To ask what you would do if your child damaged something in somebody else home? Would you offer to repair or replace at your cost?

[NoNameNoGame]

What you would do if your child damaged something in somebody else home? Either by accident or on purpose.

Examples:
-Spilt something in the carpet/Sofa (stain won't come out / damaged beyond repair)
-Broken an item, whether it was cheap (under £30, expensive (£30-500) or VERY expensive (over £500)
-Marked or damaged furniture or walls
-Broken or damaged ornaments
-Smashed or broken electrical items (e.g. TV)
-The list goes on...

Would you offer to repair or replace at your cost?

Has anybody been in this situation from both sides? The "damager" or "damaged"? How would you ask the "damager" to pay? What if the item was VERY expensive?

If the item was very expensive I'd offer to pay the insurance excess, anything not very expensive I'd offer to pay.

Yes i would. I tell my DC this regularly, no scooters or balls near cars,be careful in friends homes. I would really hope they had insurance and I could pay an excess if it was massively expensive, if they didn't it would be my responsibility pay up.

I think it's an risk you take hosting small children?

I'd feel extremely uncomfortable asking any parents of any child we have hosted to pay for something I've had on show /left out etc. It's my fault surely?

If it was deliberately done ie child stood there and deliberately chucked paint everywhere then I'd probably just mention its and go from the there...

If my child then yes I would immediately offer to pay. If it happened in my home by another child - I wouldn't ask but I would be disappointed if they didn't offer.

If I was there then I'd be responsible but if they are being looked after by home owner then it's up to them to pay

I wouldn't have the money to be able to pay. I would apologise profusely and be mortified but I wouldn't pay.

I had a long term friendship end in this way. 4yr old was upstairs at my house playing with my 4yr old. They went into my 8yr olds bedroom (my 4yr old came to tell me as he knew he wasn’t allowed in there) By the time I’d got upstairs with his mum, he’s used black felt tip all over my daughter’s ivory wardrobe. It was very expensive and I couldn’t get it off. My friend just shrugged and said oops. Offered to try and clean it but when it clearly wouldn’t come off she just said it was stupid to have a white wardrobe in a room with felt tips.
The 4yr olds had been told to play in the one bedroom and if they’d been 2 I may have excused it but to my mind a 4yr old doesn’t draw on furniture. Ex friend refused to take any responsibility for it and we are no longer friends.

If it was on purpose and very expensive, I'd offer to pay the excess or replace it. (whichever the host preferred)

If it was accidental and very expensive, I'd offer to pay the excess.

I would immediately offer if it was my child.
If it was somebody's child in my home, I would hope the parents would offer, but I would decline their offer anyway.

I would offer, yes.

If it happened in my home though, I wouldn't ask or accept an offer from someone else to pay, especially if it was an accident. I've never come across a child who has damaged something on purpose. Maybe I'd feel differently if they deliberately threw something at a tv and broke it but nothing like that has ever happened.

I'd feel extremely uncomfortable asking any parents of any child we have hosted to pay for something I've had on show /left out etc. It's my fault surely?

You surely can’t be saying you tidy away everything of value either intrinsic or sentimental every time a child enters your house?

I just think if you aren’t willing to pay then you don’t sit drinking tea and allowing your child out if your sight. Not until they reach an age where they don’t inflict wilful damage.

Partly depends on circumstance, I think. If child was messing about or getting over excited and silly, and parent was there and didn't stop it, I think it's on parent to pay. Throwing things or racing around indoors, for example, or going in rooms or cupboards they'd been told not to go in.

Genuine accident where fragile or expensive item had been left where child might spill something on it or knock it over even when behaving well, I think parent might offer a contribution, but if it was that valuable, it should be insured, and/or put out of the reach of children. Drink spilled on laptop left out on low table might come into that category.

I'd offer to pay probably, if it was expensive then just the excess or repair (re-cover a sofa not buy a new sofa). I'd hope if they were looking after my child and he hadn't done it maliciously that they would say no as it would be their fault. I can't think of when I would accept payment for a child damaging something in my house, probably only if they are much older (10?) and it's malicious damage.

I would always offer and if my child did the damage on purpose not only would I insist but I would also buy a gift as an apology and get my child to apologise.

However, I’d never ask but depending upon what the issue was and how it came about, I might not invite that child round again. Our very expensive items are covered by insurance and are not things that we are sentimental about.

My child did the damage.
Utter utter horror and mortification.
I offered to replace the entire carpet.
Owner said no, the vanish came out and the carpet was cleaned.

The husband of the owner went absolutely bazerk, shouting and swearing down the phone, owner who was at the time of the incident calm and ok about it, while her dh was going batshit I could hear her sobbing and wailing in the background.
A very nasty affair all in all.

You surely can’t be saying you tidy away everything of value either intrinsic or sentimental every time a child enters your house?

This wasn't aimed at me but I have been known to move a couple of sentimental items before kids came over to play. They could easily have got knocked over during normal play so I would rather just move them than risk it.

Yes I would offer to repair or replace. Luckily my DC never have done this, but would offer if they did.

When dd1 was small DP's DN who was a rather hefty 6 year old at the time climb into her cot and started jumping around in it she completely destroyed it! We couldn't afford to replace it, so DP had to just bodge it back together as best he could.

DSIL never even appogised let alone offered to replace it! I couldn't believe it. they were MUCH better off than us and it wouldn't have been a big deal for them to replace, even with a second hand one. But what really got me was the lack of an apology. Still makes me mad to think about even 13 years later!!

cough journalist daily fail cough

It would depend on the circumstances. If the adult was letting them play dodgeball in the lounge and the television got broken then no. If they decided to climb up the bookshelves and knocked them over and broke the television then I'd think about it but probably decide no because they don't climb the bookshelves at home and why the f* was the adult letting them do that?
I've never asked the parent of a visiting child to pay for anything that was broken, if it was them being badly behaved they have never been invited again. I think we've only had one thing broken.

If your child damages/breaks something of someone elses of course you replace it/pay for it - don't really understand the question!

Depends if the child's mum was there or
Not. I've seen this scenario on judge judy.. and she said if the child's mum wasn't there and the child was a guest it's down to the host to pay himself because he/she wasn't supervising the children properly. If the guests mam was there it's up to her to supervise and therefore pay.

However I'd probably just pay and wouldn't go to judge judy over it

Mum if four here, none of my children ever broke or damaged anything in my or others home because they didn’t run wild.

If my children had broken something due to my negligence, I’d have paid to replace.

I presume this is a reverse?

Can't believe people are saying they'd only offer to pay the excess - so basically the homeowner has to claim off their insurance which could ultimately result in them being out of pocket if their premium goes up, because you can't be bothered to teach your children to be respectful of other people's property......

I would offer, in fact insist, to pay in full every single time, regardless of circumstance. If it's my child's fault, then I cough up.