to wonder if there's anyone else who can't afford a baby

[GoldCloud]

I and not pregnant, would like to be, but know we can't afford it. It's really getting me down. Our combined income is £55k, but the rent and bills alone is around £1600 a month and we can't afford to drop down to one salary. And then there's food, commuting costs etc. Going back to work would wipe out the majority of my salary in childcare fees and we have no parents willing to help us out with childcare either.

Moving to a cheaper area is out of the question, as DP needs to work in London for his sector. We already live an hour away from London (via train), and the area is relatively cheap compared to other towns. To live in a cheaper area we would need to move about 30 miles away and that's out of the question due to jobs.

I know this sounds self pitying but I don't understand how anyone can do it unless one or both are on a great salary and they have parents on hand to babysit. I know people say no one is ever financially ready for a baby, but there seems to be lots of people who manage even more than one child, a nice house, holidays, and even with the mother on a part time salary. How?

I’m interested in those saying their combined household income is around 20k. How can that be unless you’re both working well below minimum wage, or one person is working full time on minimum wage and the other is working 1 hour per week?

One full time one part time on min wage would give this total take home income.

Op we were in a similar position in the SE when I had my children. I re-trained so I could work evenings & weekends when my husband was home to look after the kids. We were really bloody skint & I used to have to pay for food on my credit card some months...but it got better once the kids were about 3 and we got free childcare.

It wasn’t fun but you can do it - not working/commuting saves more money than you think, you can wear crappy old clothes all day and I used to only eat toast for breakfast & lunch which was way cheaper than a Pret sandwich & nice office clothes! And I got really thin Also you won’t be able to go out for dinner etc so you save money that way too. You can also get baby stuff really really cheap if you’re clever - we got everything second hand except the car seat & cot (which was from ikea so really cheap) Like I said, it’s no fun but it’s doable & worth it in the long term.

Good luck!

You're right, £27k is the median after tax household income.

I know it's a bit off the main point but you are also highly unlikely to be living in the centre of Coventry as a family. So factor ina good 30 minutes at least to travel to Coventry train station, then add your 2 hours travel... looking at nearly 5 hours travel a day on a good day with no delays. I had to commute from Birmingham to London daily for a few weeks when I was in my 20s, with no baby keeping me up all night. I was shattered!
Bit more on topic - babies are cheap compared to older children. You are not wrong to be nervous. We earn much less than you but do not live in London and have good equity. We don't feel we can afford a second child.

Agree that it’s about priorities.

We lived in London. I moved back to the North East to have my twins because NOTHING mattered more than being a mother.

I can’t work atm as twins are only five months. DH is working, but only on 18 grand a year at the minute. We live in. Housing association house (which is much bigger and nicer than our pokey London flat was)

Yes it’s hard. We have to count every penny. There’s going to be no holidays, meals out or God knows what for a long time. I don’t care though because none of those things can compare to the joy of finally having my babies.

I can't! My lone income not high enough atm anyway, but DP is paying off a law school loan atm and we're in the SE, so sorting that out and getting housing are necessary priorities. I did upsize my car recently though, I've bought one I hope will last a good while so I purposely chose one that would cope with more stuff in it.