To thing my need for rest in hospital should trump another patients need to have 10 visitors

[Wigwambam10]

Basicly in hospital with kidney infection which is slowly getting better. I have had almost no sleep last night as the women in the next bed had 9 visitors till 11 last night and then had her telly on really loud till 2. She then called someone and was on the phone for a hour.

I asked a nurse last night to talk to her and ask her to be quiet only to be told she can’t do anything as it’s the ladies right.

This morning at 10 all the visitors turned up again and different people have come and gone all day. There have been people practically sat in my cubical and one even tried to sit on the end of my bed.
When DH came to visit me I was in tears as I am so tired and obviously feel ill so he and a word with the ward sister and most of the visitors were told they had to leave. The sister also said that the women will be told to keep the noise down tonight
Well the night staff are on and all the visitors are back. One has almost fallen through my curtain. I have talked one of the nurses who said “the visitors are not doing any harm”. I can tell it’s going to be as bad as last night.
I lost my rag about five minutes ago and shouted to the visitors to shut up and go home and give me some peace. They laughed at me.
I am on the verge of demanding they take out my drip then getting dressed and walking out. I need to sleep so badly. I am sat here with tears streaming down my face. Nurses have seen me but no one cares.

I still remember with sadness a doctor telling an elderly lady he was discharging that it would take her at least a couple of weeks to recover from the lack of sleep and rest caused by being in hospital. The normalisation and acceptance of the fact that the hospital was in no way conducive to rest or recovery, and in actual fact had made her feel awful, is depressing.

A health service that cannot and will not treat its patients like humans is failing, not fantastic.

I sometimes think these changes to staffing in hospitals are the government's way of making people who can afford it go private - a deliberate attempt to kill off the NHS.

No help for you, OP, just a lot of sympathy and agreement with others that you should take your complaint to the top.

Those visitors are a bunch of ignorant oiks (too many of those about these days), but the hospital is responsible for your health during your stay and should kick these idiots out.

Hope you're feeling well enough to leave (if you haven't already), but follow the complaint up for the sake of every other person going through similar shit.

Most wards have no more than 3 visitors to a bed (some areas 1-2 max) and it’s not just because of other patients recovery but also as it is a hazard. If that patient was to suddenly go into a cardiac arrest, the staff would need to fight their way through the visitors. Even when a patient was dying, the visitors would be no more than 3, and relatives would take it in turns.

The ward should be telling them to wait in the visitors waiting room and take it in turns.
I would speak to the nursing staff again and if you have no joy, tell them you will be taking it up with PALS.

I am hopefully being discharged today and the last few nights have been so much better. I have contacted pals and started the process going.

The sister on the ward the day after was really mad this has happened and said she would be talking to the night staff involved. Incidentally the night staff changed last night and were much nicer

Well done Wigwam. So glad you're going home very soon

Wigwam, it’s sad that you had to mention pals before anything was done. Surely they could see what was happening and that it wasn’t right?!

I’ve only stayed in hospital twice. Once after my DS was born and that was fine. The second time was horrendous. The nurses refused to put the lights out until after midnight (?!) and then talked loudly all night. Then after my op I was transferred to a different ward where this woman (who reckoned she had kidney stones) kept making phone calls and then eating loud crunchy things and then would writhe in pain begging for morphine. It was like some weird cycle that she kept going through until one woman just shouted at her - FFS ITS 3am JUST STOP EATING

I can't believe how inconsiderate the visitors and patient were. That woman wasn't sick enough if she souls be so lively.
I hope you get some rest and hopefully a full recovery.

Yanbu
I wish there were quiet wards like quiet carriages.

I would go without any visitors at all to be able to be in a ward without anyone else's visitors.

Being in hospital puts me in a anxious state and part of this is being around other visitors.

From horrendous previous admissions where I had to deal with other people's anti-social visitors I am in a highly stressed state even thinking about the possibility of being admitted again.

glad youre feeling better wigwam

Designated quiet wards.
Sounds good - no pun intended.

As Auntie ages, not only does she refer to herself as third person singular, she becomes more sensitive to noise & irritating ineffectual self-centred people. Her complaints are now short-lived as she has acquired the habit of raising issooos & feedback formally, e.g. PALS thus allowing someone paid to do the job of sorting out internal hospital problems the opportunity to get on with it, and avoid senior management being bovvered with complaints directly from Auntie who adopts the guise of Warrier Meddler World Class.

Father of Auntie (Great Uncle) taught her to follow the chain of command to allow folk to do their job better & make good, going up the chain if matters not put right promptly. Ultimate sanction is to ring Chief Exec at 3am to share disappointment.

In more recent times, Auntie was bitterly disappointed with customer service when she had an important deadline, helpline folk would not pass Auntie up to supervisor who might override the script the call agents were reciting. So Auntie paused for tea, burrowed into internet to find details of parent company, customer service director details on their website & a little more probing into online public access data found office number of director’s spouse consultancy business . Took 10 mins to find.

A quick call to said director on her husband’s office line (in his home office ) & profuse niceness with reasonable explanation from Auntie brought the correction in customer service she had originally asked for.

So apart from Auntie’s stealth power boast, the point is don’t seethe or suffer, find out how to complain (ask for the leaflet etc) and get to it.

Sitting on beds is a huge no no due to infection control.

This really amazed me during my mother's stay in hospital, I recall visiting her when we were children and woe betide anyone who sat on the bed or visited wearing dirty work clothes, overalls etc., I recall Dad always changing his clothes to visit. If anyone had dirty hands they didn't get in either, marched off to was them!

Whispers this is why I pay for private health insurance

And everyone should listen to Auntie.

Auntie - great post!
You sound like a force to be reckoned with.

My dear dad passed away last week in a bay designed for 4 beds that due to NHS cuts had 6 beds in it. There was barely 3 feet between the beds, when we were sat with him the backs of the chairs were almost touching the next beds. There were no side rooms & whenever we were called in as his condition got worse felt awful for disturbing the other patients. Visiting was from 8.00am till 8.00pm & towards the end there was someone with my dad all visiting time, there was no privacy, we had to have a meeting where the consultant told us that my dad hadn't long to live stood next to the nurses station just outside the bay. It felt difficult to tell him all the things we wanted to say to him as there was no privacy. On the morning he passed away they sent for us but by the time we got there he had gone, we were allowed to stay with him as long as we wanted but in a time when it would have been good to have some peace the hustle & bustle of the ward was going on outside the curtains. It's left me feeling guilty that my dad had to spend the last days of his life in an environment like that, it's wrong that anyone should have to die in a room surrounded with strangers who are listening to everything that is happening, the day before he died my dad was in terrible pain, confused & frightened, he was moaning with the pain even after he had been sedated, how frightening must that have been for the other patients who were seriously ill themselves? My dad wasn't the only patient to die in that bay last week, another man died, they were both elderly & should have been allowed to pass away with dignity & in private.

So sorry for your Dad, Nat. My grandfather died in similar circumstances, and was also not the first on his ward to die. Rather expected to see a body bag a few times a week.

@Nat6999 hi I'm not sure my words are going to give you any confort. I hope you don't feel extra pain if you weren't by his side when you df died.
I'm a counsellor and we been thought that many people die when they are alone. It's almost like the choose a moment to let go.
If I may there is a fantastic book from a woman called Elisabeth Kubler Ross and it was very helpful to me when my own sister died age 44.
It may help you too.

That’s awful Nat