To thing my need for rest in hospital should trump another patients need to have 10 visitors

[Wigwambam10]

Basicly in hospital with kidney infection which is slowly getting better. I have had almost no sleep last night as the women in the next bed had 9 visitors till 11 last night and then had her telly on really loud till 2. She then called someone and was on the phone for a hour.

I asked a nurse last night to talk to her and ask her to be quiet only to be told she can’t do anything as it’s the ladies right.

This morning at 10 all the visitors turned up again and different people have come and gone all day. There have been people practically sat in my cubical and one even tried to sit on the end of my bed.
When DH came to visit me I was in tears as I am so tired and obviously feel ill so he and a word with the ward sister and most of the visitors were told they had to leave. The sister also said that the women will be told to keep the noise down tonight
Well the night staff are on and all the visitors are back. One has almost fallen through my curtain. I have talked one of the nurses who said “the visitors are not doing any harm”. I can tell it’s going to be as bad as last night.
I lost my rag about five minutes ago and shouted to the visitors to shut up and go home and give me some peace. They laughed at me.
I am on the verge of demanding they take out my drip then getting dressed and walking out. I need to sleep so badly. I am sat here with tears streaming down my face. Nurses have seen me but no one cares.

Am I a bit cruel to kind of hope she actually wants some sleep tonight and they bring in another patient who is the the loudest snorer ever.

I'd go and hide a phone under somewhere with an annoying ringtone and randomly let it ring once every 20 minutes or so. Just enough to wake her up but not long enough for her to be able to find where it is. Keep it up until she's sectioned. Then who's laughing? You!

Glad they moved you. I had this last year when I was in for a kidney infection. One lady in her 80's (she was fit as a fiddle) had visitors all day, often 4/5 of them as the whole family would turn up including grandchildren and great grandchildren. Two of her granddaughters worked in the hospital so would 'pop in' before work at 8.30am and a blind eye was turned because they worked there. It was so annoying.

I cross posted with you Tantric. I’m amazed and pleased to hear that asking visitors to limit themselves to 2-3 to a bed is not a problem where you are. It is almost always a problem where I am.

Well done for standing your ground OP.

This other patient seems just oblivious of other patients, or simply doesn't care. The way she was so gobsmacked suggests to me that people don't usually stand up to her.

And I cannot get over how her visitors laughed at you! To laugh at a distressed patient...in a hospital! So rude and disgusting.

In our hospital the TV sound turns off at 9 pm and you have use headphones. Glad you got it sorted in the end.

I had this when I was post-caesarean with DC2, including the falling through the curtain onto my bed and the loud late-night phone calls. When I had DC3 they banned all visitors except dads for (limited hours) because of swine flu. It was BLISS. Much calmer atmosphere, new mums all chatting to each other and the staff were more attentive because they weren't doing crowd control.

I was in hospital for 18 nights after suffering from an aneurysm, I hated being on the 4 bed high dependency ward as there was one patient who was either moaning that she wanted to go home, on her phone (until 11pm!!) or outside having a ciggie with partner, and another who was unconscious but had her radio playing until 9pm (hubby was lovely though). Sadly, I was glad that I had a relapse and ended up back in ICU as I had a bit of peace and once they gave up the 1/2 hourly obs, a decent nights sleep! I only had more than 2 visitors on 3 occasions (when I was admitted to ICU- DM, DD and DS, when DD came to visit me in ICU with DGD (aged 4) and her GBF (again in ICU) and when DPs and exH visited me at the same time when I was in the 4 bed ward when I became seriously unwell again - All I was thinking was 'Please don't have a row' as their relationship isn't great.) I spent more time in ICU than I should have because there were no beds in the high dependency ward once I was well enough to go back there. My last night in hospital was spent in a single room in the high dependency ward, it was bliss, no noisy roommates and none waking me up to check on me.

When my bf was in hospital recently the nurses were like dragons telling everybody to leave at the end of visiting time. I understand that nurses are too busy to be bouncers, though. They can't exactly drag people out if they linger or take peoples phones away if they use them at night! It's a crappy situation- I'm sorry.

I asked a nurse last night to talk to her and ask her to be quiet only to be told she can’t do anything as it’s the ladies right.

I strongly suspect this is nonsense. The hospital must be able to dictate what happens on its premises, including throwing out noisy visitors who won't give basic consideration to the fact that they are disturbing people who may be very ill.

*no-one

I remember after giving birth I was taken to a ward with 4 bays but just me in it, at 9pm DH was sent home and at 9:30 a woman was brought in with 3 adult visitors and a primary age child. They were talking loudly and phoning people and just generally getting on my nerves.

At 11 the 2 adults and child left but the woman’s husband didn’t leave despite being asked to by the midwives several times - by this point I hadn’t slept for over 24 hours and had a poorly baby with me and was struggling to breastfeed and I was convinced that if I fell asleep this man was going to steal my baby. At 2 in the morning I eventually went out to the front desk and stood there with my baby crying until one of the midwives went and escorted him out.

Some people are just selfish fuckers, I’m glad you’ve got your own room now

rainbow we have strict hours and numbers of visitors per bed in all wards.

However if a patient has been recently diagnosed with dementia they are allowed visitors at all times, this is a help rather than a hinderance.

obviously there will be a degree of flexibility here and there but never to the detriment of other patients.

Can you get some headphones for yourself & listen to some nice music or stories on audible to drown out the other people? I hope you make a speedy recovery & soon go home to rest.

Yes - well done OP - a positive of being ill and tired is that it can make you really 'grumpy' and able to say things when you might not ordinarily do so. I did a super-grumpy (as a 25 yr old emulating an 85 yr old) at the next bed "some of us are trying to get better you know" whilst fiercely pulling the curtain across. She was 'carousing' with her bf and was slinging the lead to get off work she discharged herself immediately.

I'm sure the nurses aren't really annoyed with you and as you'll be resting away/sleeping now - they'll be looking at you like an 'easy' patient that doesn't give them any trouble.

I still think my story might pip these.

I had a 24hr traumatic birth, thankfully dd came through it fine. I got wheeled into a two bed room, so small the curtain was actually jammed between the beds rather than hanging. The young lass in the other bed was in for observation, had some worrying pains and looked to be only just in 3rd trimester. She had her boyfriend with her.

They shagged loudly all night, bumping my bed and dd’s cradle thingo. I’d call the nurse, they’d stop, nurse would shrug and leave, they’d laugh at me and start up again. Barely 3 feet from my head.

This only stopped when at about 5am her moans of pleasure took on a different note, one I had become very familiar with very recently. I called the nurse again and told her lass was in labour. Nurse & boyfriend laughed, lass didn’t. Cue medical emergency- room stuffed with doctors arguing. Dd & I snuggled up in a tiny corner, me apologising to her and explaining that the outside world wasn’t usually so loud and crazy.

Finally they all left/got wheeled out. I had to get up to turn off their tv, lights and reorder the room and throw away their stinky food scraps. With a million fresh stitches causing me agony.

They were back all too soon. Not the baby, who was very unwell in NICU. Lass didn’t seem concerned, spent all that day on the phone loudly to various mates and relatives describing the baby’s race. Apparently this was important. I’m surprised she could discern it, given how the baby’s main colour was blue.

I begged to be sent home before the visitors began... I truly believe that first night (together with the birth) plunged me into the next months of mental anguish. If I’d just been able to sleep, I suspect my body and mind might have had a chance. It was like being carried wounded from a battlefield...to another battlefield.

Sweet dreams, OP. And good on Mumsnet!

Going against the grain here and know I’m gonna be flamed but hey....

Do you know what wrong with the lady OP? Do you know she doesn’t have a serious condition which won’t get better?

In your scale of illness you’re really ill (yet almost ready to be discharged)....in my experience hospital for a kidney infection is a little bit dramatic

And as for reporting to the nurses, etc, don’t you think the poor staff who work for the NHS have enough to deal with, keeping people alive without having to deal with complaints about much of nothing???

If you don’t like the NHS go private, if you choose to avail yourself of our fantastic health care system and then complain the hospital has (god forbid) other poorly people in then you need to seriously have a good look at yourself.

Flame away MN’etters

Oh and by the way, you had my sympathy (if not my support) right up to the point where you posted how you managed to rub the other ladies nose in it as you left the room.

I bloody hate visitors. Surprised the nurses haven't told them to sling their hook.

in what world is it her right to have that many visitors and be on the phone all night?

nothing to do with shortages they need to be pulled up on that officially

glad you got your own room now op

@SingleDadStill our director of nursing would take this complaint seriously so you're wrong. Basic nursing includes control of the ward, visitors and the impact on others.

Kidney infections can be very serious and can kill so you're talking bollocks. Do you think the op told the dr she wanted a bed and they said "well it's our busiest time of year but knock yourself out"? Clearly she needs to be there if she's been admitted

Op, some people in life are just dicks. Hope you're feeling better. Don't worry about complaining. We had a number of complaints about squeaking wheels on equipment. Now the equipment team uses wd40 in all wheels regularly - no complaints about that since. Complaints = learnings and change that makes a difference!

Can see why you're still single, singledad.

OP, brysiwch wella'n fuan, get well soon. Reminds me of being on the maternity ward the morning I gave birth. Chav next to me had the whole world in to visit her, had brought huge bags in with her and left them everywhere and had a radio and light on all the time when the visitors finally went. On the phone loudly. Totally took the piss. I had myself discharged before I was ready, because I couldn't cope.

And I probably would have snapped at her too, if she had had the audacity to be so rude if I was being moved away from her to get quiet and rest. What a dickhead.

I had a friend in hospital on an IV for a severe kidney infection. It is extremely dangerous not to be in hospital on a drip if it's at that level of bad. So don't let anyone try tell you you were wasting nhs resources. Also, those of us who rely on the nhs because we aren't the fucking monarchy, we still deserve quiet and proper treatment when sick.

If the noisy woman was really ill, the last fecking thing she would be doing is carousing with visitors and on her phone all night.

Have you ever had a kidney infection? I have. I collapsed in the doctor's waiting room yet I still wasn't severe enough to be on IV antibiotics or sent to hospital. I spent the next 24 hours in my own bed trying to drink gallons, writhing in pain and fever, and crying for my mum, a couple of hundred miles away. That was on oral antibiotics; the op is on IV. I've been left with a damaged urinary system from it, so it's not a mild infection.

It's a lot easier for staff to keep people alive without people underfoot; one reason why visitors are restricted in intensive care and high dependency. Apart from the fact that the last thing a seriously ill patient wants is a load of visitors; all you want is to be left in peace to sleep and get better.

yeah singledad shes dying whilst laughing and joking all day and night with her4 visitors

In glasgow we have a new super hospital with all single rooms - bliss

shame about the pigeons eh?

there's nothing worse OP

the only time ive seen lots of visitors allowed was icu when my mil was dying even then we were quiet