to wonder if there's anyone else who can't afford a baby

[GoldCloud]

I and not pregnant, would like to be, but know we can't afford it. It's really getting me down. Our combined income is £55k, but the rent and bills alone is around £1600 a month and we can't afford to drop down to one salary. And then there's food, commuting costs etc. Going back to work would wipe out the majority of my salary in childcare fees and we have no parents willing to help us out with childcare either.

Moving to a cheaper area is out of the question, as DP needs to work in London for his sector. We already live an hour away from London (via train), and the area is relatively cheap compared to other towns. To live in a cheaper area we would need to move about 30 miles away and that's out of the question due to jobs.

I know this sounds self pitying but I don't understand how anyone can do it unless one or both are on a great salary and they have parents on hand to babysit. I know people say no one is ever financially ready for a baby, but there seems to be lots of people who manage even more than one child, a nice house, holidays, and even with the mother on a part time salary. How?

Have a look at childminders, they may be cheaper - remember you'll also get 20% paid by the government.

So your joint income is about £3600 after tax, right?
£1600 rent & bills
£600 commuting and food
£1000 childcare
That comes to £3200 so should be affordable?

After three years your childcare bill will drop by maybe half due to 30 hour funding.
Then the following year it will drop further when your child is at school.

baabaamoomooneigh we don’t if we give a month’s notice.

So many ‘calculations’ on here are completely ignoring tax when talking about take-home pay and childcare is a fortune anywhere near London.

My CM would be over £1300 a month full time for a baby, the nurseries nearby all are £1700 for a full-time place. Obviously that improves after they turn 3 and tax free childcare is definitely a help but that’s a long time to be utterly broke.

OP earns about £21k on a take home of £1300 and therefore DP will earn something like £33,400, about £2k a month

Outgoings of £1600 (does that include food?) leaves £400 a month, whether or not OP works.

If food isn’t included in that £1600 then it’s VERY tight. If it doesn’t then still tight but more doable.

I live in an unfashionable London suburb and it costs £2.9k to run our home without childcare costs and we don’t have loads of fancy extras - just a big mortgage for a modest house.

So, re-reading the OP

Net combined income - £3300
Bills and rent - £1600
Food - £300 (very conservative imho)
Commuting - £300
Childcare - £1300

Deficit - £200 every month

OP - it’s really shit

You can claw back about £167 per month from tax free childcare and you’ll also get £80 ish a month child benefit which will take you to £47 per month surplus.

Not a comfortable margin.

There are definitely places within an hours commute of London where rents are less and childcare is 1000 a month at nursery and less at a childminder. Like others, we live in one.

Commuting costs are higher than 300 a month each though and nursery hours plus commuting times makes 2 people working in London difficult long term anyway. Is there a reason you can't look for a job outside London? If you only get SMP, can you find a job in a related sector with better benefits (even if it's lower pay) - it's part of the reason I took my current job?

GoldCloud what job do you do? 18000 is a low salary in the south east - if your after tax salary is the same as childcare for one child a very practical option would be to register as a childminder and mind two other children besides your own. How much do childminders charge in your area?

I was actually better off once everything was taken into account as a childmindwr in the south east than teaching on a 60% salary (school worked on a two week timetable and it was apparently impossible to offer 3 days per week, so I was doing my marking and preparation in non contact time at school and paying full time childcare on a 60% salary. I kept getting asked to do cover in my unpaid time and got very fed up - being my own boss childminding was wonderful and the finances worked out similar).

Once they are 2 they get 30 free hours of childcare until school.

There is help available before that, like tax free child care and tax credits on household bills etc.

Save like buggery to cover those first 2 years. It will be the best investment you ever make.

cavy it's three.

Oh yes! I was thinking, in my head that the 1st year childcare would be potentially covered by mat leave, leaving only 2 years to sort.

Sorry.

I’m sure you can move somewhere else commutable where the rent is less than £1600 a month. That seems incredibly high.

How old are you OP?

cavycavy but affording a full 12 months off isn't feasible for a lot of people and would require OP to have a lot saved to cover this.

And it's 30 hours free from the term after they turn 3. For us that means not getting them until DD is 3 and a half which is over 3 years of us paying for full time childcare

OP if time is on your side, why not spend the next two years saving hard? Cut back on anything and everything that you can, change utility providers etc. Then you will see how you would manage on less money plus have a good savings buffer.

I recall being told, when we said something similar many years ago, If you wait until you think you can afford it you'll never have a baby!

You can afford a baby. But you can also make excuses about why you can’t on £55k too.

I can’t understand the maths here. We managed with 2 in nursery on less plus you will Be part time so it will only be part time fees ???? You can’t have a champagne lifestyle but as people say it’s priorities

On paper we couldn’t afford it either but you cut back and make savings where you can. I also borrowed some money on a 0% credit card when I was on maternity leave just to get by, I won’t be able to pay it back until the nursery fees stop, it’s not ideal but to me it was worth it.

Would either you or your partner be willing to change jobs and find something that fits around the other's hours while the child is young? You could avoid paying for childcare that way, and will probably end up bringing home more money working part time during evenings/nights/weekends than working full time 'normal' hours once you factor in childcare costs.

I’m interested in those saying their combined household income is around 20k. How can that be unless you’re both working well below minimum wage, or one person is working full time on minimum wage and the other is working 1 hour per week?

Coventry is an hour away from London by train! You could find somewhere much cheaper to live

But it’s not an hour away from the workplace is it. I used to work in east London, from Coventry I would have to go to Euston, then two tubes, then a 15 minute walk from the station to the door at work, including the walking between platforms at train stations and waiting for trains, plus whatever the walk from home to Coventry station is. Really is much closer to two hours if not more.

If OP would earn less than the cost of childcare and commuting it would make sense to take the full maternity leave and stretch it out as long as possible. It may well require OP to have a lot saved to cover it, but if she's better off during the unpaid 3 months than back in work yet still wouldn't be able to afford the 3 unpaid months, that would kind of suggest she's right about not being able to afford it?

OP what would happen if you both dropped some hours? You can earn nearly 12k tax free and the 5th day is always the worst paid, iyswim. Probably neither of you would earn enough to cover the costs of childcare on your 5th, fully income taxed and NI'd day, but on the days below the threshold you would.

My rent and bills are £1242. Our income is £1699 combined. We have baby. You will make it work

It’s about prioritising your cash as others have said.
Even on one salary, you could afford it.
We are an hour outside of London too. We are a single income household, DH brings home £30k after tax and we are expecting DC3. I’m a sahm at the moment because childcare costs mean it makes no financial sense for me to go back to work and then spend my entire salary, plus some of DH’s on childcare.
We drive a basic car, meal plan and budget our food shops accordingly. I put the household income onto a spreadsheet and budget down to the penny - and we are actually managing to save a little each month which we’ve never done before. We could splash out a bit more on the “naice” brands at the supermarket, but then we wouldn’t be able to save as much - again, prioritising.
We are lucky in that we pay less than market rate rent for our house, but we put the difference into a child ISA for each of our DCs instead.
In your position, I’d look at all the scenarios (ie you becoming a sahm, you going part time, remaining full time and paying for full time childcare etc), put it all on spreadsheets and weigh up the figures. I can’t see you shelling out for full time childcare being worth it. From the figures you shared above, your £1350 monthly income, then spending £1300 on childcare fees, you’d probably spend the other £50 easily on petrol to get the DC there. So the I can only see part-time work or sahm working really

The average household income is something like £28k.

Is this right? I thought the average wage was £28k - which is very different!

The average uk salary is 28k, not household income. It’s very easy to just google it before giving false information!

Thought so @NothisisPatrick - thanks for clarifying!