To be so over Facebook narcissism

[festigirl14]

I have got a friend on Facebook who has just had a new, expensive kitchen. Cue ‘I’m so pleased with my new expensive kitchen’ and 20 photo pics and the underlying message of ‘look how successful and loaded we are’.
I’m happy for her but it has really made me question this underlying narcissism of facebook- What’s it actually for?
Is it to stay in touch with friends (as originally advertised and the main reason I am on there) or is it to boast about all aspects of life and to almost create a managed version of ourselves - as if we are managing our own PR or something. It feels like it’s got worse in recent years but maybe it’s just bothering me more.
I felt like screaming ‘NOONE CARES’ at my friend (I do actually like her but she’s a bit of a twat on Facebook)

I’ve also deleted FB this year.

As well as being bored by the narcissism pp have mentioned, FB’s failure to protect privacy or tackle political misinformation on the site, along with its stategy of attacking critics who point out what a negative force it has become, has tipped me over the edge. Enough now.

I find this so irritating! Although a lot of my fbook friends often post about their kids (and not fancy houses. Maybe they are just as skint as me?!) have a bloke on my facebook whose girlfriend tags him in everything to do with their little girl and its always a post about 'how more advanced their little girl is compared to other children her age'. Infact I think there was a post about the health visitor confirming their thoughts that their little girl is much brighter than other children they have seen with a big cheesy grin at the end!! Like wtf. I am pleased when I see posts about my friends children doing well but not when they have to involve belittling other kids.

Yes it’s a sad world we live in now. Why do people think taking selfies, photos of food, boasting about how great their life is, is normal? It’s not normal!! Facebook is fake and narcissistic. I have no time for it and more and more of my friends posts are making me cringe.

So many of you have friend problems and not social media problems.

Just had a quick look at the posts showing on my timeline; all enjoyable and all interesting.

The whole point of social media is you make it work for you.

Why follow people who annoy you?

Funny. If my friend's kids do well, if they get a nice car, go on a nice holiday, I feel happy for them.

So much spite.

I love photos of new kitchens. Definitely more of those please - I will provide that attention

I like posting my achievements now and then on Facebook. I have no parents to be proud of me and I believe my achievements are worthy of comment. Yes I enjoy the likes and the attention. I don't need it all the time, I'm happy in my skin too. But I enjoy Facebook interaction.
Hardly the crime of the century is it?

Saying you're happy with your new kitchen isn't a stealth boast. It's saying you're happy with something and sharing it. I love seeing renovation photos.

Personally, if it was endless materialistic photos then it's a bit annoying but it's not narcissism.

Stealth boasting is the lamenting over one thing (usually a problem) whilst seeking to draw attention to something else. E.g. Don't you just hate it when your nail breaks attached to a photo of their hand held on the steering wheel of their new Audi with the badge clearly in pole position in the image. Aka 'look I own an audi'

I don't understand the anger about FB! It doesn't hurt you, and to be honest that is your problem and not theirs. If you don't like Facebook posts where people talk about their lives, don't go on it

User1474

That is horrible of your friends. I’m all for people celebrating their kids achievements but blatantly saying they’re better and cleverer than other kids is awful !!!!

Nah, if someone owns an Audi I find that the least impressive thing ever. If anything it’s the sign of a bad driver with a large credit debt. All the Audi drivers I know live in their mothers spare rooms.

Someone upthread mentioned the 10 year challenge - I took part in this, simply to show that phone cameras are better nowadays as the 2009 one was barely visible - I’ve got no airs around selfies.

It makes me laugh when certain friends (and family members) do the whole ‘making memories!’ photos with their kids, it all looks so perfect. However they’ll have told me, or I’ll have heard, how the day was stressful or shit or the kids were being dicks...i so often want to comment!

I’m interested - if you react to a photo of someone’s new kitchen by assuming they’re telling you how successful and loaded they are, rather than just wanting to share their pleasure, does that say more about you than them?

I left this year as a friend who goes to Manchester in our group for Christmas shopping each year posted loads of photos (boring). Then posted photos from Previous years! 🙄. She does that with holidays too. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back and I’ve not regretted leaving...yet. Oh go on then...I admit I’m missing my groups.

The thing is with Facebook is it’s not compulsory, you can block posts or people. I use it as a sort of journal for myself. I love the memories feature where I am reminded of lovely days out etc. I don’t have many ‘friends’ on there compared to other people. I am genuinely pleased to see nice posts from my friends. Plus I’m nosy so love a new kitchen post.

Plus I’m nosy so love a new kitchen post.

That's the crux of Facebook, for every oversharer their is an equal amount of vouyerists, the people who usually complain are the sort to add anyone and everyone as friends and then complain that someone else's sanitised life is perceived as better than the complaints sanitised life that they post on Facebook.

It's very easy to unfollow people who you likely only talk to face to face twice a year, but people want to be nosey and then pretend they are morally superior when some random post marginally upsets them in some non descript way

I hate it on Facebook, whereas I love it on Instagram. I love searching Instagram hashtags for home and product ideas. But I find the exact same thing on Facebook unbearable.

I love Facebook. Its a great revealer of people's emotional intelligence. If you get jealous or wound up by other people's stuff that they're proud of I really think its an issue with your mental health and level of personal happiness. Ive observed that people who need to 'take a break' from social media are generally a bit anxious. Equally people who post dozens of heavily filtered selfies are obvs a bit insecure.
Thankfully my Facebook world is quite a happy place, as I'm only friends with people I know in real life and who share similar political opinions, levels of education and emotional intelligence etc.

Just delete Facebook if you don't enjoy it. I deleted it years ago. You can still keep the messenger app and use that if you deactive facebook so can keep in touch with people without having to see the showing off.

@MotherofDinosaurs

You sound insufferably smug. You are probably the type of person the OP is talking about.

Elle1111112 I'm sorry you think I sound smug. I'm generally a very contented person. If that angers you in any way maybe you should look at what you can change in your own life to make you a bit happier

A colleague of mine is currently posting regular updates on her acne treatment.

Elle1111112 I'm sorry you think I sound smug. I'm generally a very contented person. If that angers you in any way maybe you should look at what you can change in your own life to make you a bit happier smile

You’re taking the mickey, right?!

Stinkytoe yes I am

(but I do think that people who think other people are showing off are generally a bit unsatisfied)