Would you date someone who was unhealthy?

[Breakawaygirl]

In my younger years, I dated men who were very big social drinkers, ate poor diets (think KFC and pizza), didn't exercise or were smokers. Not all of my partners were this way but a consistent number were. I put this down to youth (lots of teens drank too much and ate badly and then got to grips with their health as they got into their early to mid twenties.)

I personally am very healthy other than an addiction to chocolate. My typical diet is MOSTLY vegan/vegetarian (I think the current definition would be a flexitarian) with occasional eggs, fish and chicken.

I work out a lot and try to take good care of my mental health.

This year, having dealt with a terminally ill mother, I've found that I am really repulsed by the thought of dating a man who does not prioritise his health.

If someone smokes, drinks too much, does drugs or doesn't exercise, I worry about impending health issues. I think I am a bit scared from caring for my mother. Of course you can be healthy and still become unwell, but I do find it hard to truly invest in a person who does not prioritise their own health. Even if a person may have one vice, they need to care about health in general.

A male friend whose mother died from lung cancer triggered by smoking agreed that a woman who did not take care of her health in ways she could control would be a dealbreaker after the suffering he witnessed with his own mother.

Does anyone else feel this way about health, or would it not be an issue for you?

Date who you like. If a heavy smoking drinekr doesn;t do it for yu then don't date them. I am overwieght but eat a healthy diet (just too much of it) and don;t exercise enough so no doubt you'd be horrified by snogging me. That's fine.

Interestingly I cared for my mother who died last New Years day also from cancer. It didn't make me think I have to date specific people to maximise my chances of them being around forever, it made me think that live is short and precious and what's important is that we share time with people we love and people who make us happy.

If someone who smokes doesn't make you happy good luck to you.

You're ruling out a lot of people who might make you very happy though, but that's your choice.

I’d never date a vegan.

Oh and I don't know how recently your mother died but I went through quite a long spell of thinking it was pointless loving anyone as they were going to die! It does wear off (mostly).

Actually, given the amount of British people who can’t possible think of making a meal without meat, flexitarian indicates a different kind of ‘mainly’ plant based eating habits which is not the norm for the majority in this country.
Sushi

Hope you don't mind me asking where you got your facts from to make the statement about "British people not being able to make a meal without meat".

One of the most physically healthy people I know doesn’t smoke or drink alcohol. He’s constantly banging on about diet, healthy living and bloody running. He has BPD and, although goes from relationship to relationship, I doubt will ever have a satisfying relationship.

OP as you've said I think this stems from caring for your mum and the thought of loving someone who would perhaps put themselves through that by choice.

As others have said, you can have whatever dealbreakers you like but people smoke, drink, take drugs etc. for different reasons and it does come across a little preachy/judgemental on a thread, but that may be because it's written form.

for you OP - caring and watching a parent die must be so painful.