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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask

52 replies

Namechangetoask2019 · 18/01/2019 17:47

After all your bills are paid how much money you are left with every month?

H and I disagree on how well off we are. After pensions and bills are paid we have about £2200 a month left over. I think that a very healthy disposable income. H things we aren’t as ell off as I think we are. His ideas are slanted by a vey affluent upbringing. Mine was more ‘normal’

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 18/01/2019 17:59

Why do you need to know what randoms on the internet have left over each month? You're also rubbing people's noses in the fact you have that amount left over. Not nice, sorry.

TheCakeCrusader · 18/01/2019 18:04

YABU...

user139328237 · 18/01/2019 18:05

Lots of people don't get that much per month before bills...

Original poster
Namechangetoask2019 · 18/01/2019 18:07

Er ok if you say so. For all you know we live in a 1 bed flat and have few hills hence why we have ‘that much left over’

I didn’t ask what anyone earns or what their bills are.

OP posts:
Mabelface · 18/01/2019 18:09

Probably about a tenner. I don't earn anywhere near your disposable income.

peterpanwendy · 18/01/2019 18:10

Yes YABU

Bombardier25966 · 18/01/2019 18:10

Nice stealth boast.

And what's wrong with a one bed flat?

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 18/01/2019 18:10

For the average person, that’s a LOT of disposable income. The vast majority of people don’t have that amount to take home after tax etc, let alone have spare.

Pachyderm1 · 18/01/2019 18:11

Our views are meaningless. Are you spending 6 million pounds a month on your mortgage? If so that isn’t much. But if it’s a healthy chunk of your income, it is.

Why does it matter anyway? Does your DH want to look for alternative jobs?

FascinatingCarrot · 18/01/2019 18:11

It's a very healthy left over amount for many people.
But I'm sure you know that

Quartz2208 · 18/01/2019 18:11

The thing is what do you consider to be bills - does that include food expenses/travel etc

Neverunderfed · 18/01/2019 18:14

How is it in any way relevant? So you can say "see husband? Random A is on the breadline, we're doing great"?

Passmethecrisps · 18/01/2019 18:15

It is completely relative but your left over is roughly my monthly salary. I consider us to be comfortably well off. We have little left over if any but we have a comfortable life style. We can afford treats when we fancy and can largely cope fine if something unexpected happens like the boiler breaks.

Based on my own upbringing and current life I would say you were very comfortable if not nudging affluent.

Do you want him to be more grateful? Enjoy your relative wealth? Why does it matter?

BishBoshBashBop · 18/01/2019 18:15

I am pretty sure you are well aware that is nearly the same money than those on average wage actually get paid gross before tax and deductions or any bills.

Lovestonap · 18/01/2019 18:15

So, you want us all to tell you how poor we are in comparison so you can say to your dh 'look, we've got loads more money than everyone on here!'

OK. You have more money than we do. You win. However, me and my husband have a shared outlook on life and priorities which you don't seem to. So, perhaps I win.....

Original poster
Namechangetoask2019 · 18/01/2019 18:16

The reason I ask is this issue has caused some heated discussions between H and myself.

Unlike me, he doesn’t frequent forums such as this and doesn’t read the various posts I do about everyday life and how much it’s costs. He was brought up in a very affluent environment and our income is not at the level he saw growing up and so his perception is slanted.

I had hoped that a balanced wicussion on here would be useful to show him. I forgot any discussion on money/lifestyle is immediately seen as stealth boasting, bragging and ends up as a slanging match.

I’m a fairly regular poster but have changed my name to ask this so as not to our myself.

OP posts:
SpoonBlender · 18/01/2019 18:20

Jesus, lot of defensiveness going on.

We have £1800/month after bills etc, as we've paid off the mortgage. Two thirds of that goes into savings for us and the DCs (the two thirds that used to go into the mortgage).

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 18/01/2019 18:25

But what does it matter if the next 100 posters say they have £100000, 53p, £250 or whatever left over each month? How is it going to affect you? You must know from being a regular on here that so many posters find it hard to manage month by month financially? Can't you see how your little brag isn't very nice?

GhostSauce · 18/01/2019 18:26

I think that's a shitload to have left over.

PinkGin24 · 18/01/2019 18:28

After all household bills, mortgage, horse cost, food, travel costs we have £1,600 left between us.

But we put the majority of that in savings so disoosable income is about £200.

Original poster
Namechangetoask2019 · 18/01/2019 18:29

Oh leave it out. The number of people that have dc at expensive private schools on here is massive. I have lost count if the number of ‘discussions’ on what people do for jobs and average mortgage payments are. This is no different.

OP posts:
TheOxymoron · 18/01/2019 18:30

You will get flamed op. If someone with a low income asked this that would be accepted but people that have are always wrongly attacked.

I think that is a good amount to have left but everything is relative.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 18/01/2019 18:32

Hope you get what you're looking for then by starting this thread OP Hmm

Original poster
Namechangetoask2019 · 18/01/2019 18:32

More than likely Wink this place is so hypocritical it’s untrue somethings!

OP posts:
TheCakeCrusader · 18/01/2019 18:34

Tbh, I’m not really sure whether asking random people will truly answer your question as incomes will be enormously variable. You’d need to ask someone who had the same income and similar outgoings/lifestyle to make any kind of comparison! Even then, the answer would depend on how someone perceives a particular sum of disposable money left at the end of the month on whether this amount makes them feel ‘normal’ (normal to what though?!) or not well off.