Weddings.

[mazzab10]

Myself and dp have been engaged jay over 2 years and get married this summer. Wedding will have been booked 2 and a half years by time we get married. We have saved every penny to make our day what we want and with it on the horizon we are excited and can't wait.

This weekend his younger cousin got engaged. Genuinely delighted for her and her partner. However we had decided to get married very quickly, this April in fact. Our stag and hen nights are about the same time as the would be wedding. We are both a tad miffed. We feel she is trying to beat us to the alter. She's never wanted for anything and even brags how she the most qualified member of the family.
AIBU

YABVU.

Your choice to wait, their choice not to wait. Get over yourself.

Wow a simple yes would have sufficed 👍🏻

Your not being unreasonable.. you've chosen when you want you as she would be well aware of this sounds a bit like she's trying to steal your thunder
But don't worry at least you can see all the things she does and how you can improve on them for your wedding
And her wedding will be a distant memory by the time yours comes around so I would just grin and bear it.

I'm genuinely happy for her it's just she is well aware of all our dates etc. We would have married last year if we didn't have to save. I just feel if was us we'd wait at least until after my big cousins wedding x

Sorry but I think YABU. Not everyone needs to save for a wedding, and your wedding isn't as high on their priority list as it is for you.

I got engaged last September and am marrying this October - have a very close friend who got engaged in Jan '18 and isn't marrying until July '20 as they have a lot of saving to do. I'm not trying to beat her to the altar, her wedding date just wasn't in my thought process when booking a date for myself.

I can see why you'd be miffed but I don't think it's anything personal.

I think YAB a bit U.

Beyond making sure dates don't actually clash, I wouldn't plan my wedding date around my cousin's wedding, and wouldn't expect anyone to plan their wedding around mine - I mean, I obviously wouldn't book my wedding for a Friday if my cousin was getting married on the Saturday, but I assume that's not what they've done?

I think its more likely that they didn't think about you at all (I don't mean that in the mean way it sounds), and the date was just the most convenient once they took into account the fact they want to do it soon, availability of venues, any weekends their parents/close family aren't available due to holidays etc.

It's only the stag and hen night, its not like shes booked the same date for the wedding.

Sorry, I meant I wouldn't book my wedding on a Friday if my cousin's hen/stag do was the Saturday, but I assume that's not what they've done.

YABU

YABU. I very much doubt 'beating you to the altar' was even considered when they were planning their wedding and why does it matter? Who cares if they marry first, apart from you. Concentrate on your own wedding.

Are your stag and hen nights fixed already?

Its not all about you , sorry op

You can't reserve two whole years just because you got engaged first.

Out of interest how long after your wedding do you think they should have to wait? Do you have dibs on the entire summer, or is it fine as long as no one marries before you?

You’re being ridiculous. Give your head a shake and don’t attend their wedding if you can’t be gracious about it.

It's very easy to get caught up with weddings they can become absorbing and whilst I can understand that it may feel like that, your wedding day is about you guys as a couple and generally things don't cross other peoples minds.....

Unless your hen do/stag do has already been booked and her invited then she isn't going to know.
The weddings are far enough apart.

Let her be excited don't share ideas which are unique to your guys special day with family - type of flowers, colours etc just incase and wish her luck with getting a wedding sorted in a short time period!

If your stag and hen are already planned, you simply won't be able to attend the wedding.

Send a save-the-day NOW to all your family members so your wedding cannot clash with theirs if they struggle to book something and decide to get married the same month as you are.

You are a bit BU, people organised their own wedding based on their own availability, the availability of the place they like, the kind of honeymoon they want. She might have half a dozen friends and you getting married this spring and summer, as long as there's no family wedding on the same exact weekend, she can do what she likes.

I know IBU to an extent however she is more than aware of dates and yes everything is booked.

No I didn't think I had dibs on the whole 2 years just thought a least a bit of consideration for the couple months approaching our wedding we might have at least been a thought.

I would never voice my thoughts about this to anyone except dp and on this. So no drama will be caused within the family.

Sorry but YABU. I got married before several cousins who were engaged long before me. It didn't even enter my head to wait and no one ever passed a comment about it so I am assuming they weren't bothered. People often pick certain dates for different reasons like anniversaries of when they first met or things like that so the dates mean something to them. I picked February as our hotel was doing a discount on Winter weddings so obviously we were married before all the summer weddings.

I'm going to delete this thread just read the comments properly. Thoroughly expected to be told to get a grip but I honestly thought it was teens who treated others like this online. Didn't realise Mumsnet could be so nasty!!

Sorry but I think you're being a bit childish.

About the wedding I meant, but to be honest I'm not seeing any nastiness on here.

I'm going to delete this thread

🙄

To be honest, I doubt it’s even occurred to them that it would bother you because, well, it really shouldn’t. It’s not a big deal.

I'm going to delete this thread

No one has been nasty, they've been blunt at most but it's just that you don't like that the majority have disagreed with you. If you didn't think there was the possibility of being unreasonable why post?

OP: AIBU?
MN: Yes, and here's why.
OP: I'm deleting, you're all mean.
MN: 🙄

You can't delete your own threads.

Who has been nasty? People are just disagreeing with you.