To be so over Facebook narcissism

[festigirl14]

I have got a friend on Facebook who has just had a new, expensive kitchen. Cue ‘I’m so pleased with my new expensive kitchen’ and 20 photo pics and the underlying message of ‘look how successful and loaded we are’.
I’m happy for her but it has really made me question this underlying narcissism of facebook- What’s it actually for?
Is it to stay in touch with friends (as originally advertised and the main reason I am on there) or is it to boast about all aspects of life and to almost create a managed version of ourselves - as if we are managing our own PR or something. It feels like it’s got worse in recent years but maybe it’s just bothering me more.
I felt like screaming ‘NOONE CARES’ at my friend (I do actually like her but she’s a bit of a twat on Facebook)

I just had a quick look at my FB feed and apart from adverts, updates from news sites I follow etc, a snapshot of today from my friends includes:

• Look at this car I’m working on in my garage.

• Happy birthday to my beautiful daughter.

• I am having a drink in this nice pub.

• I am going to this exciting event on Saturday.

• I have had a nice walk with my boyfriend in xxx park.

It’s all narcissistic showing off about what a fabulous time people are having, if you break it down.

I post very rarely these days, usually photos of my cat. No doubt there are people who get annoyed and think I’m showing off about my fabulous cat.

(I have many photos of my cat available for those who are interested in seeing them )

Puppy monkey, I wouldn’t actually class any of those as showing off really.

I have a friend who posts “sitting in the VIP lounge at Stansted, waiting for my flight to Paris. Such a hard work day.” Or “another round of golf with (insert vintage spurs player) what a hard life!” Or “finally upgraded from that tiny 3 bed to a 5! Loving the new house! Benefits of being an accountant I suppose!” Or the hashtag #mywifesbetterthanyours

He wasn like that in 2007 when we all first got Facebook, he’s become more like it and it’s horrible to see friends who weren’t like it either competing in the comments. One particular group are all from the same school and it is renowned for being competitive, I think they have just carried it over to adulthood. It’s all about who is making the most money.

InSightMars
I just don't want or need to show off anything. I'm happy with my life and don't need validation, approval or attention from people on Facebook. The people who matter to me are the ones I see day to day in real life and they know everything about me and what I've been doing anyway, so there's really no need in me plastering my shite over facebook.

It’s all narcissistic showing off about what a fabulous time people are having, if you break it down

But telling your friends about nice things that have happened to you isn’t narcissistic . It’s just normal conversation.

If you met your mate for coffee it wouldn’t be surprising or upsetting or annoying if she said “my kitchens finished do you want to see a picture? It would be quite normal.

If she said “do you want to look at a picture of my cat?” you’d humour her but not really be that interested.

There are some distasteful posts on fb but “look at my new kitchen” is not the same as “look at all my Christmas presents”

I rarely post on Facebook, I share competitions and maybe once every month or two share a picture of my girls.

Damn right I'm showing them off they're the most beautiful/clever/loving/sparkly girls ever! 😉

That aside I love seeing what my friends are up to and those who I don't really want to see, I unfollow or unfriend them

Most of my fb feed is taken up with group posts to do with my hobby. The rest is Simon's Cat, Absolute Radio and Hurrah for Gin. I've actually hidden most of the people I know because their boasty or moany posts (it's nearly always one or the other, never anything in between) did my head in!

I'm sure someone has said it but 'comparison is the thief of all joy'....

Oh no I hope I’m not your friend, I put some pics of my new kitchen on Facebook because I love it so much, I call it my second child. I didn’t mention how expensive it was though. But I did make the picture look really arty and pinterest-y. ok I sound like a total knob

It was also a way of recommending our joiner as he was amazing if that makes me sounds any more reasonable

I love to use fb as a diary. I love looking back on the memories every day! If we are out for a meal we’ll sometimes check in and take a group photo because looking back on that in 5 years will be lovely! Or when I put my veggie patch in the garden and spent the day working as a family. Or when we picked up our dog and brought him home. To me it’s memories not bragging. I think people can be so bitter about it!

Fb is different things to different people. Some people use it to validate their lives and make themselves feel better, others get off showing what they eat every meal on ever day! I use it to keep up with friends that I do a certain hobby with. As long as you don’t take it too seriously it’s a good thing. But I can well understand that people who have mh issues struggle with it, as everyone’s lives seem so much better than mine

I’ve had Facebook for years but only ever use it these days to see what friends are up to, and I use it to check in at the football each week and posted a picture of my new car.

I hate the type of people who write ‘little Johnny is still sick omg can’t believe it. Just waiting for a taxi for my uncle and then I may call the doctors again. Again! He’s so sick I think he’s getting worse lol 😂😂😂’

These people are honestly writing like they’re having a conversation with themselves and wanting sympathy and posting contradictory emojis. I ended up unfollowing them but keeping them on friends list. It works for me. But I’ve for the most park switched and use Twitter and Instagram so much more - interaction on a Twitter is so much better and it’s a whole manner of people. And Facebook is for attention seekers and vanity and why most of my friends and me barely use it.

But I’ve for the most park switched and use Twitter and Instagram so much more - interaction on a Twitter is so much better and it’s a whole manner of people. And Facebook is for attention seekers and vanity and why most of my friends and me barely use it.

If there is an infiniti of vanity somewhere it is instagram 😂

I should have said Twitter 😂

Instagram I like but I barely post myself, just watch famous peoples stories and my friends photos.

I don’t know if it’s just where I live and my inner social circle but we all seem to see Facebook as a bit trashy now, it had its high about five years ago and after the data sharing scandal it went downhill. Now it’s constant adverts of what it thinks I like, and posts from friends of friends. I have it as a memory and timehop is great, but I don’t actively use it or check it everyday.

I 'hide' anyone who's posts annoy me (or unfriendly them if appropriate)

I don't see many posts from 'friends' anymore, just those who I find interesting. Most of my feed is full of posts from pages or groups I like, which is much more interesting.

People posting their new cars on fb is a pet hate of mine. Showing off about things takes all the niceness away I feel.

Just to add to my last post. I don't really post much publicly myself. However I do post a lot of pictures so only I can see them, so use it a bit like a diary. I love to see the memories come up each year.

There's always going to be someone who is better off than another person

Someone posts their wedding photos - another has just realised her marriage has ended

Someone posts a photo of their new baby - someone has just had yet another negative pregnancy test

Someone posts a photo of a night out with their best friends- someone hasn't got friends to meet up with.

Someone has just got a promotion- someone has just found out they might be made redundant.

This is life! There's ups, downs and all sorts of emotions. If we can't share our successes with our friends then they're not friends anyway

Baxdream

^^ That is so true !!

I cringed this week when I saw that my son-in-law had posted a video on FB of my DD taking possession of her new car in the showroom. Bit more dignity people.

I deleted FB last year and have been much happier for it. There's a good book written by a tech insider called "Ten Arguments For Deleting Your Social Media Right Now" which puts a very persuasive case about how facebook makes assholes of us all. There's probably an algorithm that pushed your friend's home improvement pictures to the top of your feed because it knew they would bug you.

I like to see pictures of the kitchens my cousins husband builds. He's rightly proud of his work.

I deactivated my Facebook account on 1st of Jan. Don't miss it at all. Haven't deleted it as want to be able to occasionally check school Facebook page. But I haven't done that yet. Only thing I miss is seeing the memories.

Adults posting filtered 'picture perfect' selfie after selfie on facebook or any social media is what I call narcissism. It screams LOOK AT MEEEEE!!! Kinda desperate don't-cha think? Personally I'd prefer to see 20 pics of a mates expensive new kitchen instead of 100s of pics of her filtered face, pout trout, false lashes and fake hair extensions. Lol

My bad... that should be trout pout.

That book about deleting social media sounds interesting, I think I’m going to order it