’re doing. Dd is 10 and the Christmas she said she thought being bought knickers was a bit weird. I pointed out that she’d get them anyway, I was just giving her more things to unwrap and gave her the choice not to do it anymore. Tbf she is shortly coming to an age, where she isn’t going to want daddy see her pants. But there’s always socks... socks/ undies etc are ofunicorns / horses, whatever her fave current theme, not just random. I regularly give her clothes and shoes.

A slide sounds like a nice idea but you will have to take it when you move and the weather... Do you have room enough in the house to set it up? Dd has boundless energy. When she was that age, she had great fun with a peppa pig toy tea trolley. Scooters also great and as they are small and children not very fast at this age so perhaps can be played with inside.

stuckinarut · 22/01/2019 12:20

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AmericanEskimoDoge · 22/01/2019 12:21

That's not mean at all. :) She'll be so excited about the slide that everything else will just be icing on the cake! I'd do whatever makes sense to you.

belleandsnowwhite · 22/01/2019 12:22

My 4-year-old birthday this week and he got one toy and, a McDonald's happy meal and a birthday cake. He was very happy. A slide is a great present for a 2-year-old.

AdaColeman · 22/01/2019 12:24

It would be rash and foolish to spend money that you don't have on presents for a two year old. So keeping it low key is the sensible way to go.
You could rewrap some of the untouched Christmas gifts if you wanted her to have toys rather than practical gifts.

SparkyBlue · 22/01/2019 12:26

She is getting a slide. That's a fabulous present for a two year old. She will be absolutely delighted.

Lifeisnotsimple · 22/01/2019 12:28

Dont sweat it, i wouldnt even bother with the slide. Recycle one of the xmas pressies. At 2yrs they dont play with half they got, get a cheap cake, family round make a fuss and she will have a whale of a time.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 22/01/2019 12:32

Not mean at all.

Your DD won't even remember it anyway!

I think for my 3rd or 4th birthday, my Mum could only afford one present. She bought me a rainbow-coloured big bouncy ball and I loved it so much I can still remember opening it! I was totally chuffed.

Don't fall for the FB/Instagram bullshit of kids needing to open mountains of presents; it's really not true.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 22/01/2019 12:34

Agree with previous posters - too many presents will be overwhelming.
Also, what stuckinarut said - balloons. How could I forget these!
Bubbles.
What about a little buggy? Another great charity shop find for my Granddaughter - has a lot of fun zooming about with it!

HoustonBess · 22/01/2019 12:36

Not mean at all. DD was happy with a little cake with a candle in for her birthday.

We didn't actually get her anything as she had presents from other family members and we thought it would be ott. We took her for a nice day out though and bought her chips!

There are other ways to express love than spending money!

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 22/01/2019 12:37

YANBU. She won’t remember it long term and will enjoy her presents.

FWIW I was in the exact same position as you when my DD turned 2 and was also short of money. She got a tea set, a book from a charity shop and a new outfit, possibly one more cheap thing I can’t remember. She was happy and that was all that mattered. I don’t even remember what my son got for his 2nd birthday but pretty sure it was only 2-3 things.

ItWentInMyEye · 22/01/2019 12:38

YADNBU! Your idea sounds lovely Smile

M3lon · 22/01/2019 12:38

Yup birthday bubble mix is the way forward....

Very cheap and hours of endless entertainment without the environmental impact of balloons.

Fruitbatdancer · 22/01/2019 12:40

Blow up balloons, bake a cake, spend time with her. Nothing else matters.

DarkDarkNight · 22/01/2019 12:41

It’s not mean, you can only do what you can afford. Don’t beat yourself up. If you feel really bad wrap some of the unopened things from Christmas. She’s so little she won’t know.

Add some balloons, kids love balloons.

CarrieBlu · 22/01/2019 12:42

I would definitely do that. On my first DC 1st and 2nd birthday’s I made quite an effort because I was made to feel like I should. It was an absolute waste of time (and money), she couldn’t have cared less. Just wanted to bounce on the little trampoline we bought her, wasn’t bothered about anything else. Won’t be doing much for her siblings early birthdays as a result!

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