To ask what you would do if your child damaged something in somebody else home? Would you offer to repair or replace at your cost?

[NoNameNoGame]

What you would do if your child damaged something in somebody else home? Either by accident or on purpose.

Examples:
-Spilt something in the carpet/Sofa (stain won't come out / damaged beyond repair)
-Broken an item, whether it was cheap (under £30, expensive (£30-500) or VERY expensive (over £500)
-Marked or damaged furniture or walls
-Broken or damaged ornaments
-Smashed or broken electrical items (e.g. TV)
-The list goes on...

Would you offer to repair or replace at your cost?

Has anybody been in this situation from both sides? The "damager" or "damaged"? How would you ask the "damager" to pay? What if the item was VERY expensive?

You see, @funinthesun19, I’d still absolutely see that as my responsibility. My child, my liability. Otherwise you could say if you’ve dropped your child round at a friend’s for an after school play date then it’s not your responsibility if your child damages the hosting family’s property!

You surely can’t be saying you tidy away everything of value either intrinsic or sentimental every time a child enters your house

When my ds was small the things were cleared away anyway.

If a small child came in now, to what is obviously not a child-proofed house, I would expect their parent to supervise them. If I was looking after them, I would supervise them.

A small item got damaged on a play date at a another child’s house. To be honest not sure who broke it. Could have been dd or other child.
I was mortified and offered to contribute but other parent wouldn’t have it.

Depends on circumstances - IMO it's down to the responsible adult to risk-manage, so if child is mine and I wasn't present I wouldn't pay unless deliberate, whereas if I was I would probably at least offer to pay. (If hosting house wasn't really suitable for children and there was a high risk of something being broken, then ultimately I'd still feel it up to me to either gently suggest moving a couple of bits, or decline invite).
If deliberate the parent should pay in full.

If the item was mine, then whether I'd ask for payment depends on expense, whether it's easily replaceable and whether the child was misbehaving or being inadequately parented. If an accident and I can easily replace the item I'd write it off as accidents easily happen!
But then I'd usually have a quick sweep of the house if expecting child guests, depending on age and SEN.

Happened to me. On holiday friend's child ran into our cottage and threw a water bomb (accidentally) over our MacBook (£1000+). Friend paid the insurance excess.

My DD had a friend sleep over-think they were around 10-and the friend unfortunately wet the bed.
It was a pull out sofa bed/fouton thing and so the mattresses was the sofa. It was absolutely drenched. The poor friend was mortified- as was DD on her behalf-and the sofa bed had to be thrown out-it was not salvageable.
I didn't ask for anything as poor girl was mortified-I think Mum offered to pay for cleaning but didn't.
I think because it was completely an accident I wasn't angry-very different to DC who play roughly, break things, make messes they don't clean up etc

I wouldn’t expect parent to pay in those circumstances either. A child accidentally wetting the bed is just one of those things. However, if it had been my DC, I’d still offer.

If someone’s DC broke or ruined something at my house, then of course I would pay myself. That’s the risk when you invite others into your home.

But, if it was the other way round, I would offer. Contradictory I know.

Ooooh good question.

When I was about 8 I accidentally rode my brand new bike into the back of a neighbour's car (parked stationary on his driveway). I don't know what my dad did in terms of sorting it out (will ask him!) but I do remember being sent round with a bottle of champagne by way of apology...

(NB I smashed the plastic casing on one of the rear lights.)

Can any of you who would only offer to pay insurance excess, or not pay at all, just not bring your kids round my house - thanks

Coming from the point of view of it being something of mine a friend's child had broken I think my expectation would depend on how it happened.
My friend's child can be quite a handful and once pushed my tv off of the tv stand. My friend tried to get to her in time but didn't - her child was not even two yet and it was a mistake. The tv wasn't broken but if it had been I wouldn't have expected her to pay - it's my house and it's the risk you take when you invite small children. However if she hadn't been supervising and letting her child run rampant ignoring our rules then I'd expect them to pay me back.

Of course you pay. And not just the insurance excess.

Those that are saying they would pay the insurance excess should really check their insurance covers them for outside of the home. They need to be claiming off of their own policies. They won't necessarily be covered in a homeowner policy. Some people's selfish attitude on this thread is eye opening.

Where's the op

Sounds like a journalist using you all tbh

Every situation is different. A 3 year old dropping a £500 vase, I would need to ask why they were given the vase and unlikely to pay. A 9 year old purposely writting on a carpet in permanent pen, I'd pay for a professional clean and if it didn't come out a replacement.

No not unless it was purposeful damage or entirely unavoidable (teenager throwing a ball in the house). That's what insurance is for. Would probably offer the excess.

I wouldnt bill anyone for a child accidentally breaking/damaging anything in my house either, although again the excess would be appreciated. That's why I have insurance.

I get why people are saying that it's not good enough to offer to pay excess but if my DD broke something worth £500 in someone's home (perish the thought) it would be impossible for me to find. Almost as unlikely as being able to lay my hands on £5k.

Thankfully she's not caused any damage anywhere but I'd hate to think someone would think I'm a total CF because I'm poor.

I’d offer to pay for any damage my dc caused but if it was a genuinely accident I’d expect it to be declined tbh. If it was on purpose I’d insist on paying and my dc paying towards the cost with their pocket money.
I wouldn’t expect anyone to pay for genuine accidents in my home either. And if a child broke/destroyed something on purpose I would probably just not have them back or make sure they are in sight at all times. I can’t imagine a parent being anything other than defensive if told that their child has wilfully damaged something. They would convince themselves it was an accident.

Totally depends on the situation. I remember DS smashing a snow globe at a friends house when he was 2. Friend had let him and her DD go off to play in the bedroom, I kept popping in to check on them and she kept telling me not to worry. He then came in with a cut finger and she went off to the bedroom, coming back with the smashed glass. She told him off, telling him how precious it was (as though he understood, poor thing just got more upset at being shouted at!) while I tried cleaning up his finger. I didn't offer to replace it. Partly because she had been more worried about telling him off than about him being injured (it was quite a bad cut!) Partly because she had insisted I didn't check on him, and partly because it shouldn't have been in reach of a small child if it was that precious!

Lost at the risk of sounding.. I don't know...

But I have been stripped of everything precious to me twice.

The most precious things in my life are my dc and dh.
I have items loaded with sentimental value, no dc would access them or go hear them.
Also we have not had the ££ to stuff house with anything expensive however dh was raised in a house where it was made very clear what cost what and how important it was.
To this day.. The things are given higher value than the children.

We chose to have a relaxed house where there is no damage that couldn't be repaired... Nothing broken that couldn't be replaced etc.

Dh didn't have many friends over (mum wouldn't allow it) and on a rare occasion she did the friend did break something and was Vile to the child.

But that child's friendship was worth so much more.
We choose not to be like that. And if we do ever get more expensive items then we will just make sure we are well insured.
I just can't sweat about this.
Of course a dc coming in deliberately damaging is different and thankfully in 12 years and 2 dc we have never had any damage or any problems

Without hesitation however they knew right from wrong and how to behave so no wilful damage. No accidents either but have had a few at home by us all as that's just life.

My DC don't visit anyone for this reason. They don't value anything. I wouldn't trust them not to do something wrong. I've been completely unable to teach them not to touch my possessions.

My kid broke another kids toy once (by accident) I replaced it. It just felt like the right thing to do

My eldest once scratched a record really badly at a friends house - he was 4 but hadn't seen one before, and they had it at toddler height with the lid open. He then scrubbed the needle back and forth, ruining a vintage jazz record.
My fault entirely, as I'd clocked the record deck when we'd arrived and hadn't asked them to close it, or kept a close enough eye on him.
Fortunately it was only £15 to replace!
The friend didn't demand it be replaced, it was just automatic to me to offer, and easily done.