I have name changed for this but...
My DH has a fiery temper forever, he also had a drug abuse problem, weed when we met but previously coke. We met and married very quickly as obviously there was an awful lot about him that I loved. There was a couple of incidents of violence before we had children, the worst when I had a miscarriage and was just home from hospital, we had an argument because he was going out with his friends when I needed him and he pushed me hard and sent me flying across the kitchen floor, I called the police. I then got the ‘I will change I will change etc etc’ and gave in took him back and we had my DD.
When DD was 4 months old we had an argument, he was absolutely useless sleeping 10 hrs per night in spare room, getting up at 10am whilst I was up all night with our newborn Dd. I was totally shattered.
We had an argument when I was holding 4 month old dd and he went for me and grabbed my neck. I was terrified. I didn’t call the police though because I was scared of social services but I left him that night, called my parents and went to stay with them.
In this time he enrolled himself in an 8 month long abusers rehabilitation course, attended NA and gave up weed and alcohol and was prescribed sertraline. When I could see a real change in him I took him back and eventually we had my son.
I honestly feel like he is a completely changed man, in 4 years he is hands on dad, absolutely equal parent, does most of the domestic chores and is a patient loving father with the children. He is calm and loving with me and absolutely dotes on me.
I read all the time that abusive men can’t change but honestly I feel that he has, it took a long time for me to be convinced.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation?